Almost 55 and finding full time work exhausting - is it just me?

[Strumpetpumpet]

I’ve been in my current role for less than a year and I’m just finding it too much - I’m not sleeping well, constantly waking up remembering stuff I’ve not done and/or worrying about work, regularly forgetting things and feel I’m doing a rubbish job. I’m seriously considering looking for something less well paid (ie lower grade) and part time. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety (tbh I’ve probably had it all y life, but we didn’t used to diagnose things like that) I’m also on HRT but it’s not been the miracle cure I’d hoped. I look around at friends who have really stressful jobs and wonder how they cope. Does anyone else around my age feel the same, or am I just a massive failure 😢?

@rainuntilseptember , judging from this thread older staff are past it. Riddled with anxiety and brain fog.

I feel exactly the same , the only saving grace is that I am mostly working from home. I couldn't manage getting up and going to work five days a week

I think it is great that women in this thread can be honest about this rather than try to pretend that everything is OK.

When I was 45 I had some major health issues and had several surgeries over a period of two years. I lost a lot of my energy and had to learn to live with a long term condition.

I must say my interest in office work started grinding to a halt from then on.

I have had part-time role since but still found them exhausting. I started HRT recently and at least this has given me a lot of my energy back and I can sleep much better.

But I also think that when you become older you also start to reassess your life and see through the futility of many jobs: the endless meetings, the useless manager, the admin, employers that use you and expect you to work overtime and put your job above everything else.

Having health issues made it very clear to me that life is short and I have no interest of spending it commuting and dragging myself to an office to do a pointless job that lives me so wiped out I can't even enjoy the life I have left.

I am planning on continuing to work only in part-time, remote roles and I turn down anything that has unrealistic expectations and targets. I also no longer make work a priority in my life.

I'm 44 and already thinking I cannot do this until I retire at 68. Every couple of years my role doubles in size and accountability, it's insane.

I'm 55, self employed and work about 50-60 hrs a week
Plan is to retire at 60.
I quite enjoy what I do, I built my company up from scratch. Another 5 years will be enough. I have a huge amount of responsibility & everything falls on my shoulders.

I had a tricky three years a couple of years ago whereby I kept being put in a role which I hated and absolutely exhausted me , mentally and sometimes, physically.

It escalated my IBS and I ended up having to take a few weeks off.
I had union involvement to address the issues and my bosses were forced to adhere to my job description.
It was such a relief but , youve guessed it, I was persona non grata with my superiors.

I lasted one more year then 'retired' but I was exceptionally lucky to be in a position to be able to.
I was 57.

I'm 52 and never went back to ft when DS got older. I do 30 hrs over 4 days which is enough for me. Thankfully my private pensions should give me enough to finish my reasonably stressful office job at 60 and perhaps do something very part time like shop or cafe work for a couple of years to ease me into retirement and keep my income up until I qualify for state pension at 67.

I don't feel ready for the scrap heap just yet, but I hate having to pretend that I don't find early starts and stressful meetings hard going these days.

YANBU. There's nothing about this post which says, 'failure'. I expect you have worked full-time for many years. I am in my 40s and work 4 days per week. I have a friend who works 18 hours and another friend who works two days per week. None of us have children. There are some health issues, caring responsibilities, one of us is doing a Masters. But essentially we were all sick of full-time work. For now anyway. Doesn't have to be forever. On the flip side I know a group of friends in their late 60s. All work at least full-time hours, some have two jobs!!

@OberthursGrizzledSkipper thanks for your perspective!

Having worked full time since I was 16 I am tired of it as well. Only have a couple of years left when I can retire and can't wait.

Change jobs, it's simply not worth it. I changed jobs/careers last year at 43 after 10 years in my old place. You're not too old, it's not too late.

No it's not just you. I am in my mid fifties. Post menopause, with creaking arthritic joints and have a job which involves lots of walking and standing about.

After each working day I am truly knackered. Couldn't do going out after work and socialising like I did when I was a young woman.

At least one of my days off has to be devoted to recovery : pottering around the house and resting.

I realise that I have to prioritise exercise (swimming) and stretching to cope with the demands of my job.

