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Original poster

Employer have said I have resigned - I haven't. Urgent help please!

999 replies

Titslikepicassos · 06/11/2020 18:25

I have a loooong thread in AIBU and received excellent support but things have escalated.

Long story short, I went on maternity leave this time last year. I had issues at work throughout my pregnancy, being shouted at and sidelined and told to move locations. Sorted it all out informally.

In March I asked to return to work early from Mat leave due to financial issues caused by lockdown. At this point my boss attempted to move me again, that didn't work and she then went back on the hours she had given me and it messed up my childcare.

I raised a formal grievance and put a flexible working request in at the same time. The company failed to do anything with my request and the grievance process was mismanaged and a data breach occurred in the middle of it, where my grievance letter was upload to a public file and seen by others.

The grievance was upheld in parts but they again tried to move me to a new location which doesnt work due to childcare issues.

I requested mediation with my boss in order to go back to work as I'm still not back 7 months later.

Today the regional director has said that they won't honour mediation and I have now resigned.

My union rep has disappeared and I received this at 16:00 today so couldn't get hold of ACAS.

Any advice would be very welcome!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 13/11/2020 12:16

Ah I’m sorry op. I was hoping his outcome would be different.

BlueThistles · 13/11/2020 12:47

this has to be the worst case of being shafted Ive ever heard 🌺

SeasonFinale · 13/11/2020 15:04

ex Commercial Litigation lawyer here rather than employment lawyer.

Please take proper legal advice as I believe you have a claim for wrongful dismissal by virtue of sex discrimination and the amount you can claim is higher than you potentially realise.

Cloud21 · 13/11/2020 16:01

I sued an ex-employer through my house insurance legal assistance. To qualify, they think you have to have at least a 51% chance of winning & you must have had this part of the policy when the employment issue first started.

We settled out of court 12 hours before we were due to see each other in court.

I think someone on on your other thread asked if you had this but I couldn’t see your answer, sorry.

DeaconBoo · 13/11/2020 16:20

@SeasonFinale

ex Commercial Litigation lawyer here rather than employment lawyer.

Please take proper legal advice as I believe you have a claim for wrongful dismissal by virtue of sex discrimination and the amount you can claim is higher than you potentially realise.

I really don't want to make this a gender thread, but isn't it pregnancy discrimination rather than sex discrimination, as the argument would be that (trans) men can get pregnant too, so there is no sex discrimination? This is a genuine question that I have wondered about and not intended to be goady.
NameChange2PostThis · 13/11/2020 16:32

@DeaconBoo

I really don't want to make this a gender thread, but isn't it pregnancy discrimination rather than sex discrimination, as the argument would be that (trans) men can get pregnant too, so there is no sex discrimination? This is a genuine question that I have wondered about and not intended to be goady.

Bit of a derail even if you don’t mean to be goady? Anyway, just to clarify as you are wondering- a trans man’s sex is female so therefore it remains sex discrimination. HTH

DeaconBoo · 13/11/2020 16:39

[quote NameChange2PostThis]@DeaconBoo

I really don't want to make this a gender thread, but isn't it pregnancy discrimination rather than sex discrimination, as the argument would be that (trans) men can get pregnant too, so there is no sex discrimination? This is a genuine question that I have wondered about and not intended to be goady.

Bit of a derail even if you don’t mean to be goady? Anyway, just to clarify as you are wondering- a trans man’s sex is female so therefore it remains sex discrimination. HTH[/quote]
No, if they have a GRC their legal gender is male.

It wasn't mean to be a derail but a question as to whether the framing of the case as sex discrimination by a previous poster would meet a swift dead end, legally speaking.

DeciduousPerennial · 13/11/2020 16:47

Either way, it’s not really helpful or pertinent to OP’s specific predicament, and it might be best to start a new thread somewhere to discuss the ins and outs of that hypothetical scenario rather than continue the derail that’s already started?

DeaconBoo · 13/11/2020 18:09

Sorry, do you mean the suggestion that it's sex discrimination isn't pertinent to the OP?

Or the suggestion that this might not be a successful argument because pregnancy isn't restricted to one legal sex?

Or is it not the pregnancy that would make it sex discrimination (ie the previous poster meant that the male partner of the relationship was treated differently) , and I've misunderstood something?

DeaconBoo · 13/11/2020 18:11

I'll reword my post that was directed at SeasonFinale.

On what basis could the OP argue that this was sex discrimination?

NoWordForFluffy · 13/11/2020 18:14

What kind of discrimination it may or may not be is up to her solicitor. You appear to be being goady and derailing the thread.

She has the union's solicitor reviewing the matter, so let's leave them to decide the best way to approach winning at Tribunal and just give Tits our support, eh?

DeaconBoo · 13/11/2020 18:28

She's definitely got my support! I can't believe how the company have acted. I was just wondering about the point made by the lawyer above. Again, not trying to derail. I was responding to an employment law point which I thought was pertinent and clarity on whether pregnancy is seen legally as a sex-specific thing would affect any women who've been pregnant. Then I was clarifying a point, then seeking clarification on the next post.

I will no longer post anything to do with sex discrimination on this thread! Hope you get a decent response, op, and manage to get it out of your head a bit this weekend.

MiniTheMinx · 13/11/2020 20:56

@SeasonFinale

ex Commercial Litigation lawyer here rather than employment lawyer.

Please take proper legal advice as I believe you have a claim for wrongful dismissal by virtue of sex discrimination and the amount you can claim is higher than you potentially realise.

