Desperate for work at 59

[Pinkypong]

Please help.
im 59 and desperate for work. I’ve had the odd shop job. I don’t have any skills, years ago I did design, well I can do design but my photoshop and illustrator skills let me down.
im supposed to retire and I can’t, ever I don’t think.
is it ridiculous to apply to be a teacher? By the time I get in the course I’ll be 60.so that’s stupid, I’d have to do maths o level too.
what can I do? Is there some sort of help out there? Are there courses? Not degree but just something to get me into a job. I’m so stuck and lost and anxious. It’s causing massive riffs between me and Dh. I don’t know how I got to this age without a job, I get the odd bit of freelance but it doesn’t last. I’m too anxious to think straight.

I don’t know how I got to this age without a job,

because people enabled you to do just that.

Why do you want work now when you've managed for 34 years without a job? Genuine question.

If you have severe anxiety see you GP and get that addressed for a start.

Then you can start looking at options.

I did have a brilliant career before kids. It went down hill after that.

what ws your career op?

I did have a brilliant career before kids

So how did you have a career when you say you had no skills ?

Genuine question.

I worked as a creative thinking of ideas for a small advertising company.

We moved several times and I lost contacts and confidence.

im too old to get back into it, it’s a very young business. And it didn’t teach me anything practical like admin!

You'll do great OP. It's a confidence thing.

Here is a bit of blurb from the Gov website (apologies if it's already been added) about the Lifetime Skills Guarantee. The idea is that people can get free skills and qualifications throughout their adult life, for just this situation.

www.gov.uk/government/news/hundreds-of-free-qualifications-on-offer-to-boost-skills-and-jobs

Deep breath. What do you want your days to look l Iike? See this as a an opportunity. It feels scary, but can you turn scary into excitement? You're better than you think you are x

I think a lot of your panic could be side effects from the sertraline. Apparently it's really anxiety-inducing for the first few weeks, so that might explain the tingly arms, etc.

Oh gosh, thank you mellongoose just need to get through this. I’m avoiding Dh as he will yell, ‘what are you going to do? What’s the plan? You’ve got such woolly thinking ‘ which just turns me into a quivering wreck.
I just want to curl up and die. I’ve got class this morning then a medical scan, woo! So it’s a testing day. Oh this anxiety! I so wish I’d not lost the job, life would be so different. I I got a job setting up something but it was soon obvious that she needed someone with experience so I lasted a month. It is such a blow.

Thanks doingjustfine I’m getting dry heaves as well. I’m in a state! It’s day 3 of sertraline.

This is how you respond to every suggestion.

Your husband is never going to approve of anything you do for yourself. He's a selfish abusive twat and the best thing you could do to change your life (and improve your anxiety etc) is leave him. Everything else is just badly papering over the cracks

Your husband sounds worse the more you post about him. It's not normal or healthy to yell and stomp at your partner for not having the kind of job you want them to. It's not normal or healthy for them to sabotage whatever job you do manage to get.

I'm not surprised you're feeling anxious and have lost your confidence, it sounds like you've been subjected to years of bullying from your DH.

B & Q actively look to recruit people your age (considered more reliable,mature etc).

They also have a management programme which you may be eligible for after a while.

Your husband is an abusive bastard who has been gaslighting you for years.

You should reassess the relationship. At the very least you should stop caring what he thinks.

Are you scared of him? Has he ever been violent?

I think the best course of action is:

• Get help with your anxiety. The medication is a good start, combine this with CBT or counselling.

• Get a job that suits you, not your husband.

• Get a divorce. Stop letting him treat you like shit.

Hello, oh it’s so nice to hear from you.
Dh did kick off this morning as predicted and refused to take teens to dentist as He’s too busy earning the money.
he’s just asked what am I going to do, and he wants to know specifically what job and if it’s full time. which is fair enough.

Off to do the Washing up, I’d very much like to answer your posts later. I’m finding the abuse thing challenging. Maybe I’m just making excuses? If it was a bloke and I’d yelled at him to get a decent job instead of just childminding wouldn’t that be different?

I'm really sorry but your DH sounds abusive.

He's obviously sick of being the breadwinner, understandably, and at a time where you both should be planning retirement instead of restarting your career.

Tell him he needs to be patient and encouraging.

For me, any job is better than no job and you have to start somewhere. You're fortunate in that that are just as many jobs at the moment as there are unemployed people so I'd say book an appointment at the job centre and take it from there. Get on linkd in, glassdoor etc, even put a post out on Facebook and get the word out amongst friends and family that you are looking for something. They might know you better than you know yourself and suggest something appropriate.

Tell your DH to back the hell off, jobs don't appear overnight.

No, it wouldn't be different. Abuse is abuse.

Thank you.
oh my goodness that’s set me off again. I’m so anxious I really can’t cope. I don’t know what to do, it’s all too much.Chatting stuff through with Dh is very difficult and my anxiety Sky rockets when teen mentions college. I don’t think I can do this. Just calmly labelling something abuse doesn’t help!

How does he expect you to get a proper job if you have never worked? If I were you I'd train to be a chiropodist. People do that well into their 60s. I had a couple of people train with me who were in their 60s. Do one year post grad in the NHS then go private. I do nhs because I like the buzz but when I worked for myself privately I earned 5k a month before tax. I worked hard though. Look into courses.

Get medication for anxiety. I take it daily and I'm a different person now.

I agree
I retired at 58 after having worked in admin. Got a pt job in Matalan- really loved it and fab colleagues- something like that might suit you?

decluttering my mind and others what makes you say Dh sounds abusive?

More importantly what can I do?