I’m a career coach for women changing direction AMA

[Angliski]

Hello

I’m a career coach with 15 years experience of heaping women find the right rile and change direction. I also have a newborn cluster feeding so am pretty bored. Ask me anything!

"NowImmeagain What skills do you want to use? how do you want to feel at the end of the day? Tell me this and I can help more. When people tell me what they don't want I can't really help because I don't yet know what you do want!"

I'm not sure. I have admin skills, speak another language fluently but without qualifications in it, I'm pretty good with computers, no current training though. At the end of the day I want to feel like I've helped people, made them happy. I'm not good at turning up every day at a certain time like you, I want the flexibility of working when I'm at my best, be that 10 pm at night or 10 in the morning.

I drifted into admin work and due to having kids fairly young, moving around a lot, I've never had a chance to get anywhere. Add chronic illness into the mixture ...

My English language skills are very good, spelling and grammar, but getting into proofreading is very difficult.

Thanks for your reply.
I am top of the scale, so hard to take s huge pay cut.

Have had my confidence ripped to shreds.

So another rejection this morning, I thought the interview went really well but they want more flexibility which I am gonna struggle on, it was a very basic job which I could've done on my head but still the rejection is a downer. How do you deal with it? I have another interview for the start of December again a basic job. My previous work was really full on and I had to think creatively but it needed full time commitment which is out of the picture now. I'm worried I'm gonna be bored as I did a job for 3 months about 18m ago which was just repetitive and brain numbing. How can I reset my brain into doing a less demanding job, I actually seem to work better and enjoy the pressure. Feeling very down again.

@AJS2019, I'm sorry to hear that, that's rotten luck.
I've had a similar rejection recently, and really struggled to accept it.
One thing I would say - I don't know if you have been on the other side of the recruitment table at any point, but I have interviewed and can tell you that of the candidates we rejected, most of them could have done the job really well. It came down to issues which weren't anything to do with their ability or their likeability. In other words, rejection feels horribly personal, but 99 percent of the time (in my experience), it's not. I hope that helps a tiny bit.

@AJS2019 too basic maybe? The more advanced it is, the less folk can do it, the less the competition....

@GuyFawkesDay I am really sorry to hear that. It's brutal when you're pecked apart and have to put self back together. Been there and done that. What would you say to yourself, if you were talking gently and kindly to yourself about it all?

Another application rejection! This one I spent ages on tailoring the app form to the job, today I have been reinventing my CV again! Nothing to apply for though, its very quiet for part time work here in the South West. Been reading up on using keywords from Job specs etc but I can't help feeling if everyone does this surely we all sound the same? I like to make my personal statements personal to the jobs but I am starting to think they want robotic descriptions, should I try that and see what happens? Any tips on bagging an interview other than spouting out the buzz words from the JDs? Also read up on how to go about adding accomplishments but I find that the most difficult because I didn't really have any to boast about plus I'm terrible at bigging myself up. Job hunting is totally consuming me at the moment, should I take a break for a few days?

How old is too old to change direction? Or are you never too old? (Asking as a 51 year old).

@AJS2019 yes. Call before you apply. Ask insightful questions based on a. Good understanding of what the jd said and the company does. Drop in your previous experience. Ask them about the future of the company and what they are excited about for the coming years. Then make sure they know your name and if appropriate, ask if you can send a copy of your application to them directly.

This increases your likelihood of interview by about 1000% because hardly anyone calls. You bow have a personal connection with the hiring manager and have extra info on which to base your covering letter.

@chocolatesaltyballs22 what shift do you have in mind?

From one industry to another, but a job which uses similar skills. Trying to be vague!

Hello so I made a call, I had a script to help me, felt really stupid asking questions about the company as in my position I don't really need to know, all they want is someone to do the admin, its not a big firm. Insightful questions work for someone who has a degree and wants to progress, I don't have a degree, I don't see myself progressing at my age. I want to work, do my bit and go home feeling like I'm contributing. To make matters worse a friend has just got a new job, one interview and offer the same day. It must be me, are there any jobclubs available to someone like me? I must need help, I am really pleased for her but feeling really upset with myself, need a good old cry now. Thanks for listening, sorry I look like a right old misery guts.

Well done on making the call! How did it end? Have you put in an application @AJS2019

Yes I've applied but I was thrown by an Indeed assessment which I didn't know was coming until I clicked send. The cheeky app then took me to some horrible tests which I felt I had to do as I'd already sent the application in an couldn't really avoid it, wish there'd been a warning! Some of the grammar questions were well tricksy. Oh well, live and learn. Thanks for your help, it's really good to get your input. All the best.

