Don't want to be a nurse anymore

[m1s]

Been a nurse for 4 years. Loved it through uni then I qualified and absolutely hated it. Rode it out for a year then changed jobs. Stayed there through covid. Was off for 18 months (mat leave and put on medical suspension for my last 6 months of pregnancy). Returned back around 6 months ago and it's taking a huge toll on my mental health and quality of life.

I just got offered my dream job but feeling like I don't even want to pursue that anymore.

Every day off I spend dwelling on things, not feeling like I'm a very good nurse and it's completely and utterly exhausting. And I hate it because it's affecting my time with my family. I just don't know what to do. I've had counselling through work which helped a little but now back to square one again.

I just feel like I should be looking for a job that will allow me to have a better work-life balance but I also feel I would be wasting all that time and effort. 7 years of my life!

Anyone else felt like this? What did you do about it? I know the NHS is under a lot of strain at the moment. Well let's face it, it has been for a while...
Just feeling very down in the dumps and desperate for some enjoyment back in my life for my family's sake

I think you have misunderstood what I meant.
I'm agreeing that not all nurses are bullies, that it's a bit of a trope to say all nurses are bitchy!
It's a massive culture in the NHS as a whole as its the only way it has functioned barely
I have a lovely job as I'm not frontline and it involves patient safety.😉

I left nursing last year for a career in informatics. I was a nurse for over a decade. I consider the time taken in experience and being educated to be a nurse more like a sunk cost, particularly if you have more years in your working life left to do than what you have done.

Also the opportunity cost of being a nurse is significant. There are so many other career possibilities. Other sectors, more pay and more important organisations that create conditions in which their employees feel safe. Which in my entire career in nursing I never felt safe, not physically or psychologically! I
Mostly felt like a unit of labour!

It's not clear to me why the expectation is to absorb so much personal risk to fulfil the requirements of a job. My feeling more so because it's a caring profession and
a gendered one at that.

What about going into private nursing? Conditions and pay seem to be much better.

I'm a nurse in a private hospital & we get paid less than our equivalent grade in the NHS, no unsocial hours payments & less holiday entitlement. Parking is free.

It's OK to want or need to leave. My current job is probably the best i have ever had and the team around me is great. But I cant do it any more... I have always been passionate, caring, going the extra mile was what made my job for me and what made me good at it. But there is simply not the space in the system to do that anymore and trying to swim against the tide is making me so ill. My BP at work is regularly 190/130... with headaches and chest tightness, at home it is fine. I had to realize this is going to kill me. I have to walk away.

I'm a Dr.

This is such a sad thread. I feel so sorry for those of you who want to care for people and can’t do your job properly. It’s a bloody disgrace.

It's impossible to really describe the overwhelming feelings working in the NHS causes. There is bullying, this is not within my ward but, by the hierarchy and, they get away with it. I have had difficult conversations with senior mangers to explain this, it's all ignored or, I am made to feel like a trouble maker and the managers get promoted I kid you not. I have approached the freedom to speak up guardian, it took 3 weeks to get a response.

I have given up, I am a deputy sister and really try to look after my staff we have such a lovely team. However, my last shift I felt so unwell headache, racing heart, I can't describe the pressure I was put under to discharge patients. I only managed a 20 minute break and finished late (13 hour day). I really don't know what to do. I always get disturbed on my breaks we are understaffed and they still move staff.

I feel really stuck, I admire the people who have left, I really don't know what to do.

I love the patients on the whole but it's killing me. So no advice really although it sounds like you have a better alternative lined up.

Someone on here called it well when they talked about the “personal risk” carried. I know of a healthcare assistant who missed something in their job and is now being charged with manslaughter (sadly the patient passed away). this is awful and that staff member absolutely should have done the thing they missed - no excuse. But what we are talking about is a person on less money than a shop assistant carrying the risk of being imprisoned for missing a task and this is the pressure people are under every day all day. If I miss something will someone die?

If you don’t work as a front line staff take a moment to think of all the times you have missed something in your work or got something wrong and imagine now that every time that happened you ran the risk of someone dying and potentially you’re life being ruined also. This is why NHS staff stress levels are through the roof.

This used to be manageable with a good strong team of experienced colleagues behind you, because things didn’t get missed and colleagues helped each other out. Now that’s gone there’s no one to help, no support and no one to pick up the slack.

Leta be clear that the government sets nurses pay not individual hospitals the government is responsible for the lack of front line staff. The “independent” governmental body the CQC punishes hospitals for having vacancies which forces them into having to use agency staff. Hospitals managers are forced into these decisions. The government could change this tomorrow by increasing nurses wages with inflation and the use of agency staff would drastically reduce and the total cost of front line labour would reduce.

The amount we spend on overseas recruitment and agency staff far outstrips what a front line staff pay rise would cost.

The amount of waste in the NHS is dreadful and that needs reform- not from a health minister who has never worked in health but someone with experience in the NHS and understands the system.

