Do all well paid professionals work really hard long hours

[CheshireSplat]

Just feeling a bit battered. Took a step-up to a senior role 4 years ago and am well respected. Have been promoted a couple of times and salary has increased by about 50%. Which is great, but isn't what I planned!!! My responsibilities and workload have also increased significantly.

My DC are 9 and 6 and I'd like to spend more time with them. I'd also like to spend some time doing normal things, like doing more than 1000 steps a day and getting off my chair. I don't have time to tidy the house, which gets me down. I didn't sign up for a Big Job. And it's getting a bit much. I'm managing to resist doing much work at weekends but Monday morning to Friday night it is absolutely full on and I'm working at full pelt, from early til late.

Is this normal? There certainly seems to be an epidemic of busyness, or do people feel they have to say they are busy? I'm 44 and feel my life is passing me by.

I have an interview for a job in the NFP sector, similar role, big pay cut but we can cope, don't have extravagant lifestyle. Am I kidding myself if I think it would be different there?

I'm just rambling. Would love to see what others think..... Thank you. Problem is work is important to me, and I like a challenge.

Good for you OP. Best of luck.

Good work!

You are in the golden time of your children’s ages IMO, so soon they won’t be seen with you, won’t be bothered about family activities (in the same way).

Make the most of this time with them. The work and career will still be there in 5 years. The kids won’t be! They’ll be at a friends, online, doing homework etc etc. I am not saying give up your job, but quietly tread water.

I think you are right in leaving this job, you can set new parameters and standards for the next according to what works for you. I’m sure you will still do a good job but you will feel better (but avoid the NFP ones )

@shatterthosedreams

I work hard in a not badly paid but not exactly well paid job.

DH is on 100k, he works from home. He rolls out of bed around 9.15/10 several hours after I leave for work.

He takes a lot of naps throughout the day (WFH) if gaps between calls allow (which is usually every day) and finishes no later than 6, often much earlier.

He's v senior in IT.

This is pure anecdote so I have no idea if it's usual but I'm fairly sure I work a LOT harder than him for 1/4 of the income.

I could have written this post. DH doesn’t nap but has lots of walks,gardening time ,coffee breaks etc . It has been a real eye opener since he has been WFH .

Thank you everyone. I love Mumsnet sometimes

Just thought I'd update as I keep coming back to reread the advice on this thread.

I had the interview for the NFP job and it seemed to go well. Still couldn't quite make up my mind whether or not to take it if offered, partly given some of the stories on this thread.

At the end of last week I spoke off the record to our UK HR manager to say I was unhappy and considering looking elsewhere. Didn't tell her I had started looking. She said I would be a massive loss and that my employer would probably give me whatever I wanted to get me to stay, so we started discussing opportunities for job share etc., possibly promoting my no. 2 up a level and giving her some of the work I don't like. I'm on holiday this week and still had nightmares about this type of work on Tuesday night. I recruited my no 2 specifically because she has done this work for 10 years and enjoys it.

I then found out I didn't get the NFP job which was disappointing because I had decided I would take it. I've asked for feedback.

Since then, I've been reading about job shares and the different types of structures and I think parcelling up the various parts of my role and splitting them up could work, so I'll speak to my boss in the next week or so.

Thanks all.

Good news - do get in touch @CheshireSplat if I can be off help

I thought I'd update because I had so much good advice on this thread. I read and reread everything and it helped me soul search.

I carried on looking for new opportunities but was choosy. I pulled out of one process with a charity because the fit was obviously wrong. I then got a call about a NFP job in a quasi-governmental organisation which seems relatively well funded. To cut a long story short, they loved me! I wobbled a bit and withdrew from the process, they asked me back into the process and I got the offer a week ago. It seems a really good opportunity, so much chance to do something that really resonates, lots of annual leave, a "gentle" culture. I've handed in my notice at work, and all my stakeholders have said how sorry they are I'm going but they understand apart from one senior colleague who said I'm probably getting out at the right time because the next couple of years are going to be a bit shit .

So a big smile on my face, an opportunity to learn and grow somewhere where I'm not just making money for The Man in what sounds like a lovely culture. I'm sure it won't all be perfect but it sounds great.

Thanks for all the advice everyone.