My boss did a number on me.!

[whatisforteamum]

I've posted before so please don't point this out.Im so stressed.
Recently I've been struggling mentally and became severely depressed for about 5 weeks.
I dreaded going back to my toxic workplace.
Anyway recently my boss has been banging on about people that are a position less that mine .
Now a 19 year old is saying the same thing.
About incompetent people etc etc.
I'm a 50 something women.
It is clear that after work drinks are slagging me off to each other rather than address any issues with me.
On of my work colleagues and I have worked together around 15 yrs in various places,even he has started borderline bullying me and calling me weird as I'm the only much older member that is a married homeowner and they are all single young guys.
I've spoken to Acas and although I had an interview yesterday in my break I still feel broken by the childish unprofessional treatment.
I have no one to confide in as all the others are in the clique.
Last week they video's the kp saying my shortbread was shit and sent it on my day off.
Any advise on how to deal with this.

Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar.

It’s not really clear what is actually going on. You mention a video where you were insulted: who made it and to whom was it circulated? How did you come to learn about it?

That’s probably a good straying point for a complaint to HR.

Last week they video's the kp saying my shortbread was shit and sent it on my day off.

What does this mean? I ask because I'm trying to see some specific examples in your post but can't. It's horrible being made to feel like an outsider at work, but much of what you say is based on your perception that people are talking about you or think you're weird because you're older than them. All of which is very difficult to prove.

Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar.

It's literally the first sentence in the op!

My boss circulated it to my other boss and 2 below me.
I'm very undermined.just had to offload today.

@PegasusReturns Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar

Did you actually bother to read the OP?
Look at the very first line again.

They sent a video saying your shortbread was shit? How did you see it?

It sounds like an awful place to be, have you raised it with HR? And what advice did acas give you?
It can be hard to prove without evidence- I was discriminated against because I was pregnant and then forced out of a job but acas couldn't help me because it was all verbal (the person doing it would do it all verbally and then deny it).

It's a really shit situation to be in and I feel for you, how do you think your interview went? Is it a job you think you'd be happier in if you're successful?

The video was on the work group chat.The posts are unprofessional and I have suggested a lads group for this kind of thing and one for rotas and holiday requests.
My boss has told me he ostracized a women at his last place and pushed her out.Sorry to hear you have been through this majesticallyawkward.

@PegasusReturns

Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar.

It’s not really clear what is actually going on. You mention a video where you were insulted: who made it and to whom was it circulated? How did you come to learn about it?

That’s probably a good straying point for a complaint to HR.

Fucking hell, it's literally the first line

What have ACAS said?

"Have you posted about this before?"

Jeez

Have you considered looking elsewhere? It doesn't sound like you enjoy working there.

I've been offered other jobs.went for an interview Monday too.
Employers are impressed by my CV.
My hesitancy has been I earn more than dh.
I do have savings though.My subordinate refused to help put away deliveries earlier.I had to point out we are a team.
The rot is quite deep.😨

Ahh! Do you work in a kitchen? - the KP aka KItchen Porter said your shortbread was shit. Makes sense now - could not understand why someone would randomly comment on your shortbread. Kitchens are tough places to work.

If you work in a kitchen they you can probably walk straight into a new job. Everyone is hospitality is desperate for staff at the moment. Good luck!

Speak with your HR and document everything.

They sound like arseholes. Sounds like you are being bullied.

Ahh! Do you work in a kitchen? - the KP aka KItchen Porter said your shortbread was shit.

Thank goodness someone has explained this. I've been wracking my brains!

Apologies OP and thanks to all the PPs for so pleasantly pointing out my error.

Obviously I did scan the OP and was focussing on the substance issues.

However I’m sure you’re sniping at me was far more helpful than my trying to ascertain what actually happened and how to help 🙄

Great news I have a second interview at a great local place with straight shifts.
You are right kitchens are tough and the hrs are long.
Management can make or break a place.
I asked about sexism at the interview and was told it wouldn't be tolerated.

I spoke to Acas and they sent me to the equalities place who said document everything and the fact one makes vom noises in regard to womens bodies.
Honestly it is soo hard if you find yourself bullied or at least alienated for being different.

Well best of luck at your second interview!

If you’re a kitchen professional you’re laughing. It’s the one field that’s desperate for experienced staff. You could probably call the shots in terms of work hours etc to suit you, so don’t worry. Once the stuff with ACAS is sorted vote with your feet!

I would focus on finding a new job and leaving them behind you. Keep looking forward.

If they want to treat people badly then that sits with their conscience. You have different values and you have stayed true to them.

Every hotel restaurant and cafe want staff where I live.
I even have recruiters ringing me with much better pay saying my cv is strong.
The best bit is we have an ad out and only one person with no experience responded.
Everything crossed I get to leave and move to much better things.