Do all well paid professionals work really hard long hours

[CheshireSplat]

Just feeling a bit battered. Took a step-up to a senior role 4 years ago and am well respected. Have been promoted a couple of times and salary has increased by about 50%. Which is great, but isn't what I planned!!! My responsibilities and workload have also increased significantly.

My DC are 9 and 6 and I'd like to spend more time with them. I'd also like to spend some time doing normal things, like doing more than 1000 steps a day and getting off my chair. I don't have time to tidy the house, which gets me down. I didn't sign up for a Big Job. And it's getting a bit much. I'm managing to resist doing much work at weekends but Monday morning to Friday night it is absolutely full on and I'm working at full pelt, from early til late.

Is this normal? There certainly seems to be an epidemic of busyness, or do people feel they have to say they are busy? I'm 44 and feel my life is passing me by.

I have an interview for a job in the NFP sector, similar role, big pay cut but we can cope, don't have extravagant lifestyle. Am I kidding myself if I think it would be different there?

I'm just rambling. Would love to see what others think..... Thank you. Problem is work is important to me, and I like a challenge.

If you’re taking home £103k/year, you’re likely grossing around £190k. Surely that gives you some leeway to look at dropping some hours, or taking a step back?

Yes and no. DH is a high earner (£120k>) and has varying hours of work each day- usually 9-5. Some evenings and most weekends he does a couple of hours of work doing emails and calls. He has weeks where he works flat out from 8am- 10/11pm, but doesn't do any work on those weekends to catch up on sleep etc. He doesn't miss out on anything by working like this and it works for both of us.

My highest salary when I worked was around £80-85k and I wouldn't have managed kids or the house while doing that work. I sacrificed my social life, hobbies and general health and wellbeing because the salary was more important to me. Living to work didn't suit me.

I think it largely depends on how you work, how used to the work you are and how you manage your time outside of work. But some roles just require too much for 1 person to handle, and 12 hour days can be completely unsustainable if you have more important things you want to be focussing on.

Right. Biting.
Teacher with responsibility in core subject.
Not been full time since kids were tiny, so I could have some weekend time.
Regularly work over 50 hours a week. 60 plus after a data collect/ mock week etc.

Earn just over 40. Same as dh, who works fewer hours, has fewer responsibilities and has every evening and weekend off. Gets bonuses and time in lieu.

But you know, changing lives and shit is better than financial remuneration.

I have no life between Mon and Thurs. I often feel like each half term is like being on an oil rig- you close yourself off, get your head down and get it done. Half term is for catching up on the work you didn't do during term time.

Interesting thread, placemarking

I think it really depends on the industry and culture. I’m not as well paid as you but I earn above average - in the top 15% according to IFS - and I work 10-6 but realistically I don’t sit at my computer all day between those hours. I have lots of time between tasks to potter about, do chores, nap, walk the dog. I imagine progressing to earn more would necessitate more work which I don’t particularly want. I’m not sure how universal silly hours are at your salary level, but probably more common than where I’m at.

I used to wake very early and often got to the office before everyone else. I hoped that meant I could get my work done and leave at a reasonable time.

It often didn't work because the other senior people seemed to want to have discussions and to strategize late in the afternoon, which meant I had to hang around.

So yes you have to work longer hours. Thankfully I enjoyed contributing. I was also in house legal counsel, but to a tribunal, so my team did judicial reviews etc.

Hmmm, food for thought. Not take home pay, don't know why I said that, pre-tax.

@Kite22 thanks. You're quite right, I think my personality will drive me to work hard/long wherever I am. The reason for looking for a change is a desire to "do good" - my company does useful work but it is still profit making at the end of the day. I've got a real social conscience and used to balance it out by roles in the community but I just don't have time for anything else now. I had planned to move to a portfolio career to do some earning work and some voluntary work when DD2 is at high school but this interesting job has come up....

I am trying to divorce my stress in my current role from this new opportunity and am not convinced I am quite ready to leave....

I'm treating the interview next week as a chance for me to learn, but the feedback here has been so helpful that I shouldn't assume the NFP role will be shorter hours....@TeaAndTrifle, I can see how that pressure could be applied.

