don't know whether to take an exit package

[Iwillneverbesatisfied]

I've asked my union to help me negotiate an exit package from my workplace, except the package they think I will get is too low in the eyes of my DH and my DM.

My union proposed asking for £70,000, and accepting no lower than £50,000. This would be about 12-18 months salary and I'm guessing before PILON and annual leave accumulated. Also with a positive reference. Union say I might not get this but its higher than most places offer as an exit package.

I have experienced years of disability discrimination, and I cannot take it anymore. I am still employed there, but struggling.

The fear, on the part of my DH and DParents is that because of the number of disabilities I have, that money might run out before I find anything else. I do not want to downsize either or move as I love my home. It is necessary for DHs work and DDs school. Also family nearby as a disability support network. There is also the current climate to think about with regards to the job market. DHs place has had redundancies although he believes he may be okay.

The other options are to quit, with no money at all, and sue but maybe not win. Or carry on working there and be more and more miserable.

I don't know what to do. DH says not to take less than £90,000 so we can at least pay off our mortgage. I'm in the public sector. I don't think that is realistic. I think I'd be lucky to get £50,000.

Can anyone advise me? I'm job searching all the time with no luck. My qualifications are so niche as well. I've tried to do additional courses though. I do not want to work in a shop just to pay my bills and I couldn't anyway due to the nature of my disabilities.

Just attend the interview. If they offer you the job cross that bridge then.

Just tell the potential new employer that you need to clarify your notice period and will come back to them.

Tell the old employer you want PILON not garden leave because you want a clean break. It's just part of negotiating.

But even if its garden leave, the new employer should wait as you just say you have a notice period. Which is normal.

Re reference, just try to get the agreement signed before any new employer requests a reference, which they should not do until after you have accepted a job offer.

You have no reason to panic. All employers know that employees have a notice period. If you are offered the job, say you can start in a month. Surely your situation will be sorted by then. You can also ask them to refrain from requesting a reference until you say so.

@purpledagger

I think you need to put aside what your DH and DParents 'think' you should get. That's not how the law works. Your legal adviser will give you an idea as to the potential value of your claim.

Until your employer has agreed to consider a settlement, there is no point in thinking about whether the figure is too low. It may not even be an option.

This.

Your DP & DPs are at this from an emotional perspective of what would be nice for you to have. Any offer (if there is one) will be based on a risk & cost assessment by your employer

Sorry thread just refreshed.

OP I think that's a good decision, not only does the package sound decent but your MH is so important.

Your DH does not sound lovely or supportive though

This morning's telephone interview went well. It was apparently a basic introductory / getting to know you interview and I am being put through to the next stage. They seemed impressed with my skills and knowledge and my disabilities didn't seem to phase them (which is good but its early days!). They said to get back to them as soon as I could regarding my notice period as they'd like someone to start straight away. It is part time, home based so could be less stressful albeit still with targets.

The only issue (for me) is that it is £25,000 less pa than my current salary and that does make feel like a failure in a way. I guess it would supplement any exit package until I find something better paid. I also worry it will be a full time job on part time hours and a part time wage.

Am I being silly? Am I just worrying far too much?

Still have the discussion later with my employer. I hope to get everything tied up this week if not today.

So this new job only pays £5k?

Sorry, I am trying not to be too outing. I am on nearly £40,000 currently on a full time basis in an office (currently working from home) and this new job, if I take it, is £13,000pa (part time, home based).

The only issue (for me) is that it is £25,000 less pa than my current salary and that does make feel like a failure in a way. I guess it would supplement any exit package until I find something better paid. I also worry it will be a full time job on part time hours and a part time wage.

Can you really put a price on happiness? If I had the option to earn 100k in a stressy role with no work/life balance and working with arseholes, vs a 50k role in which I had great colleagues, a stimulating role and looked forward to waking up in the mornings, it would be the latter. I appreciate that taking a cut isn't feasible for many but I truly believe your wellbeing should trump all.

You're being slightly disingenuous by comparing both salaries however, since the second role is PT so was always going to be lower.

Just take the offer from your employer asap and move on.

Trying to negotiate with them or taking them to ET will just be stressful and delay the inevitable which is you leaving the business- you have been clear on this post that staying with them is destroying your mental health.

It's a v decent offer (I'm an HR manager)

You can then move on to the job you have been offered or another suitable job that you are happier with- the next job doesn't have to be forever, you can still be looking for other jobs in the meantime.

@BiscuitsUnited

Just take the offer from your employer asap and move on.

Trying to negotiate with them or taking them to ET will just be stressful and delay the inevitable which is you leaving the business- you have been clear on this post that staying with them is destroying your mental health.

It's a v decent offer (I'm an HR manager)

You can then move on to the job you have been offered or another suitable job that you are happier with- the next job doesn't have to be forever, you can still be looking for other jobs in the meantime.

This times a million

Meeting with employer went well. very short and sweet.

Offer upped to £70,000 gross. Full and final offer.

Includes PILON but not annual leave as I'm taking PILON

Factual reference

I finish at the end of the week. Final payment arrives week before xmas.

I find the whole gross / net and tax stuff all very confusing. Trying to figure out what exactly I get in my hand after tax.

I'm taking this offer but still very nervous about the future!

Excellent news!

Wishing you much happiness on leaving!

That's a good outcome op. I hope you can find some peace now. Good luck with the other job too.

Wow you should be thrilled with that. When it's sunk in, think for a minute how your husband would have reacted if you'd lost your job with no payout this year like thousands of others. How supportive would he be? I don't like the sound of him one bit.

Monday is meant to be my last day, according to the exit package letter I got, although I still have all my work equipment and still have access to emails, intranet etc. I also haven't signed any agreement - do I need to? Or do I just leave everything to HR and my union? I told the union I accepted the offer and they were going to speak to Thompsons. I just don't know what happens now. I don't know if I can say from tomorrow that I'm unemployed or if I need to keep quiet? I'm just thinking about that other job I applied to. I fear saying I'm no longer employed at ABC when I still am? Is there anything else I need to do or receive do you think?

You definitely have to sign it, yes.

At least I'm getting out before they make us do the gender pronouns in our email signatures. Which they are trying to push on us all. If only they cared about disability as much as they do about LGBT and BLM. It's just bloody virtue signalling. They don't mean any of it. I have a lesbian colleague who got bullied for years without any help but now it matters. Anyway, the sooner the money is in my bank and everything signed off the better. I do feel quite sad to be giving up a career I worked hard for but my health is most important.