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Original poster

Employer have said I have resigned - I haven't. Urgent help please!

999 replies

Titslikepicassos · 06/11/2020 18:25

I have a loooong thread in AIBU and received excellent support but things have escalated.

Long story short, I went on maternity leave this time last year. I had issues at work throughout my pregnancy, being shouted at and sidelined and told to move locations. Sorted it all out informally.

In March I asked to return to work early from Mat leave due to financial issues caused by lockdown. At this point my boss attempted to move me again, that didn't work and she then went back on the hours she had given me and it messed up my childcare.

I raised a formal grievance and put a flexible working request in at the same time. The company failed to do anything with my request and the grievance process was mismanaged and a data breach occurred in the middle of it, where my grievance letter was upload to a public file and seen by others.

The grievance was upheld in parts but they again tried to move me to a new location which doesnt work due to childcare issues.

I requested mediation with my boss in order to go back to work as I'm still not back 7 months later.

Today the regional director has said that they won't honour mediation and I have now resigned.

My union rep has disappeared and I received this at 16:00 today so couldn't get hold of ACAS.

Any advice would be very welcome!

OP posts:
incenseandpeppermints · 10/11/2020 19:29

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2

I did wonder if the RD has acted without proper consultation with all parties. It seems very odd that HR said something pretty and he has done this out of the blue.
I think the Regional Director has also been spun a line and will be in court for murdering HR and also OP's manager. Maybe the maternity cover too as he's sulkily refusing to step aside to let OP return to her role.
kirinm · 10/11/2020 19:54

This all sounds awful OP. I'm surprised by some on here who assume a large company couldn't get it wrong. They definitely do.

I hope your solicitors are able to help you pursue these arseholes!

ManxiousCat · 10/11/2020 20:04

@MadameMiggeldy thank you yes I am. Still have periods of anxiety and the spectre of the previous management still looms due to TUPE but our new employer doesn't enable 'old' management to behave like a vindictive c#^t.

BlueThistles · 10/11/2020 20:17

you deserve to win this OP 🌺

SquishySquirmy · 10/11/2020 20:18

Sorry if someone has already mentioned it, but have you heard of the organisation pregnant then screwed.com ?
They offer advice I believe.

PrincessForADay · 11/11/2020 08:42

That's great that the legal team are looking at it (finally!!!)

Be careful with emails/screenshots etc of policies incase this is against your IT security policies.

Stay squeaky clean

kirinm · 11/11/2020 09:24

@Bluntness100 I was just wondering - are you a lawyer /employment law specialist?

dontdisturbmenow · 11/11/2020 09:35

When that they failed to shift me, she went back on my prearranged hours. Childcare was all sorted but couldn't be changed due to Covid. I asked for a help for 3 months to see which way Covid was going
Were these prearranged hours those you were doing before you went off? The issue here is they don't have to facilitate your childcare needs.

I'm confused though how they ended up offering you another location. Did that other location allowed for your requested hours?

ie, you were working ft before going in maternity leave. You asked to come back earlier than planned in 3 days. They are saying they can't do 3 days in that role (at least during that time and forgetting about the issue of working with your oh) but then offer a 3 days on another site. Their position is 5 days as before locally or three days at the other place. You refuse both. In this instance, I can see how they would considered that you resigned.

Was the offer of the other site following your request for flexible hours? If so, they could evidence they had consider it. They don't have to legally accept what you request, just consider it.

Bluntness100 · 11/11/2020 09:46

[quote kirinm]@Bluntness100 I was just wondering - are you a lawyer /employment law specialist?[/quote]
No, but in a work capacity I deal with something similar, as in employee separations and from the employers side, i don’t want to go into further detail. I have no experience of this specific scenario but something similar so just trying to help.

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 09:47

@dontdisturbmenow

When that they failed to shift me, she went back on my prearranged hours. Childcare was all sorted but couldn't be changed due to Covid. I asked for a help for 3 months to see which way Covid was going Were these prearranged hours those you were doing before you went off? The issue here is they don't have to facilitate your childcare needs.

I'm confused though how they ended up offering you another location. Did that other location allowed for your requested hours?

ie, you were working ft before going in maternity leave. You asked to come back earlier than planned in 3 days. They are saying they can't do 3 days in that role (at least during that time and forgetting about the issue of working with your oh) but then offer a 3 days on another site. Their position is 5 days as before locally or three days at the other place. You refuse both. In this instance, I can see how they would considered that you resigned.

Was the offer of the other site following your request for flexible hours? If so, they could evidence they had consider it. They don't have to legally accept what you request, just consider it.

My line manager changed my shift (at her request) prior to my Mat leave. I agreed and sourced childcare, she then changed her mind.

