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Original poster

Desperate for work at 59

255 replies

Pinkypong · 06/10/2022 13:29

Please help.
im 59 and desperate for work. I’ve had the odd shop job. I don’t have any skills, years ago I did design, well I can do design but my photoshop and illustrator skills let me down.
im supposed to retire and I can’t, ever I don’t think.
is it ridiculous to apply to be a teacher? By the time I get in the course I’ll be 60.so that’s stupid, I’d have to do maths o level too.
what can I do? Is there some sort of help out there? Are there courses? Not degree but just something to get me into a job. I’m so stuck and lost and anxious. It’s causing massive riffs between me and Dh. I don’t know how I got to this age without a job, I get the odd bit of freelance but it doesn’t last. I’m too anxious to think straight.

OP posts:
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 07/10/2022 22:05

He wants you to get a job but when you had one made it difficult for you to go, same when studying but you say he was no good at childcare

He's sabotaged your attempts yet is making you feel bad for not having a job

declutteringmymind · 07/10/2022 22:12

The fact that he keeps badgering you to get a job when you're obviously struggling with your anxiety, and expecting you to come up with a career.

Also, you're afraid of him and his reactions.

SquishyGloopyBum · 07/10/2022 22:14

To be honest, the state you are in you aren't really going to be able to properly do an application for a job. You are too anxious to do it at the moment.

Your H is abusive for the reasons others have clearly stated. He's sabotaging you. Having a go at your for everything.

Original poster
Pinkypong · 07/10/2022 22:25

Thanks .he doesn’t remember sabotaging anything. and now I doubt myself.
I just know whatever I got wasn’t good enough. But that doesn’t help me now!

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Original poster
Pinkypong · 07/10/2022 22:44

I keep re reading this and waking in a panic. Hope the sertraline works, day 4.
it’s been an awful few months.

OP posts:
forevercooking · 07/10/2022 23:16

beguilingeyes · 06/10/2022 19:34

Seriously, NHS Bank is excellent. You can do as many days as suits you and there is lots of admin to be done.

Are these bank admin roles?

DirectionToPerfection · 08/10/2022 00:38

Pinkypong · 07/10/2022 22:25

Thanks .he doesn’t remember sabotaging anything. and now I doubt myself.
I just know whatever I got wasn’t good enough. But that doesn’t help me now!

What do you mean when you say "he doesn't remember"? He's not going to admit to sabotaging you.

Can you see that nothing you do is ever good enough? He complains when you don't have a job, but then finds ways to discourage you when you do have a job. Then berating you when it doesn't work out. Those are not the actions of a decent man.

He will constantly find a reason to put you down, not because you deserve it (you don't) but because of his insecure and controlling nature.

Have you heard of the Freedom Programme?

Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 01:42

Hello I’m trying to fit his actions to your words.
I got the morning job, against a lot of competition and I had to put my foot down, and insist I was taking it. He tends to yell at me before I go. So it’s difficult especially when it was new and scary.
but this is beacause he doesn’t want me wasting my time, he wants me to have a proper career job. He sees me as not trying, too cushy. He says if he wasn’t here I’d get a job quickly.
hes really cross that I lost this proper job. Yet the other day when I asked him to help tidy he said, Get a job and you can get a cleaner. It’s like he was disparaging or had forgotten.
Is this what you mean?

OP posts:
mellongoose · 08/10/2022 02:47

He sounds a bit mean. You're supposed to be a partnership, but he's barking orders at you.

You need some head space away from his yapping so you can decide what path is right for you.

mellongoose · 08/10/2022 02:48

Ps. Congratulations on the morning job 👏

Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 02:53

Hey mellongoose, thankyou!

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Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 03:01

Groogh, can’t sleep anxiety , I’ve heard of the freedom programme I’ll look it up

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Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 03:19

Ironically I’ve got the book. Not sure it helped as the examples in it are much more extreme. I think my Dh just wants a wife that works and does the housework

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MumofSpud · 08/10/2022 03:22

I have become a teacher this year - am 50!
I also had to redo my Maths GCSE this year - that was a new kind of hell but I did it Grin(exam was online and I did my own revision rather than do a course but that was because I wanted to get it over and done with!)
Why not start with that? And apply for LSA roles so you can see if you actually like the school environment?

Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 03:27

Because I’m 59 and will be 60 when I pass maths. It’s just so old. And 61 by the time I pass teaching I think? Congratulations by the way.

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Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 03:29

Oh this is horrible. I keep going over and over in my head what I did wrong in this job to cock it up. I really wish I hadn’t.

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Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 03:32

Is it even possible to train to be a teacher at 59? It would be a good career

OP posts:
Shunkleisshiny · 08/10/2022 03:49

I work for the NHS in admin, and ward clerks are always needed. As someone else said there is no age discrimination, in fact most of the ward clerks I work with are in their fifties. The qualities they bring to the job do not need qualifications as such, a basic knowledge of computers obviously but the NHS train you on their system.
Common sense, empathy and life experience go a long way.
Good luck with your endeavours, you can do this!

Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 03:51

Oh that sounds good, thank you I’ll definitely look into that. I am sure I could do stuff. Just everything seems overwhelming at the moment!

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Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 05:22

Another night not sleeping, and sheer panic this is horrible

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MrsLargeEmbodied · 08/10/2022 06:53

do you work every morning or just one morning?

SouthernFashionista · 08/10/2022 07:09

Oh OP your husband has really done a number on you. Classic case of knocking your confidence and leading to all this self doubt. You sound wonderful. Your problem is not you and your apparent lack of experience (you have ample experience) but your husband. It’s no way to live. I would suggest calling Women’s Aid for practical guidance on how to move on without this aggressive bully in your life. X

Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 07:11

Just one morning. It’s a tutor job.
shunkleisshiney, I can’t see anything on the nhs website, well one role that needs copy audio typing . They always need something I haven’t got.
feeling very despondent. I’ve been doing this for years it seems and not getting anywhere. I honestly think I’m a waste of space. Dh will want to know my plan, it’s non existent!
I know a bit of photoshop etc but not enough to be a designer, I should update photoshop, illustrator, Indesign.
learn Microsoft
vanish from the Earth

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Original poster
Pinkypong · 08/10/2022 07:19

southern fashionista thank you! I’m so needy at the moment it’s ridiculous and it’s very nice to hear from you. I need to know what all that experience is! I’m looking and don’t seem to be able to do any of the jobs advertised at all. I did wonder about woman’s aid, I had a different thread and a few people mentioned it, which shocked me.
im not being abused though, Dh just wants me to work.

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 08/10/2022 07:22

i am sure you could do copy typing?
how about a clothes shop/boutique?
how are you with customer service?