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Original poster

Don't want to be a nurse anymore

111 replies

m1s · 29/10/2022 11:47

Been a nurse for 4 years. Loved it through uni then I qualified and absolutely hated it. Rode it out for a year then changed jobs. Stayed there through covid. Was off for 18 months (mat leave and put on medical suspension for my last 6 months of pregnancy). Returned back around 6 months ago and it's taking a huge toll on my mental health and quality of life.

I just got offered my dream job but feeling like I don't even want to pursue that anymore.

Every day off I spend dwelling on things, not feeling like I'm a very good nurse and it's completely and utterly exhausting. And I hate it because it's affecting my time with my family. I just don't know what to do. I've had counselling through work which helped a little but now back to square one again.

I just feel like I should be looking for a job that will allow me to have a better work-life balance but I also feel I would be wasting all that time and effort. 7 years of my life!

Anyone else felt like this? What did you do about it? I know the NHS is under a lot of strain at the moment. Well let's face it, it has been for a while...
Just feeling very down in the dumps and desperate for some enjoyment back in my life for my family's sake

OP posts:
custardbear · 29/10/2022 11:56

Why not look into research, being part of a research team sometimes they need nurses or people to recruit patients coming into hospital. Are you in a university or research hospital? There's a thing called CRN nurses too who work on research so it's a very different job to normal nursing

Didiplanthis · 31/10/2022 15:07

Dunno.. but I've just resigned from my job as a doctor after 25 years because I absolutely cannot do another year of it. I have no idea what I'm going to do but I might just be alive to do it .. and that is no exaggeration...

USaYwHatNow · 31/10/2022 15:23

I came off the Midwifery register a year before covid hit, then got the guilts and went back. When I went back I quickly landed a job in Risk/Safety. Office hours, B7 pay. Is there a specialism you could look into?

USaYwHatNow · 31/10/2022 15:25

I did have a mental breakdown though which necessitated me leaving the register. Don't let it get that far. There is life after the NMC, and you'll be surprised at the amount of transferable skills that you have

JamSandle · 31/10/2022 15:27

I totally get it. At the end of the day you need to look after yourself. We treat nurses and care professionals appallingly here.

glassfully · 31/10/2022 15:33

I spent years qualifying to be a solicitor. I don't regret giving it up. It wasn't the right job for me.

KangarooKenny · 31/10/2022 16:10

If your work life is affecting your home life, it’s time to make a change.
I dropped my hours and that helped me.

N1C · 31/10/2022 19:59

I left nursing but still remain registered. I'm much happier now as a manager at a university and I don't feel like my time as a nurse or training was a waste as it's all about transferable skills (you will have many!). What was the dream job that you wanted?

Gevrgrgrtv · 31/10/2022 20:00

I quit pretty much immediately

the patients were the problem. The bullying is. Jesus Christ it was hell.

AnghofioPopeth · 31/10/2022 20:06

I left too, best thing ever. I don't think you realise how traumatic it is until you leave.

There's no feeling quite like knowing you are giving substandard care, and however hard you work it won't change.

While the NHS is underfunded, understaffed and running on the goodwill of the peoole on the ground you can't make a difference.

Gevrgrgrtv · 31/10/2022 20:07

Patients were not the problem* sorry!!

MidnightConstellation · 31/10/2022 20:12

I keep reading about the bullying culture in nursing. Who is doing the bullying? Is there a complaints system? Are nurses in a Union?

Gevrgrgrtv · 31/10/2022 20:16

HCAs who have been there a long time, other nurses, matrons

You’re spoken to like you’re less than nothing. really dehumanising

I was so worried about the patients from all of my research. Patients were really lovely; it was my colleagues. And I’m not a victim type person, always got on well with colleagues and had a great time at work. I could not hack working on a ward because of my colleagues

MidnightConstellation · 31/10/2022 20:46

That’s appalling.
So much for the caring profession. I must say my experience of nurses when I was in hospital after a traumatic birth was not good.

Bestcatmum · 31/10/2022 20:48

I ditched nursing after 20 years for podiatry. 9 to 5 weekends and bank holidays off. Not nearly as stressful. I wish I'd never done nursing and gone straight into it.

Justcashnosweets · 31/10/2022 20:57

I've been in mental health nursing for over 20 years and I am done. I only work part time but I spend my days off dreading my days on. I feel like I am functioning on various levels of stress all the time. I'm giving it until the new year then I am going to try and get out. So I totally understand where you are coming from OP, and I wish you the best of luck.

FannyFifer · 31/10/2022 21:00

Justcashnosweets · 31/10/2022 20:57

I've been in mental health nursing for over 20 years and I am done. I only work part time but I spend my days off dreading my days on. I feel like I am functioning on various levels of stress all the time. I'm giving it until the new year then I am going to try and get out. So I totally understand where you are coming from OP, and I wish you the best of luck.

Covid seems to have really escalated the stress & trauma for all the staff. Its horrendous moral is so low. I've been a nurse so long though I literally don't know what else I could do instead.

SirMoose · 31/10/2022 21:00

I’m a student nurse 🥲

Original poster
m1s · 31/10/2022 21:00

@N1C specialist nurse in haematology.

I just feel like I have nothing more to give sometimes and I don't want to feel like that. I cry on my days off because I dread going into work. It causes so much anxiety for me it's ridiculous. Sometimes I daydream at home about what it would be like to work in a supermarket. I would happily take a pay cut if it takes away this feeling.

I agree with others re the bullying. It massively impacts morale and there is a definite divide. Everyday I'm left to feel like I don't know how to do my job because of the way people speak to me. The bullyish behaviour has gotten worse since before I was on mat leave.

I just really feel for those who are newly qualified and just joining the profession. I worry about the future for nurses

OP posts:
Teacakexo · 31/10/2022 21:03

Have you considered community nursing for a better work life balance? I have a number of friends who chose this option as working on the hospital wards was totally burning them out

Original poster
m1s · 31/10/2022 21:08

@Teacakexo I've heard community is worse. I have a few friends who work in community who unfortunately all have advised me to not do it 😞

OP posts:
LardyRoot · 31/10/2022 21:12

School nursing? Think of all the loveky holidays….

AgathaMystery · 31/10/2022 21:16

custardbear · 29/10/2022 11:56

Why not look into research, being part of a research team sometimes they need nurses or people to recruit patients coming into hospital. Are you in a university or research hospital? There's a thing called CRN nurses too who work on research so it's a very different job to normal nursing

It is a very different job to ward nursing but it is clinical research and let me tell you - it’s hard. It’s essentially a sales job. So your contract (almost always fixed term) depends on your recruitment skills and if you hit your targets. You might inherit studies with unrealistic targets where you don’t have the correct population to recruit to etc.

clinical research is a discipline in its own right. I would not recommend it as a way to escape ward work. What happens is your old colleagues become dismissive of you and you better believe you end up mopping up all sorts of mistake because by default you have the time.

Flossiemoss · 31/10/2022 21:18

LardyRoot · 31/10/2022 21:12

School nursing? Think of all the loveky holidays….

Think of the safeguarding !

why don’t you try the specialist nurse role before making a decision? I’ve returned to specialist nursing after a trip into general. I find I have much more autonomy and am listened to and can improve the service. Far better opportunities for development than when general. usually better working relationships too and opportunity for more sociable hours.

if you still hate it after a year you could go repping- that’s lucrative , or look at research?

Rosenotred · 31/10/2022 21:21

glassfully · 31/10/2022 15:33

I spent years qualifying to be a solicitor. I don't regret giving it up. It wasn't the right job for me.

Well done you! I've known solicitors that have trained as nurses too.

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