Desperate for work at 59

[Pinkypong]

Please help.
im 59 and desperate for work. I’ve had the odd shop job. I don’t have any skills, years ago I did design, well I can do design but my photoshop and illustrator skills let me down.
im supposed to retire and I can’t, ever I don’t think.
is it ridiculous to apply to be a teacher? By the time I get in the course I’ll be 60.so that’s stupid, I’d have to do maths o level too.
what can I do? Is there some sort of help out there? Are there courses? Not degree but just something to get me into a job. I’m so stuck and lost and anxious. It’s causing massive riffs between me and Dh. I don’t know how I got to this age without a job, I get the odd bit of freelance but it doesn’t last. I’m too anxious to think straight.

Only that he has a difficult job and works from home sometimes. He can’t cope with noise and random ness.

OP I think you would be looking after the kids in their own home rather than yours in the suggestion Mimosa made.

Sorry, thank you.
im still a puddle of anxiety. I need to be able to copy type.

Nannying would be better than childminding anyway because it would get you out of your husband's company!!

You said you want to do art & design. Whatever you choose to do jobwise, how about setting up a small business selling artwork or graphics prints as a side hustle? If it happens to do well then you could grow it into teaching. Not something to pin all your hopes on or take up all your time each week, but maybe grabbing a little bit of something "for you" might be good for you mentally.

Thanks Maslinka. I think that sounds lovely. And yes, I think it would be good for me mentally.
I have tried this over the years and usually Dh isn’t too encouraging. I’m ashamed to say I don’t let myself do it any more. Once I get a job I can justify it as a side hustle. It is good for me mentally. Maybe I put too much pressure on myself. Dh came crashing in as I was fulfilling orders to tell me it would never make money. Now I find myself too anxious to do anything in case it never makes money. Horrible to feel so stuck and anxious!

Any updates?

Two interviews! Thanks for asking! I fluffed the one to be a kitchen assistant in a hospital, I don’t think I looked the part, clutching my handbag on my knee in my borrowed jacket and being terrified, but good practise!
I have one next week, so fingers crossed. i can’t say what as I don’t want to jinx it! But am applying for anything and everything something must hit!
im slowly learning to decode the civil servant jibs descriptions, am doing various online courses and have an interview to volunteer for cab as suggested by a pp. so nothing concrete yet. But the anti depressants have kicked in! What a difference. Now feel normaler not such a puddle of nerves.
im also so chuffed that you have all taken the time to come up with suggestions and encouragement.
thank you.

We’ll done!

Well done for starting to make some moves. My heart has been racing reading this, you have my sympathy. I am not surprised in the least that you have a lot of anxiety, DH sounds extremely unsupportive and difficult. He wants you to jump into a career role, but not this and not that....it does sound controlling, if not abusive. What are his good points? Well done for taking the sertraline and I'm glad you can feel the difference already, That arm tingling is horrible, isn't it! Please stop putting him first...

It's good that you had this first interview to get the nerves allayed and you have a better skill set than that needs. Teacher training may be unrealistic but there could be related work that you have the experience for already. Supermarkets are looking for seasonal employees at the moment, just to get you doing something for now.

Aw, am just procrastinating while looking on indeed and am touched by your posts, thank you!
I find it tricky to be assertive as Dh will just go on forever until he gets his own way. He’s just spent loads on something I really don’t think we need but hey Ho. Iafter a bit there’s no point, he won’t see my point, he’ll just say ,’get a job’ I think once I do get a job the balance will be a bit better.
his good points are..he works hard, and loves his family umm, actually it’s easy to fall into the trap of moaning. He does a very difficult job and has a long drive so is always knackered. Which means he is missing out chatting with and going places with the teens.
actually I just talked to a counsellor who said that’s his choice. My choice is to be more assertive with what I want, ha! Easy to say, but again, until I have a job the balance is off. Right! Back to Indeed!
tho will just re read this thread first! Thank you all.

And yes, the arm twingling thing is awful!

Was your DH ok with you going for the interview for the kitchen assistant in the hospital? Did he think this was a 'proper job'?

I didn’t tell him just in case.

writing this as a sort of interactive journal.
Dh heard me book an interview for a ‘not proper’ job. True it’s a bit of a mad job, but hey, it’s to get me interview practise and get some experience in something. He Got cross. Have I no self respect? Get a job that uses my talents, do maths and be a teacher. Have a plan, stop playing games. You’re applying to jobs like that because you’re playing games with me. You have a degree, get a job in what you used to do. Go into town and do data programming ( his mum did this and he always mentions it).
when I suggested being a teacher a million years ago he got cross. Then somehow decided it’s what I should be doing.
a few weeks ago it was ‘just get a job.’ Now he’s denying that.
this In earshot of 14 yr old ds. I’m now supposed to go and help them both do some project that Dh is doing with ds.
I came in from my Friday morning job full of beans because my students had said really nice things. Now I’m all I don’t know, confused? Wobbly? Certainly not feeling confident.

This is what posters have been telling you op. Your H is actively sabotaging you. Everything you go for he finds fault with. Not having a job isn't good enough either. The one you have isn't good enough.

He's abusing you. It's no wonder you are anxious.

He won't ever support you. It's not how life should be.

thanjsnsquishy and everyone else! You have generously helped me through a crappy few weeks.
I got a call today, and ….I’ve Got A Job!!!!!! Better still Dh approves. I’m not sur he realises quite how much his life will change. He’s already said he’s earning more than me, so he doesn’t need to do housework and we ‘ll get a cleaner. That makes me feel..a bit crap somehow.
anyway, I Have A Job. Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!! I get to talk to adults, make friends and Get OuT Of The House. Go meee! And thank you everyone xxxxxx💐💐💐💐💐

Go girl!! 🌺🌺🌺

Congratulations!

Every time you post he sounds more awful.

Congratulations @Pinkypong . Well done you.

Thank yoooo!
yes klarwen, and squishy I guess he’s just anxious about money ( but even I’m thinking that mantra is getting a bit tired).
The good news is now I have a job,( yay) I can hand over half the house chores ( right) get on with my side hustles/hobbies, and laugh when he realises it’s Not Very Well Paid. Mwah ha ha!

Do you love your DH? Do you actually want to be with him? He sounds like my idea of living hell.

Look at the Environment Agency. We employ many older people and have many "project support" roles where no experience is required (some via Brook St, some as direct employees). In my last time I worked with a woman who hadn't worked for 25 years to bring up a family, who was superb at her job. Essentially admin/secretarial for a project team, but her organisational skills were superb.I imagine other public bodies may be similar.

Ooh ibiza I will, thank you. I’m hoping this job will get me started. Will definitely look into the environmental agency. Thank you for the tip!

shiningstarr I don’t know is the honest answer. He’s flawed, but so am I. I can see an imaginary page turning to a new chapter, like a fairytale film!
hes very pleased I’ve got this job ( he’s telling his friend how pleased he is for me at the moment) and is very happy it’s more ‘me’ - I should think our relationship will evolve. I also think I’ll evolve, I’m looking forward to that!

Just looked at environmental agency, no jobs where I am, but gosh, what an interesting thing to get involved in. I guess now I’m feeling a bit more confident I can keep an eye open.

thank you everyone!

i hope you will be happy, for yourself

That’s lovely, thank you mrslarge
youve hit a nerve because I rather think I’m trying to find me again, like a lot of women. X