Employer have said I have resigned - I haven't. Urgent help please!

[Titslikepicassos]

I have a loooong thread in AIBU and received excellent support but things have escalated.

Long story short, I went on maternity leave this time last year. I had issues at work throughout my pregnancy, being shouted at and sidelined and told to move locations. Sorted it all out informally.

In March I asked to return to work early from Mat leave due to financial issues caused by lockdown. At this point my boss attempted to move me again, that didn't work and she then went back on the hours she had given me and it messed up my childcare.

I raised a formal grievance and put a flexible working request in at the same time. The company failed to do anything with my request and the grievance process was mismanaged and a data breach occurred in the middle of it, where my grievance letter was upload to a public file and seen by others.

The grievance was upheld in parts but they again tried to move me to a new location which doesnt work due to childcare issues.

I requested mediation with my boss in order to go back to work as I'm still not back 7 months later.

Today the regional director has said that they won't honour mediation and I have now resigned.

My union rep has disappeared and I received this at 16:00 today so couldn't get hold of ACAS.

Any advice would be very welcome!

@Schoolsaremagicalbubbles disability here too. Now experiencing victimisation. Worked hard for this career, don't want to give it up, especially as its very well paid. Union official being great though.

Sorry OP, we're distracting your thread.

Mine was disability discrimation too, mental health related - working a well known mental health charity...they did everything they could to bury it, and me in a box almost

I have everything crossed for you OP

I think you should talk to a journalist about this - but only after everything is signed and sealed and if the agreement doesn’t include a gag clause.

You might benefit from talking to someone about it now just to get it all of your chest. You could ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor. Talking to friends can be cathartic but it is easier to organise your thoughts with a professional.

I suspect any settlement will include the signing of a non-disclosure agreement, so I would avoid talking to the press as tempting as that might be.

Oh op I hope you sort this. That is totally wrong !!! They shouldnt get away with it xx

Who put you in touch with a journalist? I assume this was neither the union or obvs your work. This is a really bad idea and whomever did it, has either not thought this through or isn’t working in your best interests.

I posted on this thread earlier about how I started legal proceedings against my employer for constructive dismissal and we agreed a settlement package at the last minute.

This included an NDA. You should be prepared for this, OP.

Appreciate all your advice!

@Bluntness100 - It was a friend who put me in contact, the conversation we were having at the time was centred around how women are still having to deal with this sort of shit and how a settlement package to shut my mouth just allows it to continue.

Having spent the weekend reflecting on my situation, I agree with you all, that playing my hand now would be a reactive response to my rage and unhelpful.

I've received another phone call from my ex employer today asking if I'd had any thought about a potential 'without prejudice' conversation. They would like an answer by tomorrow afternoon, so they don't need to bother with a solicitor

So it looks like I'm in this for the long haul with an employment tribunal looming over me. My doctor has signed me up for counselling so that should help with the ongoing stress.

In happier news, DP has two job offers lined up, so we shouldn't be in a complete mess by February!

I think I would tell them to communicating in writing with you only as previous verbal assurances turned out to be lies.

KOKO

Did you check with ICO that they reported the GDPR breach of your data?

If you were go enter into a compromise agreement with them they'd need a solicitor anyway- so I don't get what they are doing and I'm very suspicious about it to be honest.

Keep on OP. Anything from the union legal?

@RandomMess

Did you check with ICO that they reported the GDPR breach of your data?

They didn't! Of course

@NeilBuchananisBanksy

If you were go enter into a compromise agreement with them they'd need a solicitor anyway- so I don't get what they are doing and I'm very suspicious about it to be honest.

Keep on OP. Anything from the union legal?

I think the issue is with a case this complicated and messy it's going to cost them ££££ before it even gets to tribunal.

They've might a right pigs ear of things, which is understatement.

Well without prejudice offer should mean it does not impact your right to a tribunal or negate any compensation a tribunal might request.

A without prejudice conversation however I think means it can’t be used as evidence in a tribunal without both parties agreement, so that’s slightly different.

But I’d wait and hear back from the unions lawyers on this one.

They won’t need a lawyer if you agree a compromise agreement, with no further claim on the company. Which is what I assume they are going for. I would not be willing to go there at this stage, not unless the union lawyers tell you you’ve no case.

Good luck to your husband.

Ps settlement agreements could be used to cover up sexual discrimination but it would be hard to prove this due to their very nature, and they are common across both genders, and often equally in the employees favour.

I would be following that up with ICO...

DP has just come home with the details of the job they've offered him if he retracts his notice.

He had a meeting with the RD (the one fired me). He was very nice, said he'd taken everything DP had said into consideration (flexibility for childcare etc) and they've offered him his dream job.

Irrationally, I'm furious that they've done this for him and got rid of me. I burst into angry tears, when he told me, while swallowing a mouth full of tea, so now I'm unemployed with tea in my sinuses.

You know they've done that they've fucked up with you, not despite it? They're trying to use him to soften you.

It sounds like they're trying to create a bargaining chip for negotiations with you.

Dont be rushed on your decision. Yours and your DP's positions are separate and should not be reliant on the outcome of the other. Make sure his job offer etc is in writing.

He gets that job offer in writing, signed sealed and delivered before you discuss anything!!

@LittleMissNaice

It sounds like they're trying to create a bargaining chip for negotiations with you.

Not really, it’s already formally offered. So they are separating the two

Op, at least he keeps his job. Right?💐

Not irrational at all, but am wondering if the RD is the sort who is good in person but emails and other forms of communication makes it appear that he's a more abrupt than the circumstances warrant?

Have you previously had dealings with him directly or is he taking all of his information about you from your line manager?

It's a tough one - the resentment that your DH is getting a much better deal that is considerate about childcare arrangements when you were sacked, compared to the hard cold fact that at least it will be one income rather than zero.

If I was your rep, would go higher up and speak to your RD's manager.

But really feel for you...

I'm fairly sure you're all correct in saying that this role for DP is a sweetener - it stings a bit but the important thing is family income in the new year.

@ilovemydogandmrobama2 - I've never met the man, we went through a company merger and my RD was replaced with this one. He told DP that he had no input into what happened with me but he pulled the trigger so to speak.

Pulled the trigger. What does that even mean in this context?