Don't want to be a nurse anymore

[m1s]

Been a nurse for 4 years. Loved it through uni then I qualified and absolutely hated it. Rode it out for a year then changed jobs. Stayed there through covid. Was off for 18 months (mat leave and put on medical suspension for my last 6 months of pregnancy). Returned back around 6 months ago and it's taking a huge toll on my mental health and quality of life.

I just got offered my dream job but feeling like I don't even want to pursue that anymore.

Every day off I spend dwelling on things, not feeling like I'm a very good nurse and it's completely and utterly exhausting. And I hate it because it's affecting my time with my family. I just don't know what to do. I've had counselling through work which helped a little but now back to square one again.

I just feel like I should be looking for a job that will allow me to have a better work-life balance but I also feel I would be wasting all that time and effort. 7 years of my life!

Anyone else felt like this? What did you do about it? I know the NHS is under a lot of strain at the moment. Well let's face it, it has been for a while...
Just feeling very down in the dumps and desperate for some enjoyment back in my life for my family's sake

I worked for the NHS for six years, that was enough for me.

I've been frontline in the the NHS since 2007. I would liken it to a relationship with an abusive partner, which is why it is so hard to leave. I have no advice, but solidarity. If you make it to the other side, good luck building your new life!

That's what I always felt like too! I've never been in an abusive relationship but if I did that's what it would feel like! It's like being an abusive relationship with your employer. Also the culture doesn't help! 'We don't do it for the money' is commonly said in ward areas. Why on earth not! This is about the lowest possible negotiating position one can put themselves in!

I think a lot depends on the colleagues in your team. Yes the working conditions and staffing pressures will always be the same wherever you are, but a good bunch with a sense of humour who pull together can make a big difference.
My main operating theatre team got on well, and so did the minor suite - everyone was valued, and felt able to contribute - but there was one specialist area where the staff were cliquey and bullies, turnover was high and nobody wanted to work there.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a positive thread about nursing! It is definitely making me doubt my decision. I’m training as a mental health nurse.

@SirMoose don't despair! I'm a nurse, nearing 20 years! I still love it. I'm old and don't take any shit now, just tell bullies to fuck off.

I did slide into the private sector (still in NHS but urgent care service is private) and we have better hours/pay. Plus there isn't the same politics.

Yeah I’m thinking of going straight into private I think! I want a good work life balance. Plus I have been so utterly failed by the nhs me Tal health system that I don’t want to be a part of that tbh!

It's awful watching the whole system fail so dramatically. I don't think the NHS proper has even another 5 years left the way it's going 😔

Not a nurse but an AHP, have been in the role for 12 years, considered leaving many many times but I feel a loyalty to my patients and the NHS, who will pick up the work if we all leave?

Ah. ... is it a team u know or an are u know well? Sometimes just,changing team, trust, or role can make a massive difference to how u feel about your work.

why don’t you try the specialist nurse role before making a decision? I’ve returned to specialist nursing after a trip into general. I find I have much more autonomy and am listened to and can improve the service. Far better opportunities for development than when general. usually better working relationships too and opportunity for more sociable hours

I'm a specialist nurse too work 8-4 four days a week one weekend in six always get home on time love my job love the team I work with. Good money. Complete autonomy. It took a few years to get here but I'm finally so happy and fulfilled in my job. Plough on. Keep at it. There are so many options in nursing you'll find your niche

How about something like CHC?
Usually 8.30-4.30, no weekends, can work from home, it's a band 6 role.
I did it for 3 yrs before I moved to Channel Islands and absolutely loved it!

I'm a student nurse too. These threads terrify me.

Not everybody is cut out for nursing. If it's not for you look at other areas where your training will help (gp receptionist) type of thing. Don't do something you hate. The can be a good work life balance in the NHS because if the part time hours offered.

@Toohardtofindaproperusername yes I know the team well (well I'd say half of them). I'm hoping that this opportunity is the light at the end of the tunnel

That sounds hopeful and positive. I honestly think hospital jobs are about the team ..I recently met,a a couple of nurses who werr going to leave the profession and a change of team has made them fall in love with nursing all over again. It was so lovely to speak with them both.... (at different times).
Find your team.... things needn't be the same in all areas

I really hope the change works for you ...

Specialist nurse roles are stressful in a different way to ward nursing. Autonomy in decision making is far higher, which brings rewards but can be hugely stressful. No one to hand over to and sometimes whole weekends of worrying about the decisions you made or the work left undone. Lots of unpaid overtime. But no nights or weekends, granted. I’ve been in the NHS for 30 years and just staying put as I’m invested in my pension and it’s difficult to retrain at this stage of life. If I could go back I would have listened to my instincts and not even completed the training. AHP pay is much better which I don’t understand, it’s disgusting how nurses are treated.

I'm thinking of leaving NHS. The toxic enviroment, pressure to work more and the appalling pay. The stupid tick box promotion system.

I enjoy working with my patients and the actual nursing part of it, I love. Its the culture and poor management thats making me want to leave. And I probably will in the new year.

the best interest assessor I know loves her job! She had burn out after nursing 7 years

I’ve been nursing for 30 years, and in primary care for 22 of them. I love my job. It has its moments but I work with great people, in decent conditions. Never encountered any bullying, get supported and have acquired so many additional qualifications.

The money is shit for what I do (we aren’t paid by AfC) but I don’t work nights, bank holidays or weekends (apart from the odd flu or Covid clinic). It’s pressured, relentless and stressful but nothing like secondary care. I wouldn’t go back into a hospital for all the tea in China.

Don’t write off nursing completely. And students, don’t panic! It’s not all bad. You just need to find your place. There’s an assumption that nursing is all about secondary care but it couldn’t be further from the truth. There are so many opportunities, you just need to step away from the expectation that you’ll work on the wards indefinitely.

@m1s
How about training as a health visitor? My friend did this, no nights/ weekends

Definitely not. The cuts have been horrific.

its Like the Wild West these days.

First time posting here.

Im fed up guys! The reality of this is it , is hitting hard.
I have 2 beautiful children 14 and 8 who are my world. A partner of 20 years and a lovely home.
I work in the NhS and I am struggling hard!!! I’ve been hospital based for 11 years then recently moved to community and I am really struggling to adapt.
working full time, running a home, dinner, washing etc is really hard!
Having done shifts and mainly nights for most of my career it’s such a change and I really am getting overwhelmed! I physically and mentally don’t seem to cope well anymore!
Im thinking of speaking to my GP about how I’m feeling, as I’m wondering if I’m suffering with some anxiety and low mood but then I shake myself and tell myself to just suck it up and get on with it!
I feel completely miserable!
I think about returning to hospital but the reason for the move was because it was so busy and unsafe that I was worried and frustrated most shifts! Community just brings its own set of anxieties and I don’t seem to be able to switch off from it!
Helpp! Am I going insane!!?

@Naq I think you need to create a post for advice. Full time with 2 kids is a lot. Could you reduce your hours? Outpatients in a hospital is like a dream very easy. What about GP surgery.