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Feel like I am being pushed out of my job..advice and help needed!

104 replies

joesy43 · 06/10/2016 10:34

I have been in my job for 27 years. I work in a team which is myself providing admin support to lawyers. In July I had a few words with a junior who had discussed with others that it was inappropriate I had read out an email from another to my boss where I was mentioned. After asking her why she felt it was as it was about me and that I monitored his emails so I would see this, she said in case he got to hear about it.

The following week I received a call from HR asking me to ring them and when I did they said allegations had been made against me..they were as mentioned above and what that was about, alleging I had called another PA my boss' girlfriend and was reading out their emails. I explained about the email being about me and I denied saying 'girlfriend' and that I read emails between myself and the PA and not between my boss and her. A few days after this I was asked to do a vc between myself, boss and HR as they were in different offices. My boss basically interrogated me and raised other allegations one being discussing another PA booking travel? I defended myself as best I could and days later an email was sent stating he was not taking it further, no action was to be taken but if more allegations came to light action may be taken. I did not see him until about 3 weeks later and from then he says morning and goodbye and any requests for work were emailed or handwritten and left on my keyboard. We also had a girl who left and another on temp contract who I was very friendly with and both at their leaving interviews said how bad atmosphere is, no communication and an us and them attitude.

Last week I had my mid year review. When I entered the room, the HR girl was there also?..they started by saying there were issues that needed resolved and a bad atmosphere. I seemed to be very unhappy etc and then the knives were out..I was reactive not proactive..I needed to be looking at travel a month ahead and see what needed booked. I had booked a hotel the week before that was 25 mins away from event. I said I google mapped it and it said 15 mins..that I was leaving her stuff and she was having to do the admin when she had enough to do (this is a lie). The HR girl had the cheek to insult me when she asked if I needed to sit down with another PA to see what I should be doing! So it was left we will come back in a few weeks to see if there are improvements! Prior to this, my actual review was beg of year and in all sections I got valued performer. Needless to say I left the room, went downstairs, a colleague spoke to me, I broke down badly, he went to get the HR girl and she took me to a room and I said I felt I was picked on badly and needed to go home.

I have been signed off for stress/depression. My husband has told me he doesn't want me to go back. I am sick with worry, have lost weight, knots in my stomach, not eating, really bad anxiety. I need some HR advice and other please..thank you

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 15/10/2016 09:06

Ok OP deep breath.

I would think very carefully going into such a small firm from a larger firm.

I did this (friend of a friend), at first the other secretary was lovely, sweet, kind, I was her new best friend at work etc.

Then a temp who was also a close friend of both secretary and our boss came into work (at my suggestion) as a temp for us. For a while it worked fine but when I got "managed" by the temp/friend and given suggestions I didn't want to take up things got nasty and I ended up being bullied. Before that I was "separate" from friends/work and didn't let it touch me, I was left on the other sec's PC (mine had broken due to a virus) "shown" an Email about them both bitching about me and it turned into a full on bullying scenario where my boss did nothing about it, until I threatened to take it further. This office could be fine but as another poster said the secretary was very much the Queen Bee and was fine with me knowing my place but not when things got strange. I'd never work in such a small office again!

I'd hang on and keep looking bound to be new jobs in spring and hopefully you can hold on til then.

Think about what user says too, is there any other job you've always wanted to try etc? Could you do it financially?

joesy43 · 15/10/2016 10:44

I hear what you are saying. This is their second office on top of the one in the city. It includes reception work also. I guess it could be a young girl or maybe someone my own age. There is room to expand here so may be others coming in. I just think that two weeks ago I was thinking of leaving without a job and living off our savings until I got something. It can't be any worse than what I have been working with. I won't know unless I take it.

OP posts:
joesy43 · 15/10/2016 10:51

My current situation..a boss who does not communicate/interact much with his team, only when he has to, a cold senior who has warned others not to get friendly with someone below them, a junior who is scared to make a wrong move/mistake and does anything to impress her, they reported me to HR over an email, they go out for drinks just the two of them and only asked the others to make themselves look better, the senior needs to know where you are if you are away from your desk, two others who left described how awful the atmosphere was and told me she cried in the car before coming into work....I don't want to see them again ever

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 15/10/2016 11:42

Ok if you take it then do as I did (unless you want to immerse yourself and be friends) with and keep your life separate.

Otherwise really these places are ripe for breeding Queen Bees etc.

I know you're unhappy now but you still have a job and could job hunt more. Tons more jobs are advertised in spring than opposed to now.

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