Longterm sickness, need to resign

[Alldelicious]

DS is employed on a 4 year apprenticeship, coming to the end of the 3rd year. Started at 16.

His father was diagnosed with a terminal illness at the start of y2 and died towards the end of year2

DS did very well in year 1, but the wheels have come off since then. He kept telling us all was well, but it became apparent 4 months ago that he hadn't coped at all well and was seriously behind at work and college. Hadn't been turning up much for either. He has since been off sick since, engaging well with treatment, you can see a marked improvement. However, he reamind bery anxious at the prosect of returning and he has gained a good university place for September.

Therefore he needs to leave the job. They're still paying him in full, but the only contact he's had in this time is to chase up doctors certificates.

Obviously he let himself down, I feel that I let him down by not noticing sooner how badly he was coping, but I also feel that the employer has failed him. He was 17 when his "trauma" began, wfh (covid) with very little contact from work, his mentor went on ML and the replacement was allocated from another city, but wfh. They never met and hardly spoke. Company knew about the bereavement.

Then when things started going wrong, there doesn't appear to have been any response or support from employer or college. There have been staff changes at college too and no one seems to be able to tell us exactly what he has (or hasn't) passed.

The difference in the way this (large) company responded and my own employer did, for example, is huge.

So,

• He could just leave it, keep getting signed off until they stop paying him. This doesn't seem like a good lesson for him, but I kind of feel it's what they deserve after deserting a grieving 17/18 yo.

• We could have an attempt at negotiating some sort of settlement. I think this might be possible, they'll want to solve this problem as much as we do and they can't deny there have been failings albeit, DS has failed too.

• He could just give his 4 weeks' notice. This feels like the right thing to do, but I don't know if it sells him short. It's the straightforward option, but I do feel the company should have to face their own shortcomings too.

Obviously any cash he can secure now will help while he studies.

WWYD?

Anyone?

Four weeks' notice: that will bring him up to the beginning of university term, won't it? And he can't hold on to a job and apply for student finance at the same time?

From what you've said it's not certain he has any case against them. I wouldn't drag him through the stress of a complaint when he's at fault to any extent himself. Let him have a fresh start.

That's a good point about the student finance. No idea why I didn't think of that! He's applied on the assumption that he'll have no income.

Yes 4 weeks to the start of term, which is why he needs to do "something" now.

I wasn't thinking of a claim as such, more a negotiated exit.

I’m not entirely sure what the company should have done differently given they are paying him sick leave & not pressuring him to return.

Has he had contact with occupational health? Did they signpost their EAP to him?

I’ve had time off for bereavement (as stress leave) and apart from my manager checking in occasionally it was really up to me to manage my recovery and return.

He could just give his 4 weeks' notice.

i think he should do this. He clearly has no intention of going back and had no intention for some time given the Uni application.

It's not so much when he's been off, but no one did anything or offered any support when it was clear he was struggling at work and college. That went on for months, with him not submitting work or turning up and no one did anything. They didn't even tell me (and he was under 18 at the time).

Of course it's mostly down to him, but I do think he's been badly managed too. It could probably have been turned around if he'd been supported earlier.

You wouldn't expect the company to be checking in on him at all during a 4 month absence? Mine did.

The uni application is very last minute. The place was only offered last week.

I think he should give 4 weeks notice and ask for an exit interview with HR. In that interview he can outline what support he needed or would have benefited him during his sick leave. I think trying to negotiate a exit package is a bit money grabbing. Essonne can and should be learned but that doesn't mean lining your /his pockets in the process.

I’m not sure what you’d want out of a ‘negotiated exit’ if ‘a claim’. I agree with PPs that being off for a long time on full pay is a good deal for your son, and trying to get anything else is both cheeky and unrealistic.

They are an employer not a parent, they've fulfilled the legal obligations I dont understand the expectation of more.

Id say he should give the notice and go, will look better on a cv and future employment references that way too.

I've been on the other side of this often in a long career. No one on long term sick ever leaves the public sector without some sort of payoff IME.

How did he get a good uni place if he's not been going to college or work and he's failed everything?

You might want to approach the universities students support to see what help they can offer DS. Transition to university can be hard without everything else going on.

I'm not going to give loads of personal info, but he's gone a non standard route, he wrote an excellent personal statement that included details of his circumstances, used examples of things he'd done in and out of work before he was ill and he must have given a good interview. As I said, he was doing very well until his dad was ill and had some really qualiry work to fall back on.

Yes, we're on that, thank you.

I’m not sure why the company would negotiate a settlement, it doesn’t sound like they have done anything wrong. If your som wants to resign by the time he starts uni he’d be best to get on with it now or they might hold him to contract and he might not be available to start uni in a months time.

HR here - I'm curious to know why you think they'd offer a settlement ?

I think that really only applies to people in a “proper” job, and generally with a lot of service who gets managed out, I don’t think it applies to apprentices.
Just get him to give his 4 weeks notice and look forward to his fresh start and future

Why would he need a negotiated exit? Just give 4 weeks notice.

@Alldelicious not in my experience. Plenty have tried for a payoff, but not many get them unless it's medical retirement. I've seen a bullying case with sexual harassment fail to get a paid exit - it's not an obligation to pay off.

He's signed off sick, so whilst I agree in principle, which part of the contract are they going to hold him to?

I would have expected any pastoral support to have come from the college not the work place. Whilst your workplace may well have checked in on you, you are probably a valuable, long term employee with roots and connections within the company not a lad on an apprenticeship they've barely met. Just get him to hand in his notice and chalk it up to a poor experience and have a clean break.

Make sure to get DS to contact student support at Uni, MH issues often peak around university age for men, and that is for those without previous trauma and bereavement so he needs to talk about coping strategies and get support in place before he goes.

I don't mean a big compensation payment or anything like that, but IME PILON, for example is common.