OKey doke! I am going to go through everyone in turn here. Thanks for your patience.
@Loti92 I would always encourage people who feel they need a change, to begin exploring how to go about it. If you know you are tired, stressed, overwhelmed or out of love with your work, then something needs to shift. The first step is to explore what that something is - exactly.
If you search upthread, you will find an explanation of The Career Equation. Briefly speaking, what we want to be able to pinpoint is where the malfunction lies.
Is it in the skills you use?
Is it in your passion/interest for the job?
Is it in the results you get? (Impact - we call this)
Or is it in the environment - like the speed, bureaucracy, pressure, pay, flexibility, location etc.
What do you think?
Sounds like it is passion and environment from the little you have shared - but maybe come back and say some more?
The reason this is important is that sometimes, the shift we need to make is less grand than we feared. Maybe a different workspace, client, culture would address some of our concerns or maybe not. But it is hard to see until we know the exact nature of the problem.
The next thing to do is to work out which skills you want to sell. These can be things you previously dismissed as ' just how I am'. For example, I make a living from being very nosy. Comedians make a living from observing and performing. AirBNB hosts make a living from sharing space. So consider, what are your top 3 natural attributes? What do your friends always say about you? E'g good listener, great eye for style etc.
When you approach a career from a position of natural strength, making a change to doing that work feels less daunted as you are qualified by being you.
Come back to me on this and we can talk some more.
I hear you about confidence. But know that confidence increases when we start exploring whether the negative, critical voice is actually correct. In your case, the voice is saying - what can I do, I haven't got any other skills, it's too scary to change, I can't do it. These are just thoughts and feelings, they aren't facts. So we have to be a bit challenging and stand up to that voice, to make sure it isn't just making Trumpian declarations.
However, this voice is also valuable because it helps us and protects us and keeps us safe. It is helpful to have its cautionary warning about investigating what we do next, preparing for the change etc. All that risk management is useful, but we cannot let it stop us moving forward.
Look forward to hearing from you.
@ilovebrie8 Never too old to change direction. A recent survey I read, must find reference, said that 82% of people over the age of 47 who endeavoured to make a career change, succeeded. The advantage of 40 plus is that YOU ACTUALLY KNOW SOMETHING. You have lived, learned, had experiences and are a safe pair of hands. These things count for a lot. You also know yourself and what you want better. Give us a bit more info.
I work with a lot of folks in their 40-60 age bracket. Most of them astonish me with their talent, curiosity, commitment and their lack of confidence in these. Be more specific about your anxieties and I can be more useful. No sense in making assumptions.
@stillcountingmyvotes we spoke a bit earlier about burn out. A bit more on this is that the right environment won't cost you your sanity or happiness. I am really sorry to hear about your bullying experience. It sounds like the new role just doesn't quite cut the mustard.
Do you still love the things you used to? Could you explore the question, how could I have those things, at good pay and take care to put myself in a non-toxic culture?
The thing is, when we are upset, it is because we only see the past. We see a new job and think it will only be the same as the BS we put up with before. We see a potential lover/partner and we think they will shaft us like x did. But you are the situation are never the same again. You never step in the same river twice. The river is different and so are you. Just knowing that the lenses you have on are just lenses, can help.
@Vintage123 you have written a novel! This is amazing! Take a proper bow - really, that is a phenomenal achievement - and with a small person. How's the self publishing going? Amazing.
Can you just take some time to give yourself some creds! You have a small person, you have life and hormone transition raging and you are still finding the entrepreneurial energy to get a hobby business going- come on lady! You are an inspiration! What's the hobby.
" I have the perfect knack of talking myself out of something as opposed to giving something a go. "
I am sure lot of us feel this way. It's normal to resist change and going outside the comfort zone. It is what stopped us getting eaten by mammoths. People who do the stuff you want to do aren't any less scared, they just don't let fear stop them. What's the conversation you have inside before you drop something? Who is talking? What part of you do you think is feeling worried and what could you do to help her feel more safe?
I once took a stand up comedy training. The first gig or two went well. Then i suffered a crushing defeat. A friend, with a poetry night, asked me to do the final five mins. I did think that poets might not be in the stand up comedy laughing zone, but I agreed. I was right. They all stroked their beards through the whole set, they hadn't come to laugh! I totally died. I had to run down the street, fluffing up my aura and shouting 'it's ok, I am still alive, nothing is broken, I will survive this!' which was probably a funnier show for passers by than my stupid 5 mins set. Anyway, the thing is, most things don't kill us and we have to risk to learn. Stand up taught me to be ok with failing publicly, and this helped a lot.
Improv is an amazing thing to learn to make you more comfortable with 'exposure'. It's great fun too. See Maydays or Amused Moose online, they do some fantastic virtual improv classes I think.
@AJS2019 Sounds tough at the moment, sending a hug. Don't apply for stuff you don't want or are overqualified for. It makes you feel busy but it is likely to be a bad fit. If you are rural, take advantage of the changing work environment, you can now be hired by anyone, anywhere to work at a distance. My team has been entirely virtual this year and we met up about 4-6 times a year last year and we really do have a ball and are a very tight team. Who would your dream company or job be? What could you offer that company? Go specific, target and be determined.