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Original poster

Affair with boss

49 replies

user1485639128 · 28/01/2017 21:42

I am an outside contractor for several different work sites.

I have been sleeping with a married managing director and his wife has found out. She called me today.

I do not have a written contract with this company, but I have been there for 6 years now.

He asked me to cover for him by not revealing he whole truth and I did. I feel awful for not being completely honest with her but I do not know this woman so I have no loyalty to her.

I am due to go back in on Monday afternoon and don't know what to do or where I stand. I have heard from him since I spoke to her so I don't whether this will affect my job. Can he just get rid of me after 6 years whether I have a contract or not?

OP posts:
OnceUponATimeInAVest · 28/01/2017 21:45

If you're an outside contractor he's not your employer, right? How can you not have a contract?

But, realistically, your affair is over and you need to look for another job.

Original poster
user1485639128 · 28/01/2017 21:48

I only referred to him as my boss because he is the one who pays me. I'm not bothered about it ending. It was just sex. I just wanted to know where I stand in terms of whether he can stop me going in there after 6 years of service. I'm classed as self employed

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 28/01/2017 21:49

Did you post about this the other week?

Original poster
user1485639128 · 28/01/2017 21:49

No this is my first time posting on this site

OP posts:
IhatchedaSnorlax · 28/01/2017 21:57

Unless there's a way to claim they're your substantive employer, then I think they can get rid of you quite easily claiming the contract is finished.

I'd be tempted to seek legal advice.

LauraAndBaby · 28/01/2017 21:58

Why would you sleep with someone when you know there married? if women actually stuck to the 'girl code' and didn't sleep around with men when they know there in a relationship then men wouldn't be able to cheat, and all these women who feel so low, and hate themselves and blame themselves and wonder why they wasn't good enough wouldn't exists. Tbh whatever happens now will be your karma. Feel so sorry for the poor lady who's just found out you've been sleeping with her husband.

OnceUponATimeInAVest · 28/01/2017 22:03

CAB and ACAS.

Given that the MD has asked you to lie to his wife for him, I think he will probably not want to piss you off too badly in the near future, in case you get annoyed and start spouting the truth inconveniently.

But then again, keeping his wife sweet may well involve getting rid of you.

If you are not an employee you do not have employee rights. If you don't have a contract it will be difficult to argue he's breached it.

Original poster
user1485639128 · 28/01/2017 22:05

Thank you. That's what I thought. I will contact ACAS Monday morning to see if I have any rights

OP posts:
CaravanOnCraggyIsland · 28/01/2017 22:06

Yeah because the man in this situation has no culpability whatsoever. The OP ensnared the poor bloke with her Venus fly trap of a vagina.

Shame on you OP, take your glittery man trap elsewhere. No vajazzling in the girl code.

Sarcasm aside, I would probably look for a new position just for your own sanity.

Original poster
user1485639128 · 28/01/2017 22:09

CaravanOnCraggyIsland

You got me lol The poor defenceless man didn't have a chance.

I was planning on finishing at that place, but on my own terms

OP posts:
LauraAndBaby · 28/01/2017 22:14

Not quite sure why you find it funny? Yes the man is also to blame, but the fact you knew he was married and still decided to sleep with him is wrong. There's a women out there who's probably heartbroken right now because her marriage has ended, and you think it's all a joke.

Original poster
user1485639128 · 28/01/2017 22:18

No it's not a joke but I'm not the one who cheated on my partner. I will not be made to feel guilty for that!

OP posts:
TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 28/01/2017 22:26

Obviously this man is a total dog but you should also feel fairly guilty. You may not have been married to her but you were knowingly sleeping with somebody else's husband. What a shame you couldn't have had sex with somebody single, given that sex is all it was to you and you're not even bothered that it's over. The "lol" is both immature and fairly vomit inducing when you've been complicit in wrecking somebody's happiness. Can't say I feel any sympathy for your working situation. Maybe if you valued the contract you shouldn't have got involved in a sexual relationship with the MD. Even if he keeps you on it's not exactly a situation conducive to a healthy working relationship.

heateallthebuns · 28/01/2017 22:29

No but you cheated with someone else's partner. He should feel guilty but so should you. Just coz he was wrong doesn't make you right.

Pretty stupid thing to do if you value the job also.

CaravanOnCraggyIsland · 28/01/2017 22:34

Joking aside, the tone of the post Laura made implied that it was all the OP's fault with no thought to the man involved in it all.

It takes two to tango, and whilst I'm not defending the OPs decisions, I find the double standard ridiculous.

LauraAndBaby · 28/01/2017 22:34

You should both feel guilty, who gave you the right to ruin someone's marriage & someone's happiness. It makes me feel sick, it's like you have no respect for yourself

LauraAndBaby · 28/01/2017 22:38

Caravan yeah maybe it did come across like I was just blaming OP, but she's still in the wrong. Look how many people they are in the world, why go for someone in a relationship. I just feel sorry for the other women in all of this!

heateallthebuns · 28/01/2017 22:39

It's not a double standard, both cheater and ow are doing a cruel thing and should feel guilty.

LauraAndBaby · 28/01/2017 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yogalatte · 28/01/2017 22:42

I hope you lose your job GrinBike

CaravanOnCraggyIsland · 28/01/2017 22:42

Yeah I feel sorry for her as well, but the guy in this is obviously a total douche. If he valued his marriage, he wouldn't have been sleeping around. If it wasn't the OP, it would have been someone else I reckon.

Lunar1 · 28/01/2017 22:43

Just because he's a complete shit for cheating on his wife doesn't mean you're an innocent bystander, or do you think you can behave how you want with no consequences?

Original poster
user1485639128 · 28/01/2017 22:45

I haven't claimed to be innocent in this. I just don't feel guilty for it. Thank you to those who have left helpful posts

OP posts:
LauraAndBaby · 28/01/2017 22:46

Caravan this is exactly why I said if only women stuck to 'girl code' then men couldn't cheat! I know it sounds cheesy but it's true Hmm

heateallthebuns · 28/01/2017 22:47

Yeah he is a douche and he could have slept with someone else. He might be doing that! Doesn't absolve op of guilt still. Two wrongs don't make a right.

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