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Original poster

Amazing job offer...childcare issues!

88 replies

livingthesimplelife · 08/08/2022 19:46

Hi everyone,

Looking for some Mumsnet wisdom here.

I have been offered a job with a salary almost double my current one. It also offers innumerable opportunities to progress etc...basically, a really good job that I can't turn down!

But my quandary is that I am a single parent to a child starting school in Sep. Can anyone tell me how they work flexible hours in their full-time job, or give me some suggestions to go to the manager with. Do you think proposing working 9-3 and then 7-9 with the caveat that I can be around for meetings etc. outside of these times if necessary is totally unreasonable? I could use a breakfast club too (and an after-school club but slightly reluctant to use this)

OP posts:
Dalaidramailama · 08/08/2022 19:49

Why are you reluctant to use the before and after school clubs? They’re invaluable when you work full time. I guess you could try and negotiate though with your current proposal. Best of luck.

LionessesRules · 08/08/2022 19:59

Guess it depends on the role. It wouldnt work in my job, so I'd use breakfast and after-school club.
Maybe see if you can get one or 2 early afternoons a week to collect from school.

CPHB2021 · 08/08/2022 20:03

I was in a similar quandary, though salary wasn't double it was a big chunk. I agreed on relying on the school wrap around Mon-Thurs and on Fridays I start late and finish early to accommodate the school run and play dates etc that happen usually on Fridays. It is so far working well, though I do sometimes feel guilty that DS is in wrap around care, the salary increase was non negotiable to our quality of life, especially with the cost of living going up. X

titchy · 08/08/2022 20:04

Use the after school club - that's what they're for. When you've started and understand more about how your role fits and the culture of the employer, then see if you can have some flexibility to do one or two days a week pick up.

But if it's such a good opportunity don't blow it.

OutDamnedSpot · 08/08/2022 20:06

Just use the before and after school clubs and work ‘normal’ hours. Your DC will get used to it (mine loved it!) and you’ll have your evenings to yourself.

Overthebow · 08/08/2022 20:06

Definitely use the after school club. You could try asking for flexible hours to finish early a couple of days a week, but asking for every day when you’re only just starting seems a bit much.

RNBrie · 08/08/2022 20:07

I work from home on Mondays and Fridays so i can do school drop off and I finish early on a Friday so I can do pick up.

The rest of the time they go to breakfast and after school club. Works great for us. If you want to minimise wrap around care can your partner request flexible working?

Elsanore · 08/08/2022 20:08

Get a nice childminder to do before and after school and some of the holidays.

I work full time with a child the same age as yours and it works perfectly.

redskyatnight · 08/08/2022 20:09

You'll run yourself ragged if you try to do it without clubs.
I'd either suggest dropping child off at breakfast club as soon as it opens so you can start work as soon as possible and hence pick them up as early as possible so you still have time to spend with them in the afternoon/evening OR not bothering with breakfast club and start work after you've dropped your child at school OR work some unequal length days so that you can pick your child up from school at least once a week.

I used to work 8.15-4.15 which worked really well for me. But the after school club was inexpensive. Childcare costs of course need consideration!

MissMaple82 · 08/08/2022 20:09

You use the breakfast and aftershock care obviously, if you're not prepared to, then don't expect the job. Simple really

WhatInFreshHell · 08/08/2022 20:11

RNBrie · 08/08/2022 20:07

I work from home on Mondays and Fridays so i can do school drop off and I finish early on a Friday so I can do pick up.

The rest of the time they go to breakfast and after school club. Works great for us. If you want to minimise wrap around care can your partner request flexible working?

The OP said in her post that she's a single parent.

NothingIsWrong · 08/08/2022 20:11

You can't do the job without proper care. Mine have done breakfast and after school on three days, and I do slightly shorter hours on two days to do drop off and pick up. I reduced my hours very slightly (34 instead of 37) to accommodate. Ends up as 3 x 8 hours and 2 x 5 hours

saddowizca · 08/08/2022 20:12

If the money is that good, could you find a nice childminder? They tend to be more flexible. Also my DD’s asc was fully booked when she started and we had to wait for ages to get a place.

