Ah that was better - I wrote the replies elsewhere so here they all are. Must get back to work now.... crusts to earn..
Polyp, yes. I feel that I am so lucky to enjoy the work I do (and I work for myself so I don?t even have a boss driving me on at all) and the rewards intellectually and professionally and of course materially are so very huge that I would not have wanted to work fewer hours. In fact I?ve worked fewer since my divorce (and the virtually total absence from the children?s lives of their father) and would prefer not to have had to but like all parents you often put your children first because that?s the right thing to do. Many parents, male and female much prefer life at home. It?s great to pick work you love.
I?m not unbalanced though, not a workaholic. I have loads of other things I do which I won?t post here because it?s boring. What is interesting in Polyp?s post is that statement that of course if this were a free press free world and non PC no one would be reluctant to express this point ? if you skive off from work how on earth is it fair to expect customers, colleagues and your boss to be delighted and promote you above all others. If you?re the best at the job you do then they may well be happy to let a man or woman take some months at home to be with their baby but we live in a real world where your worth at work is often your last deal and professional reputations are fairly nebulous.
Hw, sadly some of the SAHM mothers on here tend to be the ones who swear and use abusive language. It doesn?t enhance their reputation but I won?t tar them all with the same brush. Perhaps the Oxbridge educated ones aren?t like that?. Laughing as I type. I hope no one takes me too seriously. Yes, read the Telegraph or Times?. Regular articles on this topic ? man snares beautiful Oxbridge educated professional wife and then makes (or persuades) her to sacrifice it all to dote on his every word, collect his laundry and ensure his children succeed. Horrible little anti-feminist old fashioned unfair arrangement that it is and so so so many women accept it and bring up their daughters to accept and want it. I think Blair should be putting feminists into schools not get Creationists to fund them. Of course it?s virtually always the women who end up at home and a lot were conditioned as children to want that kind of subservience and service role whilst they exalt and bolster the male ego, man as provider. Of many men like it too. It?s a model which works for lots of families. I still think it?s insidious and I would legislate to make it harder to achieve by equalizing maternity and paternity rights, although Blair is already doing that to some extent. To be able to afford a non working wife when you have school fees and a big house to buy is surely a symbol, isn?t it? It?s like the car or yacht which is a penis extension..of course the real strong men aren?t threatened by working women and actively prefer those in work. It?s the ones who are really weaklings who need that external status of non working wife, look at me, I can support a whole family.
Ad, I don?t think mothers at home with babies are more likely to harm them. I really don?t. But I think it?s neutral, whether you go back at 2 weeks or 6 months or 5 years as long as the care is adequate as mozha and I both have with our 10 lovely children between us and interesting work. If you don?t? earn enough to arrange suitable childcare then your child is better off with a parent at home.
Mog is right, my work is brilliant, even today when I seem to have promised so much by ?today? and I feel pressured. We should try to ensure our children pick work they will feel passionate about if we can. May be a good duty as a parent to try to do that. My father did it with us. It?s nothing to do with the money you earn but loving the work. It needs to be balanced too and if you work full and have children particularly if you?re a single parent (with completely absent father) that?s hard to achieve, even for me but I do try.
I really really don?t want to criticise stay at home parents at all. I sometimes find them hard to understand because I would not enjoy it and they find me hard to understand because they can?t imagine someone leaving a child under 5 to work, although a lot will leave them to go to the gym or shop with friends around where I live and I can?t quite see the difference there?.
Think, you?re right.. if any of these various men work out then I am sure I shall disappear into the ether.
Important point on 2 week maternity leaves? the point is it doesn?t have to be leave, does it? I said I?m taking my two weeks annual holiday. I was 22. That?;s how I wanted to do it. I didn?t? believe in the principle that women should be different from men, that they should be allowed to inconvenience the employer or their clients, that maternity rights women but men don?t have ultimately damage women in the workplace because they result in women being off more so less attractive to employers, whereas if there are the same rights for men and women long term you actually benefit women in work and stop sexist patterns at home where it?s assumed because she is female she?s the only one who can fold the cloth nappies.
I wouldn't say I show off. I think sometimes it's good girls see that women can have large families and be successful which has been my motivation behind some of the publicity things I've done. Girls need role models sometimes.