Lost, one brain, answers to the name of becster. Reward.

[thebecster]

Anyone else having difficulty concentrating at work after coming back from maternity leave? I think it's partly sleep-deprivation (DS wakes at 11pm and 4am - I share night duty with DP, but still wake when DS cries even when it's DPs turn). My attention span is shot and I can't seem to get through the same workload I used to, can't follow things, keep getting confused in negotiations, keep procrastinating on the trickier tasks... I need to work and need to be good at my job, we rely on my income - help! Anyone else been through this? Did your brain come back after you'd been back a while?

My brain came back once I got some sleep, that'll be what's doing for you. I do sympathise, it's horrible being knackered. How old's your baby?

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What Senora?!

i hopeso anyway.

sorry - a joke to myself about being unable to communicate.

Well, I think lack of sleep is a lot of it.

But you've also got more going on. I found post children that my brain simply can't hold everything that I need it to now. I work a bit differently now - for example I have become the Queen of lists and I do more preparation for meetings than I used to - I never ever try to wing things because I come unstuck.

Good tip puddle - you're right I should prepare more. I used to 'wing' everything and rely on my memory to carry me through. I guess those days are over DAMMIT! I'll have to come up with systems to help me...

Wickedwinterwitch - my DS is 6 months. And oh I do hope you're right that it's just sleep. It's so long since I slept that I've adjusted and can't remember what a full nights sleep is like(couldn't sleep during pregnancy either because had HG and threw up all night, yuk!)

Senora - you're right on the money, that's just what I sound like when talking to clients these days !

Systems, systems... Anyone else in a job where they need to track lots of complex things & pick them up & sound like they know what they're talking about? If so, how do you keep track of it all? All my negotiations are via e-mail & I usually create a folder for each deal & click & drag each mail into the folder so that I can read the history. But reading the history then takes ages - it's hardly 'at a glance', there must be a simpler way? Any organised peeps around?

Make yourself a summary of each deal history in a word doc- add one bullet point for each piece of correspondence.

BTW it took me AT LEAST six months and probably nearer a year to get my brain back after going back to work. But now I actually feel sharper than ever because I have become better at juggling and stripping tasks down to the essentials rather than pootling about doing 'nice to have' stuff.

And more sleep will work wonders, it's true.

Intersting. I just left a meeting and was told the lady who had done the thing we were looking at was 8 months pregnant which might be why I was finding fault with it. I never ever felt that problem even working to 40 weeks with the brain. Does it differ between different woment or is it that the more time you take off the worse it is?

So why do some people have the brain thing and not others? Is it lack of use of the brain - i.e. too long off that is the cause? I had loads of sleep deprivation but that didn't stop the thinking process. I would just relax yourself back into it. May be try some yoga too and eat good "brain foods".

I had trouble when I went back to work. I put it down to being so blimming knackered. One evening after work I was cooking something in the microwave and when it came to the end of the time, opened the microwave to find nothing inside. Thing was still in the fridge.
It passed. Still have a small memory laspe every now and again though, and I've been back at work since March.

Xenia, I didn't experience any probs while pregnant, just after returning.

Think it was combination of exhaustion (totally relate to Elf's anecdote) and having lost touch with my files/ clients for 8 months of mat leave.

If there is a next time I will try to keep contact more with the office, even if it seems a low priority at the time.

I don't have mine back and DD is 4 next week. I'm a consultant who's supposed to 'hit the ground running'. Trying to work stuff out is like swimming through custard.

I just write everything down. I can't remember otherwise.

When I was pg I was even worse. I'd just lose track of what I was saying halfway through a sentence, look confused and give up.

If this is a genuine problem then how can any sane employer employ a woman returning from maternity leave without putting her through a mental test? I didn't realise the extent of this problem. Does it also affect the husbands who are having sleepness nights too or do you think it's related to something internal about the process of giving birth?

I did get a promotion after I'd been back at work for a few months though so I must be doing something right!

So did I!

Maybe the more enlightened employers realise it is likely to be a temporary problem?

I have also experienced colleagues(men) commenting sympathetically after meetings that another man is struggling to keep up a bit because he's got a newborn. That is purely the exhaustion part though- as I said, it's being out of loop for months on end that makes catching up difficult and knocks the confidence.

I did an IQ test when I was about 3 months pg - my IQ had dropped by about 25 points. I was . I haven't dared do one again to see if the damage is permanent.

Yes, DH is suffering just as much as me on the ?no memory, no attention span, no higher brain functions? front. He actually had a nasty fall last week because he was so exhausted he stumbled going down a set of steps at the station and fell down a whole flight onto concrete platform ? he?s covered in bruises poor thing.
When DS finally starts sleeping through the night I?m sure things will seem much better for both of us. My brain must still be in here somewhere...
Elf, that microwave thing could happen in our house ? that sums up the state we?re in exactly! Good plan on the Word doc Pendulum. I?ll stay late in the office & set something like that up tonight. That might give me a fighting chance of keeping on top of things here...
On IQ: I was talking to my sister about this *(she's consultant psychiatrist so knows about brains...) Apparently most recent studies show that on average pregnant women's IQ scores improve during their pregnancy, reduce immediately after birth (surely because any woman who agrees to participate in an IQ study immediately after giving birth must be a bit dim ), but on average mothers have higher IQs than other women of the same age without children. So sooner or later our brains will come back better than before...

ooh 3 years on and I still have moments of ditziness. I've learnt to use the spreadsheet, keep a calendar and to do lists. First thing everyday is 10 mins planning what must be done and then ten minutes at end of day assessing what got done and making note of priorities for next day. Also now incapable of separating work and homelife and have 1 calendar/to do book with tasks for both outlined.

Also use file cards to summarise key milestones/things to note for projects and have a second rolodex of them so if someone phones I can just flip to the right card and see where I'm at.

That's very interesting becster. My brain is still woolly, although I do deal with quite complicated stuff at work, so maybe I'm still ok at a general level. DD also gets up any time from 4am, so perhaps my sleep deprivation after 4 years of little sleep has more of an effect on me that I realise.

Meowmix - you just sound incredibly organised. I get kudos from my boss for being organised - I haven't told him that it's the only way I can manage or I will forget what he's told me in 30 nanoseconds.

And I just read back my post and thought 'meowmix' who's that? Who am I supposed to be replying to, it wasn't her.

I'm beyond salvation.

have to be or it goes to pot and people get away with things. Funny thing is if you look organised people think you're clever and capable, whereas all my systems are designed to hide the fact that left to my own devices I'm completely hopeless!

I think I got a brain boost during pregnancy - have never done that much work before.

In the initial stages of labor I was sitting at home doing sudoku puzzles on the internet - I was solving the hardest ones at record speed.

Sadly I lost it all after giving birth - am still struggling after 6 months back on the job.

Becster something that might help with the sleep deprivation - when you take turns with your dp - take alternate nights or even every 2 nights and go somewhere you won't hear or use earplugs. That way you get to have a decent sleep half of the time and it actually makes a huge difference.

Sorry if stating the obvious but ds was a terrible sleeper and we used to take turns through the night so nobody ever got any sleep. Had to get a sleep consultant to give me this tip - it was this bad.

I still don't understand if there is a genuine medical issue. If there is it's dangerous to employ women after birth, isn't it? I never noticed any deterioration. When people work on a deal through the night surely you would have similar effects or does adrenalin work differently then?

Apparently you lose 10 IQ points for every hour of sleep you miss or something similar. Maybe it is just tiredness and unfamiliarity?

PLus self confidence tends to dip after having children.

Give it time, create new systems and sooner or later you will wonder how you could have felt like that.