Sorry you clear 100k a year and then moan you don't have time to do house renos??

Is that what we're understanding here?

@Clymene

Getting pad a lot = working long hours.

Not at all. DP on £105k for 4 days a week, plays tennis during the day or does gardening. He's in tech.

I'm on £86k and ashamed to say (well not really) that some days I just sit on mumsnet all day. For several days in a row. Send a couple of emails/do a zoom call, and back on mumsnet again.

Ok I’m probably on about 70 plus at the moment and it can be tough as it’s 3 posts - full time plus two associate posts. There are weeks it’s tough and other weeks I do 9-5 and no more. In general I feel I work no harder than when I earned 20k.

It might not meet your criteria for high earning but up here it’s a lot of money and I feel comfortable. The portfolio career also maintains my options which reassures me. I never work over 45 hours per week on average.

I'm trying not to moan! Just trying to understand what expectations are realistic in my position. One option is to drop my salary and have more free time. On the other hand, I do like being in charge! I'd quite like to keep my salary and have more free time, but that might BU.

Why aren't we told about these 85k for doing nothing jobs in uni? I have been working my arse off for 20 years and have seen friends' wages go up and up and up. But they tell me they'd rather have a job where they 'make a difference'. Yeah, right.

@travailtotravel

NFP here. It isn't easier in the third sector. The pressure and hours are still there, just without the salary and sometimes the benefits. Added pressure from doing something for a mission - benefit is you know you're making a difference. But the price is just always doing a bit more for the cause or to save the charity with less resources. It's not the same everywhere but enough for me to say something so you are eyes wide open.

I agree with travail, NFP’s expect a lot, because you’re doing it for a good cause. The people involved in them are often v. nice though.

Yes. All except GPs, who according to the news cam only be expected to work 32 hours, poor lambs. No doubt will still get paid an extortionate full time salary though.

up here : my part of Scotland sorry

@TheMoth

Why aren't we told about these 85k for doing nothing jobs in uni? I have been working my arse off for 20 years and have seen friends' wages go up and up and up. But they tell me they'd rather have a job where they 'make a difference'. Yeah, right.

Huh? Yea we have. I've known since 7 y.o. to study STEM (science tech engineering maths) if I want to have nice things in life.

You're working hard 9 to 5 to earn a good salary. I don't understand why this would be a surprise to you. What did you think you would have to do to earn decent money?

@RJnomore1

Ok I’m probably on about 70 plus at the moment and it can be tough as it’s 3 posts - full time plus two associate posts. There are weeks it’s tough and other weeks I do 9-5 and no more. In general I feel I work no harder than when I earned 20k.

It might not meet your criteria for high earning but up here it’s a lot of money and I feel comfortable. The portfolio career also maintains my options which reassures me. I never work over 45 hours per week on average.

Thanks, that's interesting. My longer term plan were 3 days a week corporate work, 1 day a week voluntary and a day off! Sounds nice...

Yes I actually feel guilty because I am les stressed than friends and family on minimum wage. If I have to write on the odd sunday it’s a fair trade off. I mostly determine my own hours etc.

DH is in IT, pretty specialised role in a public company, not in U.K. He's on about 115K and works approx 8-5 with around an hour for lunch, two days in the office and three days from home. Sometimes he works an hour later. They are flexible so if he needs to take me to a medical appointment he can make up the time.
However his last job was more pressured, long hours expected but they paid overtime (private sector). But it was generally a shit job which is why he left.
He's a contractor and has had about 10-15 jobs over the last 20 years. He's had times when he's had to work long hours, but in general it hasn't been expected.

Please tell us your jobs! Jealous!

Sorry thats to @primrosee :-)

I would NOT go into the nfp sector , from what I have seen they expect to you to work as hard but for less for the love of it all and the feel good factor . Fair enough get a lower stress job but whatever you do be careful don’t swap a high paid high stress job for a low paid high stress long hour job !!

@Lightswitch123 we're in tech, and data.
Tech is automating any processes that were done manually, think Atlassian.

STEM is the way forward, problem is a lot of people don't do or study it cos it's hard. Our hours a good but my brain gets drained from maths, so I wouldn't say it's easy....