Under the equalities act pregnancy and maternity are protected characteristics.
MiniTheMinx · 13/11/2020 21:05

I'm sorry about you update Titslikepicassos they really are bastards. I don't think your husband could take up a case against them. But you need to tell your union and get advice regarding your case. If the company accepted your husbands resignation then their original reason for forcing your relocation is null, and once they accepted his resignation they had no reason to either pursue that point in the contract or to sack you. My feeling is that once you took up a grievance neither of you stood any chance of good relations, or treatment within the company. I suspect your DH is probably better out of there as well. Not much help though when you have bills to pay.

Tistheseason17 · 14/11/2020 09:13

Ask him to talk to union about constructive dismissal,too.
Dont rush to agree anything on their timeline. The only timeline you need to worry about is 3 mths from the date of the last incident to qualify for tribunal.
I've done it. Very similar circs. Walked away with redundancy AND a payout on top. Settled with 2 days to go and they had asked judge to put aside a whole day to argue about what they would pay me. - they knew they were wrong. Your employers have done wrong here and irrespective of what's in the DSAR, the FWO process was not followed properly. ACAS has a good page on what MUST be done legally versus what "should" be done which will add weight.
I was not offered trial period in new role when I returned from maternity.
Save press threats to when they make first offer. Mine offer went up 5 fold after mentioning I would be inviting press to the tribunal.

DeaconBoo · 14/11/2020 11:13

Save press threats to when they make first offer. Mine offer went up 5 fold after mentioning I would be inviting press to the tribunal.

Woh... good to know

Schoolsaremagicalbubbles · 14/11/2020 17:41

So sorry to hear about how you have been treated. I have had to take my employer to two tribunals, both of which I won, so have experience with that side of it all. It was extremely unpleasant but I had no choice if I wanted to keep my job. If your employer is bothered about public profile, they will be desperate to settle as all details of tribunals are now published on the internet. Good that your union are supportive. My initial rep was crap but I then got a higher up one and he was great. Good luck with it all. It sounds like they have majorly screwed up their own case - no tribunal would find their behaviour "reasonable" , which is the benchmark.

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 14/11/2020 19:05

Thanks all.

Sorry to hear others have been through this too.

I've mentioned DP's issue to my union. While there is no claim for him, they believe it all adds to my case. He offered to resign to bypass this mess and yet I've still been dismissed without due process. The email he received was signed by the RD but clearly composed by senior HR, they've offered to meet with him to discuss it, along with other options available to him. Which wasn't something offered to me Angry

I've been put in contact with a journalist, apparently my story is very relevant to women struggling with employers due to Covid especially women coming back from maternity. My industry has been in the national press all week and not in a positive light. However, it's something I'm sitting on, I'm talking to someone at the end of next week so I need to have a serious think about how to proceed with it.

OP posts:
Schoolsaremagicalbubbles · 14/11/2020 23:31

It would muddy the waters if you go public now. Trust me, it's the sort of thing they would throw in as a distraction at a tribunal - not relevant to your case, but as a way to make you look bad: oh, she's caused trouble for the company and this tribunal is just more of that etc. etc. A decent barrister would spin it and use it against you. I didn't go public but considered complaining to an external organisation. An email where it was suggested that I did that had to be disclosed to the other side and it became a real distraction at the final hearing: they tried (unsuccessfully) to use it as evidence that I was just out to cause trouble.

Also, the threat of their behaviour becoming publicly know is one of your biggest trump cards and gives you bargaining power. It will make them want to settle with you to avoid the potential issue of bad publicity. If you create the bad publicity anyway, they have less to lose by going ahead with the tribunal as everything is already out there.

For you, in the position you're in, the money matters, so maximise your negotiating power and don't talk to the journalist unless you can be anonymous.

justilou1 · 15/11/2020 01:11

I absolutely would keep stumm, no matter how tempted you are. I think a VERY generous severance package and a GLOWING reference from NOT your RD is what you & DH need right now. Would be much more therapeutic in the long run. Especially if you screw them into the floor. (Otherwise, both of you back to work with better conditions and RD gone because incompetent AF!)

Ohdeariedear · 15/11/2020 12:40

As much as I know how tempting it is, please DO NOT speak to the journalist at this point. It will not help you and has a huge chance of causing harm. Your absolute focus just now is getting as much money out of them as you can, to compensate you for what they have done - so as much as you want to speak out, don’t. For now at least.

Sallycinnamum · 15/11/2020 17:13

OP I echo what others have said about going to the press and I'm sure others in comms and PR would agree.

It would likely cause an absolute shitshow for you no matter how reassuring the journo is about the outcome.

I know the urge to get vengeance is high for you at present but if your employer is who I suspect it is they will close ranks and cause you more stress.

I'm so sorry you are going through this and I hope you get some resolution soon.

Ohdeariedear · 16/11/2020 18:44

@Sallycinnamum Comms/PR here too 👋

Iwillneverbesatisfied · 16/11/2020 19:06

@Schoolsaremagicalbubbles your story is identical to mine (except it wasn't maternity discrimination in my case). Work rep shite, senior official fantastic and two legal actions in my case too. Are you in Scotland by any chance? And what union was it?

@Titslikepicassos run it past your union before you go to any paper because it could negatively influence any claim or compensation, rather than have a positive influence. Just get advice first.

Schoolsaremagicalbubbles · 16/11/2020 19:29

[quote Iwillneverbesatisfied]@Schoolsaremagicalbubbles your story is identical to mine (except it wasn't maternity discrimination in my case). Work rep shite, senior official fantastic and two legal actions in my case too. Are you in Scotland by any chance? And what union was it?

@Titslikepicassos run it past your union before you go to any paper because it could negatively influence any claim or compensation, rather than have a positive influence. Just get advice first.[/quote]
@Iwillneverbesatisfied

No, not Scotland! Mine wasn't maternity discrimination either, was disability. It's so sad that so many of us go through this shite!