CMOTDibbler · 08/08/2022 20:13

I'd book and use before/after school club - then if it works out some days that you can pick up early thats great, or you use any flexibility to be able to pop out from work for an assembly etc

HermioneWeasley · 08/08/2022 20:14

Definitely use the clubs - I’d be unimpressed with that request just because you don’t fancy using the clubs that every other working parent does!

hellololabells2019 · 08/08/2022 20:17

I work flexible hours and so work 7-10 each evening. Don't do it- it's awful.

Gardenista · 08/08/2022 20:20

MissMaple82 · 08/08/2022 20:09

You use the breakfast and aftershock care obviously, if you're not prepared to, then don't expect the job. Simple really

I agree with this - and I'm also a single parent to a child going into year 2 .

It's also easier for you to start as you mean to go on with school wrap around care, your child will be used to it as part of their school life. presumably they are used to long days at nursery?

It's a great opportunity - don't blow it by acting demanding from day 1. Give it 6 months and then you can request flexible working - when you have an idea of what other people have been granted.

With the cost of living going up you would be silly to blow this chance.

I use wrap around care - it's at the more expensive end at £7/hour but it's still financially worth it. I wouldn't sacrifice a great job to be able to do the school run - your child will make their own friends at school and you will meet the other parents at whole class parties etc.

Losingmydamnmind · 08/08/2022 20:21

It's my third week at home by myself with my 2 yo daughter and 5 week old son. I'm losing my mind. I haven't been able to put the baby down for more than 5 minutes for the last 5 hrs without her crying. The house is a total mess because I can't do anything without the baby crying. My poor daughter basically got thrown in the cot with a kiss because I didn't have time to do our lovely night routine and read her a book etc.

I know people do this all the time but how? I'm so upset I've done this to myself and had another baby. I don't know how I'm going to do this for another year at least. I'm frustrated every moment my husband isn't here. I love my son so much but I don't know how i will survive the next however many months. I'm miserable. Please tell me how you all do it?!?!?

ohyeahiwaittablestoo · 08/08/2022 20:23

What is your childcare situation now? If your child is already in nursery full time then breakfast/after school clubs won't seem too different?

Dalaidramailama · 08/08/2022 20:28

@Losingmydamnmind

Early days. It is tough having two close together. Honestly you will get through this ❤️. You will get into a routine I promise, it just takes time to adjust.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 08/08/2022 20:34

Wrap around care is what provides the support for working parents to keep
working. My youngest has just left primary school. DH and I are significantly more senior than we were when the eldest started.

ChampagneCommunist · 08/08/2022 20:35

Get proper childcare.

You won't do your job properly otherwise, risk pissing off your employer from day one & looking unreliable.

If you accept the job, accept all the terms; don't start messing around - your employer wants to employ you to work, not to give you something to do while your child is at school.

Sorry to sound harsh, but I make it clear in job ads what I want, and if someone accepts the job, that's what I expect them to do. The time to ask about flexibility is during the interview

Alarae · 08/08/2022 20:39

Depends on your employer. Mine would be more than happy to give the flexibility to do school runs as long as you made up your hours elsewhere. Caveat is that they expect flexibility from you as well, so on the off chance you have a work requirement during those hours you are expected to fit it in.

I pick up my daughter every day at 4pm and then work for an hour or so once she's home before logging off. No one bats an eyelid and many people do it from juniors to seniors.

kegofcoffee · 08/08/2022 20:43

Personally I'd use wrap around care on
2/3 days and then ask for altered hours the other days.

This also gives you a little bit of leeway if your child is off sick and you need to make up hours on other days.

magaluf1999 · 08/08/2022 20:47

Also your child wont go to bed at 7 for much longer. Time goes quickly. So 7-9 becomes 8-10 etc etc. you need time to relax of an evening even if its just 1 hour.

Use all of the childcare available. But aim to wfh one day. And pick up on a friday?

Don't talk yourself out of it. But also-ask them an open question. 'What sort of flexibility is available to me as a single working parent'? See what their response is. Its a different way of getting to what you want without submitting a list of demands. It you were coming in to my team it would be no issue for you to pick up one day a week for example and i wouldnt have you making up time. And some wfh wouldnt be an issue:

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