Thank you so much all for your messages, and my sympathies to those of you who feel the same and especially those who don’t have the options I do, I know I am fortunate. Reading your responses I’ve realised there is an element of feeling tired of the futility of some of the tasks we have to do at work, and realising as I get older that there is more to life than work (or at least, there should be!) xx

I'm much the same. Similar age. Bad anxiety and chronic fatigue syndrome. Only managing to do 1.5 days work
Per week. However DP very unsupportive. I'm worried about my financial future.

Definitely not in your own, I have been doing 39hrs/week for the past 4 years and at nearly 53 its more than enough.

As it happens I have just given up my job as I'm relocating to live with my DP and selling my house. I plan to expand my side hustle which will provide an adequate income. I don't have a private pension either but I'm so done with working for a big organisation and just want to be my own boss.

I'm 55 now and dropped a day in the new year as just felt so tired juggling elderly parents with health issues etc and full time work.
I have missed the money but glad I made the decision and my employer supported me.

@Strumpetpumpet

I'm 42
Peri menopausal
2 young kids

I could have written this

I do 30 hours and it's too much but we need the money 💰 unfortunately

I feel like I am likely to die before I retire I'll be honest it's horrendous

Don't underestimate the effect that peri/menopause has on some women's health. I started having hormonal problems late 30s. Was told not peri-menopause at this age as hormone levels were checked. Maybe endometriosis. However, I had brain fog, memory loss, couldn't sleep and wss wired, developed middle-aged spread. Struggled on at work until I was at breaking point then saw a gynaecologist and went on a low dose combined contraceptive pill. Everything improved however that job was ruined for me and I have moved on. My memory still isn't as sharp as it used to be. I struggle to learn new things.

Previous manager in my new job wss menopausal and seemingly had no memory capacity left at all. She jokef about it daily but it really made her working life, and ours, very difficult. She was on HRT too.

Do not under any circumstances feel guilty about reducing your hours. You have earned it.

There are so many variables. Some jobs are more physical and/or stressful, some people can outsource house jobs more, some sail through menopause, some have had some years away from paid work and may feel “fresher”.

Same here. Hrt used to help but it doesn’t any more despite trying different variations. It can be really hard to access the right hrt. When I started work retirement was at 60. Now it will be 68. That is a huge difference and retirement won’t be what it was.

You are one of the lucky ones. No reason you can't be judged on your own merits. If you aren't struggling at work then you shouldn't be having any issues.

Just seen this thread and so wanted to agree with you all. I am 'Totally Exhausted' from working all life since 16. So now for the rant to let off stream..... No apprenticeships to gain quals etc available when I left school, good old - use you for £25 a week YTS with nothing to show after 2 years maximum term. No paid for maternity payments in most companies and no gov payout for maternity then, husband had to keep you, & job not saved but lost. Go find a new one. No free child care available when I had kids years ago so had to be paid out of wages. Then to become a single mum but still worked full time to save the embarrassment and sitgma of being a scrounging single mum. Worked hard paid our way looking forward to 60. Goal post moved 67 now. No free bus pass at 60 either. Contributions all paid up at 53 but now paying for all the freebies I never got. No menopausal understanding in the work place till last few years, so keep it quiet, nip the toilets to cool down a flush or to cry. Keep the British stiff upper lip, don't want to be a weak woman in a man's proffesional world. Am I tired? used by the system and workplaces? and fed up? Yes I am. But no work place pension to help me out. Keep working.. 67 may arrive one day.

I’m now retired my advice is drop a day if you can afford to and have your NWD as a Wednesday. This way you only ever do 2 days in a row. Most BH fall on a Monday so take 1 days leave and on BH weekends you finish on a Friday and go back in the following Thursday.

If you can’t afford a 20% drop look at doing 4 x 8 hour days.

Use a gross to net calculator and you should find your net salary doesn’t drop as much as you would think.

I'm 55 next month and have dropped a day in my teaching job. I'm now not working on a Friday which means I can take advantage of a long weekend.

We are keeping our cleaner on who comes on a Tuesday and are downsizing too to get rid of the mortgage so this gives more options.

I'm 55 next month and have just gone down from 5 days to 4. I'm
a primary school teacher.

I'm shattered! Often I'm awake for 2 hours during the night - goodness knows why?

We're also downsizing so I can potentially drop more days or even retire.

How people are expected to work to 67+ who knows.