@AJS2019 it’s an adventure! Full of twists and turns! What happened next? Or rather, what will YOU make happen next? Gotta kiss a few frogs..,

It certainly is an adventure. I haven't heard from that job but its still open so I guess they won't make any contacts until all the apps are in. I've been busy putting in more applications, think I am getting better at them, I have a job offer on the table to consider over the weekend which I am not sure about (not enough hours) but its an offer and that's a boost. Really need to brush up on my interview techniques as I think I get brain fog and forget what I have researched and then just babble on and on. Any tips on how to go about not losing your way during an interview please? I am definately kissing lots of frogs and no princes in sight.

Hey, I've just come across this thread and I haven't read it all yet, but OP thank you thank you thank you for starting it! I'm at a real cross roads right now, and I've a 16 year old trying to decide what to do after his GCSEs AND we are relocating in 6 months so this thread is actually really helpful! I've got 6 months to decide and make a plan and prepare so I can hit the ground running when we relocate. I'm off to read the rest...

Thanks again!

Hey, I've just got the Kindle version of your book - I love audiobooks for the car too so I will get that as well!

If you're still answering questions, I wonder if you'd have any advice for me?

Like you've said about a lot of people, I fell into most of my jobs. I missed out on uni and worked abroad as soon as I left home - I got job as a newspaper reporter back when that was still a thing and before everything was online. It was great, but short lived because I had a time limited visa.

Moved back home and since then I've worked as a legal secretary (boring), PA to a director in the NHS (boring unless I was solving problems), fundraiser for a charity (loved the organisation and creative aspect but hated the sales-y stuff).
Then I worked in recruitment and despised it. I hate sales and there was a lot of that, although I did enjoy when I helped a client solve problems. I didn't enjoy the dog eat dog, exploitative nature of most of the people I worked with. After that job I vowed to never work for anyone else again because the company was so badly run and the management were criminal.

I had my youngest child and the most important thing to me then was to stay with him, so I trained and started working as a registered childminder. My youngest has ASD and couldn't handle the other kids so I had to give that up after 2.5 years. I couldn't work because of his issues, appointments etc, so I decided to do an HNC and HND in something that I was really interested in - photography. I could do it flexibly in my own time around caring for him. Unfortunately I got cancer during that, so it took me an extra year as I spent a year in hospital. I finished with a distinction (I love art, learning, researching and being creative) but then covid hit. Due to the blood cancer (now in remission!) I'm clinically extremely vulnerable so I've had to isolate since March! No photographing for me.

Well done if you're still reading!

Anyway. I've been isolating since March, but I couldn't do nothing as usual, so I started a food delivery business - I tried to think of something I could do to earn money where I didn't have to come into contact with other people. I enjoyed setting the business up, and learning how to build a website, learning the laws around producing food products for sale etc. But the day to day stuff once all the learning and creativity and innovation is over, is boring. I also absolutely hate selling, and while I've learned so much and read endless books about marketing, digital marketing, content creation, etc - it doesn't come easy to me to promote ME. Does that make sense? During this covid time I've also researched other genres of photography. During my HND I specialised in art, photojournalism and storytelling (fashion, lifestyle and weddings mostly). But since covid I've learned food and product photography, which has helped my food business and my mind!

I'm so sorry for the essay... Maybe I should write
long books to help people sleep

In your Ted video, you said think about things you've always done and you can't NOT do. When I was a kid I was always writing stories and plays and getting my friends to act them out. I also used to draw and just generally be creative a lot. I always try and work to a really high standard and will work really hard to make something fit my vision and be as good as it can possibly be. This goes for the silly little plays I wrote as a kid, to meals that I cook, to my work, jobs, organising my home, to my happiness and mental health.

My strengths are probably creative, innovative, strong work ethic and organisational skills, adaptable, attention to detail, always striving to progress.

Subject matter/passion: photography, art, storytelling photography, photojournalism, capturing emotion, problem solving

Impacts: interesting and challenging work, clients/audience loving what I produce, being sought after, earning decently.

Environment: a bit of working alone, a bit of working with others. Sorry, it sounds vague, but I've never really worked in a supportive team environment- that might be nice! Being self employed is good, but like you said, it's 80% sales and marketing and I hate sales.

But maybe all I can do is be self employed because what company would hire me with my non consistent work history?

I'm soooo sorry for the huge essay!

How's your baby? I'm sure they've started college by now!😂

@Hohohomerrychristmash he hasn’t quite graduated yet, but he is standing up! Isn’t it amazing how they go from a squiggly thing you can tuck into the crook of your arm, to standing up and biting the edge of their cot!!

