City lawyer with toddlers can't cope

[RosieIrene]

I work FT at a city firm and have two dd 1 and 3. Have a full time daily nanny but still can't cope. Work all day, come home and put kids to bed and work all evening to make billable target or have to go to client functions. So stressed out that on weekend just want to sit in garden with kids and do nothing. Can't sleep, can't talk to anyone. How do people manage?

I never said as you were either. I just said husband doing more child care, childcare at weekends if you need it, much more outsourcing of dross domestic jobs, a night away from the children from time to time etc and most important feeling you just have to do a good enough job even if you don't think it's 100% with children or work perfection.

By the way Xenia I thought your post of last night was boss.

And Enids.

I didn't claim you had sworn at me or used foul language and I don't think you did. I said using "bollocks" was an emotional outburst, and the example you give backs that up (you even define it in those terms "a statement of complete disagreement tinged with some surprise"). So you have proved my point .

PFB - again, you prove my point, emotional use of language because it's a shorthand for something that is not widely understood (see other posters for confirmation) and therefore creates misunderstanding and hence the feeling that one is being dismissed.

So if I say PIP, for example, because no-one understands what it stands for, I am being emotional and dismissive[perplexed]

Caroline1852 - thank you. That's how I feel - quite happy with the choices I have made, quite realistic about the path I haven't taken, I know my losses and gains and try to do what I have chosen to do well and with enjoyment.

That obviously irks a lot of people. Which I think is a pity.

Soapbox - if there is no context and no meaning in the word you are using, it is not possible to think anything about what you are saying (other than you are perhaps mad)

Caroline - yes, a bit weird that Issy is asking for advice on her rather major nanny problem given that earlier on this thread she told us how happy she was with her. I was rather left with the impression that Issy thought her nanny perfect in every way

Ah, no - a statement of complete disagreement tinged with some surprise is not an emotional outburst, it is a statement of complete disagreement etc. Do not understand how you equate the two.

Re PFB - I thought it was an acronym users of this site were very familar with. But not as widely as I had thought obviously. There you go - not sure why that is "emotional" though, using words other people don't understand?

For the record, I'm not irked by your career/non-career choice if that is directed at me. Although it would be a bit foolish of me to think every comment was specifically directed at me, wouldn't it?

Anchovy - no, it's a direct response to Caroline.

You came across as emotional and if either of those expressions had been used face to face during a conversation with me in real life in a similar context, I would have found that true too.

Anyway, why was my message deleted just cos I said Anna was a tit?

TIT TIT TIT

(two year old emoticon.)

This'llget deleted again now.

Mumblechum - Are you a nanny ?

LOL

Anna - how very bizarre. I mean that genuinely.

With due respect - I'm a lawyer, we like to say that - I think you are completely wrong, possibly to the point of being obtuse. But there you go.

Anchovy - I've worked with lots of City lawyers and I know the "with due respect" thing. Part of your jargon.

Maybe "bollocks" is part of your jargon too. In much of the world, you just can't say it with out without sounding as if you have no self-control.

What did Mumblechums deleted post say...

Worryingly, I'm actually a lawyer.

Evidently not a very high flying one, tho!

It said that I'd been biting mytongue for several weeks on several threads but was going to say it.

Anna is a tit.

I can't be doing with Mrs Smug of Smug Apartment with Chandaliers and Polished Floors in Paris with Perfect Slim DH and Perfect Child.

god is this STILL going on? zzzzzzzzzzzzz
this is almost as torturous as my weekend break thread ffs

i an say bollocks with complete self control.

And indeed you do custy

Mumblechum

No chandeliers (gross)
Partner could definitely lose a few kg - they've been hanging around superfluous to requirements and even intake despite him having left the restaurant industry over four years ago

I'm not smug. But I am content with many of my choices (though of course I'd love my bank account to be filled up a bit more). Do you not perceive the difference?

oh the temporary joy of hubris, enjoy it while you can!

Apologies that this conversation has been deflected by issues re. my nanny.

Somewhat amazingly both the following statements are absolutely true:

"I'm pretty sure that the quality and quantity of conversation DD2 has with her nanny is far superior to anything that I could offer. DD2 is nearly 5, her nanny is a KS1 teacher with 8 years experience, the attention span of a Buddha and (for children) the patience of the apocryphal saint. I'm well aware that in the thoughtful, consistent, appropriate and affectionate stimulation and care of a pre-schooler she has me beaten to flinders. That's why I've been happy to pay her a heap of money and will continue to do so until DD2 goes to school in September. "

"she dislikes me and I suspect, whilst she could write as fairly about me as I've done about her, finds my whole personality profoundly irritating. Always has done."

It's a complex and subtle world out there and I would hope that I'm sufficiently fair to recognise the quality of her work with my children notwithstanding the difficulties in our relationship. If she wasn't so very good, I wouldn't have employed her for this long.