"it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view."

[hunkermunker]

Xenia says "it is unacceptable for men or women to call in because a child is sick in my view."

I am interested to know what other people do in this situation.

It is sad if employers can't accomodate sick children but with most jobs there must be times when you are just needed atwork and other arrangements need to be made. I can think of occasions in my own very child friendly job when I ahve just needed to be there and for me to call in sick either for me or dd would just be unnaceptable unless I was in or getting close to my coffin.

Don't get me wrong .. I really don't care .. in fact I don't tend to interact with her threads because I prefer genuine conversations so it doesn't really bother me

I just wanted to say be warned .. enjoy all the emotions and wrath the viewpoints stirs up .. enjoy the heated debate .. but don't get emotionally involved with the poster or her life

There's an email contact button on her legal website - send her an email and ask her if she posts on MN as Xenia - because if she doesn't someone else pretending to be her is

Go on Soapy, you do it!
Very interesting detective work on here thanks ladies.

How do you know thatyou ahve the rioght xenia, there must be more than one xenia in her field.

Well said Twig. A number of us had our fingers burned last week so you think I'd know better.

Yes, caring for ill children is RIGHT up there w/a holiday.

The live-to-work mentality has to be the most intellectually vacuous concept around.

I think that xenia does not live in the real world.

Alright she has 5 children but she has never had to look after anyone of them as she admits to going back to work after 2 weeks.

In the real world parents do need time off if there are no other options.

There are very few times when I can't actually have time off work - the type of work I do means that it is very flexible. My clients aren't going anywhere in a hurry, my interviews can wait a few days.

Even DH, a solictior, can move things around if necessary. Phone calls to get his assistant or trainee to cover, phonecalls to cancel clients if need be. Would oly do latter if really needs to be home, but still possible.

Oh I love Xenia

she has no idea of the world that most of us live in and the compromises and struggles that we have

I see her sitting in her office in her maid-ironed clothes sipping dry martinis and wondering what we are all blithering on about, a puzzled frown crinkling her recently-facialled brow

she is a true innocent and that is beguiling and fresh in this complicated world

I'm interested that you budget 5 days for your child's sickness Uwila. What happens to your sickness budget if your child has 10 or 20 days sickness? How many days do you think is reasonable?

(The government thinks 5 days before the age of 6 or have I got that wrong? Is it 10 days? I can't remember)

I think a lot of people have the mentality of just judging people by their desk attendance and not their results. If you let people go and look after their lives most of them will pay it back by greater dedication and harder work - I know I certainly have when I've worked for a compassionate boss? I think some managers are just such insecure control freaks who only feel strong when their minions are under their noses. It's hardly visionary management is it?

I do agree with Xenia that it shouldn't just be mothers who do the "my child is sick" call though.

People who say "get real - my DH's job is more important than mine and there's no way he's going to ring up and say it's my turn" - I can understand that on one level, but the fact is as long as we accept that, it's always going to be women's job.

very much agree with ipanemagirl. Wanted to say something simlar but too tired, and luckily she said it better anyhow

A lot of mentions of me on this thread. Hm's quote was from the thread about people in special jobs where you earn huge loads and you know the deal - meetings can last all night, you City bonus could be massive, it's irrelevant whether you're black, white, female, male, a parent or have 20 cats and you're only as good as your last deal sort of work so I have been quoted a bit out of context, haven't I?

I think if it's always women who call in sick when their child is and not their husbands then they are damaging women and you might argue that's fairly morally disgusting as it engrains women as seen by employers as a problem and everyone then thinks men don't have time off. So make your husband have the day off unless you think he's a more important clever person who earns more and his work always comes firs tof course or he's a lazy so and so who never thinks about the children.

lol at 'special jobs'

for those that have husbands that is...I recall nearly losing my job over my sons run of chicken pox, anaphylactic shock and flu.
As I said to work. Nursery cannot and should not take him, I have no family support and I am a single parent. I made up all the time on a job which was pretty ordinary really - call centre pensions advice - 150 others doing same job
Hardly specialised
As it happens dp has taken time off when dd has been ill to support me and his job is very important, but as he said, not as important as keeping his family happy.
Any job which doe snot give you a certain degree of flexibility at times of extreme need is not worth it if you have kids, whatever the pro's
Ask Nicola Horlick...

Oh now I know where I was going wrong!

I need live in help.

OK, so I will need to pay a nanny's wages (c£300p/w??). We would also need to buy a bigger house with an extra bedroom to accommodate said nanny (c£40,000 on the mortgage). She would probably need a car as we are rural.

Hmm, looks like I will have to ask for double my salary. At least.

I could ask dh to look after her, as you say. He does his share when he is available but he is often away and later in the year will be working abroad from time to time. Better tell him to prepare to fly back from Spain at the drop of a hat then.

Back to taking days off when dd is ill then (out of my annual leave or unpaid).

Xenia, what planet are you on?

Amen, Piffle!

I used to wonder why my SIL stayed on the dole whilst her children were so young - she's a single parent, too.

I don't now.

did none of you listen?

Xenia is talking about special jobs

her advice is not for the likes of you

Well, yes, I knew that, Cappucino, which is why I always read her posts as a larf rather than taking it seriously.

I'm too much of a prole to ever live on Planet Xenia.

But then again, if I had to do nothing but work to get there, I really wouldn't want to, even for a visit.

In fact it was always easier for me to take time off than the children's father who is a teacher. People think teaching is flexible but it's actually in school time one of the hardest jobs to fit around domestic emergencies and if you're not there you know the burden it places on your colleagues and effects on the class.

Feel free to bolster the amusing image of the mythical Xenia bceause it's funny and I like it, but we had quite a lot of years of much money etc. I think you don't forget that.

The thread this came from was talking about senior professionals whose potential earnings are £1m - £2m a year. Even there if a child is dying or very sick indeed obviously all parents go to their child. A lot of parents don't use nurseries because of the sick child issue and if you have quite a lot of children nurseries become the more expensive option anyway.

Then perhaps she ought to find another site to post on. I suspect there are, at best, one or two people who post on here who are lucky enough to have "special" jobs. Her "advice" is fine for those in her circumstances, but, for the rest of us, it's just all fantasy.

If one earns "huge loads", does one require an oversize washing machine to cope with said abundance??? [puzzled]