Sounds like you’ve had a rough ride health wise, I’m sorry to hear that and glad to hear that this year has brought a little rest and healing. Also sounds like you are really good at trying things out and have been pro-active in exploring a range of avenues.

I wonder if the food/product photography could be a goer in the future as a business of itself?

The thing is, you are a creative and a doer. These personality types don’t like to sell or be involved in the haggle etc. So they work best alongside someone who does. Might you consider partnering with another person who fills some of the gaps?

For me, the move from freelance to business owner meant that I had a team and together we were better, more skilled and more resourced than me alone. I was once told that the definition of a successful business is that you could let it run for a period without you in the say to day, and it wouldn’t be carnage. So I try to head towards that. I would also say that setting up any business is amazing for personal development and growth. The downside is it can often take a few years before you see a decent income, so you often need to side hustle.

@AJS2019 congrats on the offer!!!!!!! Hours aside, do the culture and the work and the location suit you?

@JanetSnakeholeMacklin my pleasure. I really enjoy this thread! :) drop a message in anytime.

Hi, I haven't read the whole thread but will catch up on the rest over the next few days.
I'd be interested in career change options for working from home initially, between school hours. With the potential to progress to a full time role perhaps if I can eventually get some childcare help.
I have previously worked in childcare but really fell out of love with it, hated the paperwork because although I could do it just fine, I found it boring and a chore. Currently a sahm, I don't financially need to work but I want to be able to stand on my own two feet and need some accomplishments outside of the household and being Mum to 5 children.
I would prefer an admin based role, I quite enjoy getting stuck into researching things, predominantly I prefer to work alone but I do enjoy some interaction with others. I worked as a Saturday viewing person for an Estate Agent and quite enjoyed this role of flitting between meeting people just the once and then back to the office with just 1 other person. I don't like high pressure roles though (unless I become more experienced in a field I guess) I did wonder about working for an online estate agent but not sure that would fit around the children but I could build up to that I guess.
My issue right now is that I would want to work just 2 to 3 hours a day, perhaps evenings if one of the kids is ill... Home school covid crap situation!!! How can I find something like this just to dip my toes into?

Looking forward to exploring this thread over the next few days.. I have a 3 month old and I'm in awe of you for being able to keep this up!

Does anyone know if we can contact OP about their services or are they just posting on this thread only?

Hello @Rae34 you can always PM me. I’ve got a free career course pilot running atm and I’m happy to chat on the thread too. Apologies @Anonanon12 I don’t always get told when someone has posted.

Five kids! Five! I have just the one... it hoping for another this year!

So it sounds like research could be something to look at. Market research, policy work, business investigations... do you have a subject area you know you enjoy like property or food? That could help narrow down what you are looking for.

The ultimate flexibility is to be self employed and set your own hours. If you have the luxury of non-urgency and not having to make ends meet each month from your income, you can experiment! How could you make £100 doing research? For who? Try one client project, then reflect and try another. You might find the gig sites like upwork and people per hour, to be an inspiring place to experiment.

@angliski, this is a brilliant thread. I've seen your burnout webinar - I can recommend it to anyone else who's at the end of their work tether.

Reflecting on your career equation - can I ask for tips on how to recover from 'Environmental Bruising'? I love getting to know/ talking to people/helping them make changes/teaching adults and thought I could use these skills in a 'dream job', but the 'dream job' turned out to be a toxic environment. I'm now in a bureaucratic/far lower paid version of the job, where what I do is hugely rewarding, but there's no career progression and we're kind of managed with a stick wrapped in cotton wool. 'Oh we don't want you to do extra work...but if you do, it might just help to raise your profile in the team and help your career...' - only it never does.
I miss the old job and frequently get asked to do it in my private life (e.g. help friends with job apps/writing applications/writing articles/give advice on teaching). But the thought of pursuing this in a freelance capacity (which would be ideal) makes me feel sick and terribly sad. People have wide networks and I don't want to be 'found' by my old team.
I should say that I have had great working relationships before the old job and do in the current one, before I sound like a sociopath.

Happy New Year all, here we are again in another lockdown pah!! OP in answer to your Q I didn't accept the job as the hours were just too little and now hubs has a new job he starts in Feb which will hopefully allow him to take on more childcare and opens more opportunities for me, sods law we now go into lockdown!! Hey ho, if that job interview did one thing it was to confirm to me that taking any job for the sake of having a job is not an option for me. Sooo back on the applications train again, not alot out there right now especially part time. New Years Resolution: onwards and upwards, don't let the b** get you down. Happy hunting all.