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Original poster

"it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view."

567 replies

hunkermunker · 15/01/2007 00:29

Xenia says "it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view."

I am interested to know what other people do in this situation.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 15/01/2007 00:31

Leave it home alone with a bucket to puke in and a timer so it knows when to take more Calpol. Obviously.

NurseyJo · 15/01/2007 00:31

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Skribble · 15/01/2007 00:32

well the nanny deals with all that stuff anyway

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/01/2007 00:33

shame its the law then, isnt it?

Linnet · 15/01/2007 00:33

I'm very lucky in that I've never been in this situation as I work days and my dh works evenings so if one of our dd's is sick one of us is always with them.

But dh has had to call in sick once when I was very ill and so was dd1. Dd2 was only a baby and there was no way I'd have been able to look after the 3 of us while dh was at work as I couldn't even lift my head off my pillow, so he had to call in sick to look after us all.

NurseyJo · 15/01/2007 00:34

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/01/2007 00:34

Or, does she mean feign sickness because a child is unwell?

Pixiefish · 15/01/2007 00:35

I had to give up working as work disliked me taking time to take my dd to the hospital for her eczema appointments on a monthly basis. Naff all I could do as she has bad eczema so I ended up having to resign

NurseyJo · 15/01/2007 00:35

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UCM · 15/01/2007 00:35

HM some old git at work once said to me after one of my female colleagues had phoned in sick. Well you women will have babies and then expect everyone else to pick up the pieces?

Don't worry I told him he was a nob and I didn't even have children then.

Xenia is a one track pony anyway. She only talks about three things. Her work, how important it is and how much she earns. I was sympathetic at first as I felt she got jumped on but now I am bored with it all.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 15/01/2007 00:37

"By Xenia on Sun 07-Jan-07 18:29:54
pig, it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view. It's a sexually neutral issue and for women to do it does them down and is not in their long term interest at work. They and the men need suitable childcare which is why those I know have set ups like live in nanny plus au pair or arrangements with back up nanny services which my sister uses. Yes I know partners work long hours too, of course they do.

By piglit on Sun 07-Jan-07 18:26:40
I have to say I'm with jampots on this, Xenia. I'm not really sure what experience you have personally of working at big City firms (other than just having mates who work there). The practical reality is very different from the theory and it's certainly not all black and white. In my own case dh is a partner at one of the big accountancy firms - can you really see him phoning in and cancelling meetings because "the nanny is sick and my wife took her turn being at home last time". Purleeease. It just doesn't work that way.

I don't like your sweeping generalisation that we "put in the long hours whilst junior, just when you're about to get the gold you choose to go hoome to iron the husband's shirts and clean the bottoms of the babies. Cannot fathom all these women who love taking that choice." For a start if you knew anything at all about being a partner in a city firm (lawyers or accountants) you would know that the partners nowadays do just as long hours as anyone else, and in many cases even more.

Just because I chose not to go back to my old job doesn't mean my days are made up of ironing shirts and changing bottoms. Personally I think it's important for children to have their mothers around. But then that's something you and I will never agree on.... "

OP posts:
Pixiefish · 15/01/2007 00:43

forgot to add - there was no mention of dh giving up his job btw- I would never have thought to discuss it and we both earned similarly

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/01/2007 00:46

Well, its a bit of a nonsense really, isnt it?

Having a live-in isnt convenient for all working parents. Therefore, if a child in childcare is ill, and the carer refuses to have the child because of the type of illness, then there is little that can be done.

Which of course, is why their is legislation that says that it is acceptable for parents to take (unpaid) leave due to a breakdown in childcare arrangements, because illness falls under this banner very often. The same applies if the main childcarer falls ill and cannot look after the child.

Therefore, it IS acceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick - the law states this is so.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/01/2007 00:46

there not their, fgs.....

uwila · 15/01/2007 09:11

If you need to stay home to take care of a sick child, then you are of course entitled to do that. But, you either take a paid holiday or unpaid parental leave. To call in sick yourself is a bold faced lie and probably grounds for disciplinary action, if not dismissal.

I don't know what Xenia meant, but if she meant that you shouldn't call in sick when you are not telling the truth, then I agree with her.

When the DCs (or the nanny) are sick, DH and I take turns staying home. So, having live-in childcare doesn't always get you out of these things.

Freckle · 15/01/2007 09:20

I think it is terribly sad where the work ethic in this country is veering towards just earning money and climbing the greasy pole, with no concern or empathy towards society as a whole. Society will not continue without children. Children are the future of our race. Why should work come before caring for our future?

OK some people choose not to have children. That is their choice, but that shouldn't mean that everyone who has children must work in exactly the same way as them. Not everyone who works earns enough to pay for live-in care, or nannies, or au-pairs. The vast majority of families where both parents work do this because they couldn't cope financially otherwise and there is rarely any money left over for such luxuries.

Employers need to understand that, for the company to prosper and progress, it needs a happy and settled workforce. You are not going to get that by stressing out half of your employees by demanding that they work as though their families didn't exist.

expatinscotland · 15/01/2007 09:21

So what are you supposed to do?

Oh, yes, of course, leave it w/the live-in nanny!

You know, the one who's speech Master Xenia was told it is impolite to correct.

Gimme a break!

If you're a prole and your child is ill and the nursery won't take them, well, I guess you don't have a lot of options, have you?

In the real world . . .

fennel · 15/01/2007 09:25

well I find if you take a sick child into work and it vomits or wees over your colleagues, or over their smart clothes/bags, they are subsequently fairly happy for you to stay at home with them next time they are ill.

expatinscotland · 15/01/2007 09:25

And thou shalt not say you are ill as well.

That's right up there w/human trafficking.

Lying to your employer!

God, what could be worse? Phoning in and saying you're ill when your 'illness' is actually a hangover? Or a lack of sleep for shagging your new boyfriend?

God forbid anyone have a real life outside work and need a duvet day every now and again!

No!

You cogs all need to fit in the machine, you know.

[rolls eyes]

choosyfloosy · 15/01/2007 09:25

I'd rather say ds was sick than me, as I don't want a huge sick record stacked up when I leave. The reason I give is 99% of the time the truth, because I have a reasonable employer, and also because I feel less guilty taking unpaid leave.

But I also don't care about the odd lie to work. In particular, I have sometimes lied when it was in fact dh who was sick, and who needed me - i have said it was ds.

Cloudhopper · 15/01/2007 09:27

Blatantly ridiculous if you ask me.

In the NHS you are specifically allowed 5 paid days per year which are nominated "carer's leave". This applies whether you are caring for children, your partner or elderly relatives. Managers are also pretty flexible for people with broken boilers, home emergencies and emergency dentist appointments.

To expect people to behave as though they have no additional responsibilities is counter productive when you are talking about lower paid, two income families which i believe applies to most NHS workers.

Another reason, along with the pensions, why some people are probably better off choosing an employer that treats you as a human being instead of an android.

twinsetandpearls · 15/01/2007 09:29

It has only happened once when dd had chicken pox and dp and i split the days. Although dp does loose pay and did get into trouble as dd is not his and he is not entitled to any famiy daysWe will soon have live in childcare so that will make life simpler, although I suppose it would depend how ill dd was. If she was very ill and upsetit would not be fair on her or the aupair for anyone but me or dp to look after her. But I ahve deliberatly chosen a career that is quite understanding of such things.

Twiglett · 15/01/2007 09:36

oh come on

Xenia is Judge Flounce

all the signs are there

why am I the only one who thinks this

oldies .. come and back me up

Jessajam · 15/01/2007 09:37

And if the child is in hospital? Do you send the farking au pair then?

DH and I try to work out who has the least pressing work engagement that day and act accordingly.

emkana · 15/01/2007 09:37

I'm with you twig