City lawyer with toddlers can't cope

[RosieIrene]

I work FT at a city firm and have two dd 1 and 3. Have a full time daily nanny but still can't cope. Work all day, come home and put kids to bed and work all evening to make billable target or have to go to client functions. So stressed out that on weekend just want to sit in garden with kids and do nothing. Can't sleep, can't talk to anyone. How do people manage?

Anchovy - I think perhaps Anna has overlooked the fact that you have no need to 'appear' intelligent [pmsl] nor to 'defend your position'.

Perhaps Anna is projecting...

Anchovy

You write some interesting and reasoned posts and I understood your earlier points of view and thought they were very helpful to the OP.

But when you respond to mine with "bollocks" and "PFB" I think that you dismiss a differing, but still reasoned, point of view in an emotional outburst.

I don't think I would classify those posts as emotional outburts. And I also don't think your posts are "differing but reasoned". That's been my point all along. You make accusations, you don't provide supporting evidence even when it is requests, you provoke peopl, and the you turn around and say that their responses are clear evidence of their own insecurities. When their reactions are in fact proportional to your provocation.

soapbox - I don't agree.

The OP asked for advice. What's the point of proffering it if it isn't reasoned and intelligent?

Anyone can write "well obviously the answer is to carry on working and f**k to stress, you must support the sisterhood" or "give up work now, that's the only answer, you'll be fine."

But that's not going to help the OP one little bit, is it?

but neither is your constant banging on about your daughter's language skills - the prodigious nature of which can only be achieved by the contant presence of her mother

Anchovy's advice has consistently been 'intelligent', Anna. On this thread and any other thread that she has posted on to do with this topic.

Have you spotted any advice from her that wasn;t intelligent?

MrsW

"You must support the sisterhood?" Oh you are having it on. If someone said that and I missed it, please point me to it. I need a good laugh.

The Divine Secrets of the WOHMan sisterhood. Who shall star in it?

Anchovy - As you seem to be engaging in a post mortem of this thread, would you mind explaining this statement:
""
I understand that PFB is short for precious first born, I am interested in why you were thinking it as it was not exactly on topic.

The OP asked how other people managed it. And there has been some good advice in the thread.

Get your dungarees and Lezzer hairstyles out sisters

MrsW

Caroline - Anchovy's question was directed at Anna's long euloigies about her perfect parenting of her DD.

Stand away Mrs Wobble and Anchovy, you know it's not worth it. Come and vent your understandable irritation by delivering a few short sharp slaps on this thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2300&threadid=339851

It's Issy by the way!

The Divine Secrets of the WOHMan Sisterhood

For some constructive advice for Rosie Irene -- hope she comes back.

Ah, no - the bollocks and PFB were aimed at you, not "defending my position" or wanting to appear intelligent.

RE "Bollocks": it has been judicially accepted to be understood as an expression of disbelief rather than a swear word. Honestly. There was a very interesting case where a referee in a football match took an action and a player who did not agree said "that's bollocks, ref" and was sent off for foul and abusive language (I think it was extra amusing as it was after about 4 mins of a game). It was later overturned on the basis that it was agreed that saying something was "bollocks" was now widely accepted and understood as a strong statement of lack of agreement rather than foul language. I used it as a statement of complete disagreement tinged with some surprise.

RE PFB, that was meant to be an observation of someone with one child who says things that we have all done when we had only one child. It was really meant to be observational - possibly defending you a bit by saying (in shorthand) "look, don't be too mean to her, we've all been a bit like that when we only had one child who we were completely besotted by". I started a thread a couple of months ago which ran and ran about PFB'isms which we look back and wince upon - I think it is our very own version of Pseuds Corner - and I think I was generally acknowledged as a prime offender with my view that it "wasn't fair to take DS out to compare with other children as he was so much more alert than them" when in fact he looked like a cheerful potato.

Interestingly I also did wonder whether you did not speak English as a first language, which someone else I think asked.

Apology not necessarily required but I would accept it graciously

soapbox - no, not perfect parenting - enjoyable parenting which I think is a perfectly reasonable life choice for an adult and doesn't deserve to be slated or reduced to housework.

Oh, just seen Caroline's query, which I think I've now answered.

LOL at cheerful potato - how many languages does your little spud speak Anchovy?

Oh, I have enjoyable parenting too.

Do many people not?

Issy - have got to go to a technical roundtable discussion now - will try and look at your other thread this afternoon.

I have read the thread twice. I do not see any eulogising from Anna. It is often quite discomforting when someone is clearly happy in a role that you just can't get on with. I think Anna was genuinely trying to help the OP by offering up a formula that clearly works for her and her family. Some other posters' advice seems to be "as you were - no point trying to look for a solution" which makes me wonder if there is a bit of schadenfreude at play.

Can you point out to me those posts that say there is no point in the OP looking for a solution?

Quite interesting that the thread Issy is inviting us all to join concerns a nanny problem .