I put in a flexible working request - I'm aware that they don't have to accept it, but they DO have to consider it - they didn't, I had no meeting, no opportunity to appeal because they did nothing with it.

The other location didn't offer me hours at all.

So to circumvent all of this shit, I told them I would come back on my contracted hours. They were happy with that and said they would look at my flexible working request on my return.

OP posts:
Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 09:51

If they HAD looked at my flexible working request and denied me, I would have resigned. I don't expect special treatment - just the basic treatment I'm entitled to!

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Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 09:58

The reason my manager just changed my hours from the prearranged ones was because she stated she needed a manager on side at all times. This is impossible to do, given the amount of managers/hours etc, it's never been possible. So I asked for a copy of the rota in order to fill in my flexible working request giving consideration to the operational running of the business. She refused me access to this rota - despite my name being on it.

I have since requested the rotas under DSAR - the managers are not on site at all times. Yesterday all managers went home at 16:00. We're a 24 hours service.

OP posts:
ilovemydogandMrObama · 11/11/2020 10:13

Now that your union rep is back and being more responsive, would it be worth him speaking to the Regional Director, on the off chance that this is miscommunication on a major scale, namely that you didn't actually resign and were waiting for a date from HR for mediation, so you're fairly shocked it has come to this and you have the backing of the union solicitors...

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 10:50

@ilovemydogandMrObama - potentially, he's calling me later to discuss the plan going forward

OP posts:
ilovemydogandMrObama · 11/11/2020 11:23

Well, for what it's worth, ime as a union rep, unless it's something fairly straightforward (theft, fraud) lots of employers are fairly dreadful when it comes to complex situations such as yours, although have a feeling that much of the shenanigans has come from your line manager...

At the moment, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that although you absolutely do have a legal case, your preference is to have your job, in which case, you will need to get your union rep to negotiate.

Personally, I would go down the face to face meeting if possible as most of the issues have been dragging out for ages, so having a meeting with the Regional Director may be a way of resolving the issues, even at this late stage.

My top tip is to give your employer a dignified way out, such as, 'Not sure you have all the facts but, Tits was told by HR that they were waiting for mediation and is still keen to sort this out locally...'

But obviously up to you.

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 11:57

@ilovemydogandMrObama

Well, for what it's worth, ime as a union rep, unless it's something fairly straightforward (theft, fraud) lots of employers are fairly dreadful when it comes to complex situations such as yours, although have a feeling that much of the shenanigans has come from your line manager...

At the moment, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that although you absolutely do have a legal case, your preference is to have your job, in which case, you will need to get your union rep to negotiate.

Personally, I would go down the face to face meeting if possible as most of the issues have been dragging out for ages, so having a meeting with the Regional Director may be a way of resolving the issues, even at this late stage.

My top tip is to give your employer a dignified way out, such as, 'Not sure you have all the facts but, Tits was told by HR that they were waiting for mediation and is still keen to sort this out locally...'

But obviously up to you.

I do want my job back, but despite the fact I've done nothing wrong, could you imagine going back to that place now! I'm so angry, I'm not sure I could be trusted not to say something awful as soon as I have to deal with RD or HR - which I would have to as a manager.
OP posts:
Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 11:58

I'll definitely get my union rep to test the waters. He's very good in meetings and wouldn't make the RD look like an idiot, it's something to think about

OP posts:
CrimsonCattery · 11/11/2020 13:17

How stressful and awful. Hope you can take them to the cleaners. I don't think I could cope going back after this. Where is the trust?

Ratbagratty · 11/11/2020 14:27

I realise you are probably all emailed / phone called out, but have you tried maternity action as pp suggested? Good luck fighting this I think you are really strong.

Snowbeau · 11/11/2020 20:43

Just wanted to add my well wishes. I'm so so amazed at how you've handled this!

justilou1 · 11/11/2020 21:16

I have been following this from Australia and been furious in your behalf. I’m so pleased you and the union are not taking this lying down. I assume they are going to find all kinds of other irregularities if they scratch further too. Well done!

BlueThistles · 11/11/2020 21:44

How did today go OP... any further talks with your Rep 🌺

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 21:58

I've reached peak anger this evening... it's a bit unbelievable really. If I'd known that you could just tell people they had resigned, I'd have had a much easier time at work!

The lawyers said it will take a week or so to assess the case.

Union rep has advised that we wait and see what they come back with before we make any moves - which seems sensible but I'm happy that they think I've just quietly skipped away.

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Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 21:59

Not happy that should say

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Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 11/11/2020 22:16

I could with someone talking me down at the minute - I am FUCKING FURIOUS. My company is all about reputation and I'm tempted to blast them
on social media.

OP posts: