"it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view."

[hunkermunker]

Xenia says "it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view."

I am interested to know what other people do in this situation.

Not sure she's JF - she doesn't appear to drink as much .

However, for someone who claims you have to work ridiculous hours to earn the money she does - and buy an island - she seems to spend an awful lot of time on here.

I agree that you shouldn't say you are sick when it is really your child, if you cannot arrange alternative childcare or you choose to stay at home with your sick child then you should take the time unpaid or take a day's holiday.

Exactly freckle.

I think Twiglett might have a point.

In an ideal world of course it is unacceptable to pretend to be sick when you're not.

But if the law was acceptable, then so would employees' behaviour be.

I see Twiggy's POV.

legal persona, although thankfully this time not dispensing advice
easily found / trackable CV on internet
lots of time spent here
contentious views to gain attention

if it wasn't so obvious it would be quite sad tbh

I knew this would be a Xenia quote...

but you see she has a £1.1 million mortgage. In Pinner. I bet she doesn't dare take a day off for any reason.

Now you mention it Twig there is a similarity in tone...

Sorry, Twig. I'm not with you. Xenia is not judge flounce.

Each year when I plan my holiday for the year, I reserve 5 days for unplanned sick child/nanny occassions. I have used them all this year. This is just part of being a parent. It is not something my company owes me.

I'm a SAHM and this is one of the reasons I find I'm fortunate not to be in the work-force. Dd has been sick so often with scarlet fever (30x perhaps), regular tonsilitis, ear infections , not to mention tummy bugs and viruses for the 6 years of her life so far, I just could not have kept up a job without ill feeling. She was at home sick more than she was ever in kindergarten. Thankfully it does seem to be changing a bit now she's at school.

Frankly my dc is more important to me that most jobs would be so if I felt I needed to lie about why I was taking time off so I could keep her at home when she's sick, I probably would.

I think what Xenia feels (my impression from other posts) is that it is about good organisation and planning ahead for any eventuality which she thinks a lot of dm are crap at. She may be right. I hardly ever plan ahead much.

She's not JF - I thouoght that and PPH put me right- she knows her in R/L (or at least knows who she is).

If you know PPH's specialism then you can very easily get to Xenia's own business website

Go on - see how long it takes you!!!!

I think what Xenia was trying to say is that in a particular type of job - City Lawyer - getting appropriate cover is important, in that pulling out of a deal because you have a sick child is not tolerated. She also said that it shouldn't always be the mother who pulls out of work, but should be shared with teh father.

If you look at Hunkers quote - you will see that Piglit also agrees with Xenia by saying that it would be totally unacceptable for her DH (an accountancy partner) to pull out of meetings because of a sick child.

I've not really had too much trouble with sick children, because they are very healthy lucking - but minor illnesses have always been covered by the nanny. The couple of times it has been anything serious, DH and I have worked something out between us depending on our diaries.

DEfinitely a troll.

Xenia works fromhome and is her own boss, which allows her to type on MN as and when she wants. I'm sure she works in between.

yep, obviously far more acceptable to post on mumsnet than to take occasional time off with a sick child

priorities, after all.

I know women like Xenia, although I prefer her to them but then again I have not mether in person!

She may be who she claims to be but she is a troll nonetheless IMO because I think she deliberately posts things to provoke "heated debate"

But istn't heated debate good for us, I don't think she has ever been nasty. She is good at bringing us all togther in unity against her if nothing else!

oh I know her CV is easily trackable and there is a RL person out there with the particular circumstances so yes I know the person Xenia purports to be has these children and this career

but there was a RL JF too if you recall and the information was easily internet traceable too if you had a mind to do it

I can't belive we aretracking this woman , and I can't belive how frustrated I am thatI can't. I think I need to get out more, I can hearthe gym calling.

Heated debate is all very well but the poster always takes the minority, most-likely-to-cause-an-argument view which makes me think it's deliberate rather than a genuine belief. I have no problem with heated debate but it's wrong when there's someone out there deliberately prodding it for a laugh.

I kind of see where you are coming from Twig. Xenia reminds me of someone who posted extensively (and boy do I mean extensively) on a legal website aimed at junior lawyers and trainees. One of my trainees used to lurk on this website and told me all about these strange postings from an older woman. I think she became a figure of fun in the end.

As to the OP, the comment about parents not taking time off "just because" their child is sick made me shudder at the time and makes me shudder now.

But i know people who genuinely think they way Xenia does and it is not meant to provoke, it is just the view they hold and they passionatly believe everyone else would ahve an easier and more rewarding life if they were the same.

Personally, I think it is outrageous that any parent (mother or father, whoever feels strongly, copes best, whoever's turn it is) would leave their ill child in the care of someone else. I mean, who are we talking about? A childminder? A nanny? The nursery? In at least 2 out of those 3 cases, the sick child could be passing their illness on to another child and causing problems for another family. We don't all have extended family living near by, and even if we do, why is it better for them to give up their commitments to care for the child?

Employers who can't be flexible enough to accommodate the odd day off for parents of sick children don't deserve to have employees IMO. I don't work, but I suffer at the hands of the ridiculous demands placed on my dh in this current atmosphere of working every hour God sends. (Yet, even dh will take time off if one of the children is sick, since I have crippling emetophobia). So think about that: full-time SAHM and, on rare occasions, my dh still takes a day's holiday to help me care for the children!

I was given a sick note by my GP one week when DD had bad conjunctivitus and I couldn't go to work as a result - nursery wouldn't take her. I had just had a couple of days off sick myself (ongoing problem that work were aware of), but as a result it would have been difficult for me to call in and say DD was sick. My GP simply put family issues on the sick note.

I have had to take some time off when DD has been sick - fortunately not too much. DH can occasionally work from home. I can't. I get about 5 days a year paid IIRR.

If sick for a long time I do try and get help from PILs - my parents work, who fortunately live not too far from work. But if properly poorly I don't want to be making a sick child travel for an hour in the car, and besides they want mummy or daddy at that time.

If I had the type of work who would frown on this - and a lot do, even if taken unpaid - then I would phone in sick for myself. My child comes first not work.