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Original poster

cant face work

31 replies

Faye12345 · 02/08/2015 16:55

Hello ive worked in my job for a year i was promoted above my experience and ability. I was off for six weeks in April because i cant cope. My boss is lovely but her patience must be wearing thin. I was late on Friday because i couldnt stop crying before work and i cant tell anyone. Ive applied for other jobs but its a two month notice period and i cant wait. Ive stayed in cancelled all plans and cried all weekend Hmm

OP posts:
FennyBridges · 02/08/2015 17:15

Oh you poor thing. Can you pinpoint something rather than just everything at work? Xx

Original poster
Faye12345 · 02/08/2015 17:17

I cant do the job as i dont have the skill set or personality

OP posts:
FennyBridges · 02/08/2015 17:26

Could you go in tomorrow and ask your boss about some training opportunities to tackle the skill set?

Do you think your personality is there, but hidden because of the stress and anxiety you are suffering?

I would say (and I know it might not be worth much) that it sounds like they really wanted to promote you because they know you; because you're you. Although this is causing you stress and anxiety you must have huge potential.

Do what about CPD opportunities?

(If I don't reply I just have to take the dog for a walk I think.)

LIZS · 02/08/2015 17:30

When you were off before did you have a return to work interview and come up with a strategy to support you in this role. Can you ask for a further review of this. It sounds as if they have more confidence in you than you have in yourself.

Original poster
Faye12345 · 02/08/2015 17:30

Thanks weve spoken and they recruited someone else to help me but its not been effective. I was desperate to leave my last job due to bullying and now id actual go back but the bully is still there. I may have potential but i just want an easier job without all this hassle and responsibility i actually thought about harming myself so i dont have to go into work its so bad

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 02/08/2015 17:33

Speak to you boss! Tell her! Talk about training you need, tell her how you feel, tell her you're struggling. It's in her interests for you to feel happy and confident.

Original poster
Faye12345 · 02/08/2015 17:35

Thanks bike we had a review a week ago and i didnt say anything. Im meant to be senior its embarrassing

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Original poster
Faye12345 · 03/08/2015 10:08

Hi guys thanks for your help yesterday. I have stinging eyes from a weekend of crying and generally dont feel great. Ive applied for 7 new jobs and im praying to God i get one of them. I would half my salary if i had to so i could leave here im so unhappy. Anyway good luck to anyone in a similiar position x

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lazycoo · 03/08/2015 11:40

I'm sorry faye. I had similar a few years back and I actually started to believe that I couldn't do the job.

You say your boss is lovely but is she really? Can't she see how you're feeling or are you an excellent actress? If you were truly underperforming wouldn't she say to you? You need a mentor, a trainer, not a friend. Don't take this all on yourself if you're not receiving true support from your boss. I hope you hear something good from the job applications xx

Original poster
Faye12345 · 03/08/2015 12:57

Ive decided to give my notice in today. I have 2 months to find a job but thats a risk i'll take the way i feel and have felt for months on end

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/08/2015 13:00

Good luck OP I am giving in my notice today as well, I came to the conclusion that if I need pills to keep me sane then I need to leave my job. Will be applying madly this week.

Original poster
Faye12345 · 03/08/2015 13:28

Omg ive written my notice and i dont have the nerve to give it in! :-S

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Original poster
Faye12345 · 03/08/2015 15:55

Ok i spoke to my manager. She said im capable etc and she doesn't want me to end up on the dole. She is due to speak to another manager who may find me a post at a lower grade. Im doubtful this will happen due to organisational change but i can only hope

OP posts:
FennyBridges · 03/08/2015 18:47

Well done op.

Sorry it wasn't a mammoth 24 hour dog walk but lots of other living bits.

If she says your capable, are you positive you're not (before you halve your income?).

Flowers
Original poster
Faye12345 · 03/08/2015 20:52

I know im not capable so i need to save my sanity

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FennyBridges · 03/08/2015 21:16

Sanity is priceless. Best of luck for stepping down in your company or for job interviews xx

SilverBirchWithout · 03/08/2015 21:26

I doubt it is because you are not capable, it is possibly because you have a large dose of self-doubt, I suspect your are normally a very conscientious and capable person because you always want to do a good job.

That being said your personal happiness and well being is what is important here, do what you have to get these horrible feelings back under control, whether it is a job elsewhere or within your current organisation.

Years ago I was in a similar position and had to make some big changes in my career as a result. Good luck. Flowers

Original poster
Faye12345 · 03/08/2015 21:41

Thanks i do suspect i have an anxiety condition at times or maybe im just lazy or cant cope with lifeHmm

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Original poster
Faye12345 · 06/08/2015 14:56

Hello i have met with my managers today and the offers are:

  • Downgrade but the organisation is being transfered in January 2016 so id be going onto a temporary contact and would have to say i won't claim i want my old job back

  • Resign

  • stay in this role

what do i do?

OP posts:
FabULouse · 06/08/2015 15:29

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Original poster
Faye12345 · 06/08/2015 15:44

No Fabulouse i just hate job and im struggling with the stress of it. Its reached a point now where im just stuck at what to do and ive got so much to do its not doable and i dont know where to start! I personally think theyre pushing me to resign

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Original poster
Faye12345 · 06/08/2015 16:31

On a maybe positive note my DH friend approached him about a job in my field and asked if i would be interested. Apparently they want someone in post in September and my notice week here is 8 weeks anyway. However would still have to interview

OP posts:
FabULouse · 06/08/2015 20:07

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Faye12345 · 06/08/2015 21:07

Hello fab. I couldn't afford not to work for more than a month or so and my notice period is two months so I'd have to find work within three months.

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SilverBirchWithout · 06/08/2015 21:46

How do you feel about the down grade option? It could give your breathing space to find something elsewhere, although part of me is concerned that makes you very vulnerable with next year's reorganisation.