Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Would you leave your dd/ds for 3 weeks to have training for a new job?

54 replies

lilymolly · 04/07/2007 10:13

DD is 18months old, and I have the opportunity to apply for a dream job.
This role allows me to have flexible hours and spend time with my dd once I have started, and will provide us with a good income.
I am not happy with my current job, and I am miserable, what ever job I get in my industry will involve some time away training.
My gut instinct is to go, as I am sure dd will be fine and adaptable, as she is very comfortable about staying away from me. I feel that this could change as she gets older, and think that is better to do this now not later iyswim?

Saying all that I prob wont get the job

Advice would be appreciated

OP posts:
fannyannie · 04/07/2007 10:19

If you're unhappy in your current job and this new job will give you what you want/need (flexible hours, time with your DD and a decent wage) then I'd go for it. You'll probably find it harder than she does

Original poster
lilymolly · 04/07/2007 10:25

Really do you not think she will bothered?

OP posts:
fannyannie · 04/07/2007 10:26

She may be a little unsettled for the first day or 2 (or may not actually some children just 'go with the flow) but I'm sure she'd be ok.

chocolatekimmy · 04/07/2007 10:39

I would do it (though I would have mixed feelings still) if I knew that she had the best care available whilst I was away.

So long as you know she will be well looked after whilst you are away, I would definitely go for it based on the future rewards for all of you.

Children are resiliant and adaptable so she will be fine - you will feel far worse than she will but it will pay off in the long term by the sounds of it.

chevre · 04/07/2007 10:41

will you be away for the whole 3 weeks?

sounds like it will be tough for you both but vvvvvv. worth it. miserable jobs = miserable lifes.

Original poster
lilymolly · 04/07/2007 10:53

3 whole weeks in New jersey, usa, so not as though I can come home on a weekend

OP posts:
MerlinsBeard · 04/07/2007 10:55

i personally wouldn't. but then i won't leave them for a night!

Wisteria · 04/07/2007 11:00

I would, it will be horrid at the time but all the more worthwhile when you get what you want. I bet it wouldn't be an issue if DP/ Dh needed to go away...
Think with dcs gut instinct is usually the best indicator.
Link up a web cam and read her a bedtime story every day?
I had to go to San Fran with work only for a fortnight when mine were a bit smaller and tbh I missed them far more than they did me, they were having far too much fun with their Dad and friends who helped out!
Think they were more interested in the pressies they got when I returned as I kept buying things because I missed the so much.

Good luck, not often a 'dream job' comes along, is it?

Original poster
lilymolly · 04/07/2007 11:01

How old where yours wisteria?

OP posts:
moopymoo · 04/07/2007 11:04

i would be very very tempted, probably beat myself up and go. short time for a long time. or any way you could take her plus minder with you? and have stay nearby?

Wisteria · 04/07/2007 11:06

2 & 4

Original poster
lilymolly · 04/07/2007 11:07

can not take her, I think that wuld be more disruptive for her tbh.

This may all be irelevent as I may not even get the job

OP posts:
Original poster
lilymolly · 04/07/2007 11:09

So wisteria they where aware that you had gone then?
I think the older they are must be harder, as they know what is going on.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 04/07/2007 11:14

Yes they were certainly aware I was away, we talked it through, showed them on a map etc. Don't think dd2 really knew what was going on but we spoke on the phone every night (webcam hadn't been invented then).
I know it's hard to leave your children but I do think it doesn't do anyone any harm as long as they have good care while you are away, you trust the carer and there is a good reason for it.

Wisteria · 04/07/2007 11:18

If it helps, mine have never suffered from separation anxiety or anything like that, not even on 1st day at nursery - I'm not sure if it has anything to do with me leaving them or not but they have always seen their Dad and me as equally responsible for their care and have always been happy staying away from home (as I was as a child). They have grown into independent, thoughtful girls and we're very close.

Original poster
lilymolly · 04/07/2007 11:23

sounds just like me dd, she will go to anyone..dp, childminder, grandparents, friends. She clearly loves me but is not a clingy child and is very well adjusted.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 04/07/2007 12:03

She sounds like she'd be fine with it then - so that just leaves you. Are you fine with it?

My Mum (fount of all wisdom and sadly no longer with us) always said that children like that were very secure and happy, she was a reception teacher so could make an informed decision.

Blu · 04/07/2007 12:09

Who would she be with while you were gone? I would do it - I would feel awful about it for the duration of the trip, but the benefits for yuo and her are so worthwhile that I would grit my teeth and bear it.
My friend has left her dd for work trips on and off since she was 9 months old, and she is the happiest most secure child I know. Dad and gp always looked after her in her own home.

Would it be possible to take dd and a gp with you? Expensive and maybe not practical - but an investment?

But I would go....

Kaz33 · 04/07/2007 12:14

Yes, DH did it a lot - it was incredibly disruptive and affected the kids. But that was regular travel, this is a one off. Strangely enough I think the fact that she is so young will affect her less. As long as she is surrounded with other people who make her feel secure, and regular telephone calls. She probably won't reply to you but just hearing your voice will be good.

Original poster
lilymolly · 05/07/2007 15:46

bump? still have not decided to go for it yet, any one any advice

OP posts:
Original poster
lilymolly · 05/07/2007 19:05

noone? boy can I kill threads

OP posts:
Dior · 05/07/2007 19:11

Message withdrawn

kama · 05/07/2007 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Wisteria · 06/07/2007 12:35

LM - What are you worried about exactly?

Hulababy · 06/07/2007 12:38

Not sure. Hard decision.

Even now DD is older I don't think I could leave her for so long. She has only ever been away for one night at a time. I would hate it I am sure.

The childcare for 3 weeks would be an isse for us, not sure how we would be able to manage it TBH.

But if you do have the childcare and this job will be great things longer term, it makes the decision very hard.

Swipe left for the next trending thread