The amount of “ridiculous” management posts do need reducing. This would in part be reduced by increasing front line staff wages- many people only go up the chain because they can’t afford to stay in a front line post. Secondarily the CQC push this agenda with their constant need for figures, evidence, quality improvement and transformations strategies- all requiring large teams of expensive nurses. We need a back to basics approach.

In my hospital a matron had to run around changing each hand gel to alcohol hand gels for the Infection control inspection and then back again to foam for the CQC safety inspection. This is the kind of things that are happening every day all over. Matrons are not sitting around doing nothing- they are doing nonsense like this.

I recently left a full time band 7 prescribing specialist nurse role, due to exhaustion caused by the long shifts with no breaks and bullying culture. It’s not just confined to the wards, or to junior staff, it’s endemic throughout the NHS in my experience. Currently doing bank work at a lower grade (very fortunate to be able to do that) while I look for something transferable long term. Good luck OP.

This thread is an education to me. It’s appalling that the NHS is in this state.

@Girlsontour I just can't bring myself to do it. The ward would be left too short staffed and I think I would feel guilty. Not that I would be doing anything wrong by going off sick because I agree with you it's a sure sign that my mental health and well-being is not great. But I know that if I do go off then it will be unsafe staffing-wise and I would feel awful about it

I'm a nurse and wish every day I had trained in something else. The day to day pressure is immense.

@m1s the thing is you are literally the same as those patients, you are not getting the help you need and are in an unsafe situation. I’m not sure how long you can survive putting everyone else’s needs before your own. You won’t be of help to anyone if you have a mental break because the outcome is the same, you aren’t at work, but in this scenario you are also a casualty. You can’t take personal responsibility for a system that is broken.

@Shininghope the last sentence in your first paragraph is exactly how I feel and think. All day everyday. Of course people make mistakes or miss things (unintentionally) but there are potentially serious consequences if you do. It doesn't result in just losing your job. It ruins your whole life thereafter.

You can have the busiest day and your mind is just so clogged with everything that goes on in those 13 hours that it becomes a huge risk that something could get missed. That coupled with lack of sleep, lack of breaks, and the dynamics within a team can be a recipe that results in something bad happening. And this is what is making me miserable (although I do believe my awareness of this makes me be very thorough - my peers probably think I'm slow but I'm being careful... it's my PIN number after all).

And it doesn't matter how much experience you have or what 'rank' you have because I witnessed a mistake just last week by a senior member of the team. I'm not sure of the outcome yet but it happened. And I just keep thinking, I don't want to feel like I'm taking that 'risk' every single day for the rest of my working life. That it feels like it's only a matter of time that I'm going to be that someone who made a mistake or missed something and then I'm going to regret not leaving the profession earlier.
It's tough.
I'm going to give this new job a go and I am praying that it allows me to feel like I'm doing a good job. Because if it doesn't then I will just have to call it a day I think

Sadly it’s usually other nurses.

I just got offered my dream job but feeling like I don't even want to pursue that anymore

OP ..what do you mean? What is your 'dream job'.. can you say more?

Sorry ... I dont know how to just show a,little bit of rhe OP. Im curious about this dream.job you've been offered

@Toohardtofindaproperusername so a job that I've always wanted to do has been offered to me. Within the NHS as a nurse

@SirMoose Just wanted to reply to you that my daughter qualified 2 years ago and although she finds it hard work, she still enjoys it. Hope this thread does not put you off your studies. There is good and bad in all professions.

you could train as a best interest assessor, under the Mental capacity act? You could then work independently, choosing your hours, but still use your nursing background. It’ll change over to liberty protection safeguards soon, so that’ll mean more training, but hopefully a ‘top up’ rather than a huge course.

Same! I’ve been a nurse for 14 years and I’ve met the most awful people I have ever come across… all of which are nurses 🙄 management are scared to stand up to many of them so befriend them or brush it under the carpet! It’s torture but I didn’t have a clue what other job I could do that payed the same! Luckily I’ve just changed jobs to another department and it’s a lovely team who have restored my faith and reminded me why I came into nursing. Maybe the change will do you the world of good OP. Hang in there x

Work for the industry? Eg clinical trainer.. a good website is Zenopa or star medical

I’m in Haem too OP. I empathise. I couldn’t count the hundreds of patients I have lost in my nursing career and I think that also takes a toll. I got to know and care for those people, and there was real grief when they died. Over and over again. Also, like you say, the constant pressure of worrying that something bad will happen on your shift and you will end up in court, being sued etc is a heavy weight. My friend who has just quit to do talking therapy says, you don’t realise how heavy that weight is, until you leave and it’s lifted. I love my job. But I’ve had 3 brief mental health breaks from it and managed to pick myself back up. If you are really struggling the safest place for you is at home. Nobody can make good clinical decisions whilst suffering from extreme stress. Hoping things pick up. Feel free to DM me to talk all things Haem!!

Totally echo this. If you need time off do it. (Most) teams don’t care about us as a person, we’re just a number that can be replaced. And if something does wrong the support they give is non existent! Me and some other nurses are up in court soon and it’s been handled dreadfully! Look after yourself x