Advantages of Going Back to Work Early

[Judy1234]

Coming out of several other threads this is interesting. As I said elsewhere with my first child I went back to work after 2 weeks. I always work up until I went into labour. I think the longest I took off was 5 week with any of the 5. You don't often get parents writing about returning to work quickly so I thought just setting out some of the advantages might be helpful for those who can't decide how much time to take off at home. I don't want this to be seen as me saying all parents should both be back at their desks within 2 weeks however; just food for thought particularly with the new paternity leave rights coming in next April.

1. The baby does not have a huge wrench when you suddenly return at 6 months or a year. At 2 weeks she can get used to her good childcare from the father, relative, nanny or whatever so has continuity and no shock to the system of a later return.

1. You don't have time to get out of the swing of work so it's all less disrupting to your life.

1. You can establish a breastmilk expressing system early on without worrying about how to manage breastfeeding when going back at 3 months.

1. Both parents are equally as involved with the children. The pattern at home isn't established that the mother does everything to do with the baby. The mother isn't better than the father at child things. You may get a more involved husband.

1. You only lose 10% of pay in the few weeks you take off.

1. You don't lose touch with work, lose promotion, position etc.

1. If I'm allowed say it, being at home with babies can be boring (not for everyone, I know) so you can skip all that and concentrate on the fun cuddles bit.

1. You inconvenience an employer or your customers less. No one will like me for saying this but in the real world fathers and mothers taking leave is hard to manage. I can say this having had to manage maternity leave for two of my nannies over the years.

1. You may find the physical recovery from birth easier in an office than managing small children and domestic work at home with heavy lifting, toddlers who kick you, heavy rubbish to put out, floors to scrub etc.I certainly found sitting still at a desk, time to rest, relax, get drinks at my leisure helped me get back to normal. Dressing in office clothes too helps get you back to being your normal self. I loved leaving behind the clothes at home covered in baby sick etc.

10. Sometimes it aids mental health particularly if you hate being home with a baby.

My god (who, incidentally, I don't believe in), Xenia, you continue to astound me. You truly do.

I mean, for all you're name-dropping, banging on and on about material wealth and its value (both of which, as the daughter of a self-made American man, I am unfortunately too well-versed in), you're talking to plebs like me in cyberspace at 10.30PM.

Woman, I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, b/c tbh it doesn't appear you have, for all you've got.

expatinscotland - bloody shame you're so far away - I reckon you & I could while away an evening or 2 bitching about Xenia! Anyhow, I'll have to apologise for the fact that I've already stuck this on the 'pedants - what 'fact' really annoys you' thread...

I have 2 theories about Xenia...

1 She's an invention by MN HQ - they're having a really good laugh at us behind our backs.

2 She's a deranged old hag living in a Council Flat (no offence to anyone who does but if you've read anything by Xenia you'll understand what I mean) drinking litre bottles of cheap vodka, smoking Woodbines and living out a fantasy existence on MN.

WHY ELSE DOES SHE SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON IT?????

She ought to be partying with her her wealthy friends, not spending 22 hours a day on MN!

I freely admit I am here b/c I am a sad peasant.

I have, depsite a good education, a boring, dead-end job where I do FA all day and no one gives a toss what I do except my boss, who's looking for another job anyway and just out to make herself look good.

I'm an 'underachiever', a slacker. Mostly b/c I am lazy.

I'm also a terrible insomniac.

But man, ffs, at least I know how to have a larf.

Sadly, forty, she really isn't a construct or a fabrication.

I thought so at first, too, but she's all too real, although I do think she writes a lot of spew to wind people up and if it weren't so verbose it'd be funny.

And yes, I am an American expat, married to a Scot, who has the dubious honour of having been resident on the council estate Irvine Welsh grew up and used as the basis for 'Trainspotting'.

I've got photographic proof .

No, we no longer live there, I got off my lazy backside to get us that far.

Just skimming - I can't help feeling that a two week old baby need his/her mother less than a troubled adolescent or a bullied nine year old. At that age they are almost like little animals - they want milk and sleep and lots of cuddles. My babies seemed as happy with that from dp, granny etc.

Or did I get it horribly wrong?!

Personally, I was a sobbing wreck on the sofa in my nightie three weeks after the birth of each of my babies and am amazed that physically anyone is up to going back to work so soon. good luck to them.

Does anyone know how much maternity leave they get in America? I have a friend based in New york who returned to work really quickly- within 2-3 weeks - she said a lot of her friends did the same as they dion't have all the laws to help new parents that they do.

They get FA in America. I'm from there.

It's capitalist. If it's not making money, it's not worthwhile.

Another reason there's no way in the world I'd EVER go back there to live.

Amongst many reasons.

I tell a lie. They get it. Unpaid and then you get demoted or made redundant.

Honestly, the policies there make me sick.

expat
I'm an underachiever, too! I was the brainy kid at state primary school who got sent to private school where only 1 in 5 passed the exam. Surprise, surprise, I wasn't the brainiest any more - didn't like it one bit!
Did manage 8 O'levels but dropped out of 6th Form much to my parents' disappointment. They weren't landed gentry or anything, but Dad was in top 2% of wage earners so you get the picture.
I did work reasonably hard in Sales & Marketing career before kids, but lots of people with no qualifications at all and without the relatively privileged background (sorry - I am sounding like Xenia - hit me!!) did loads better.
I did manage to redeem myself by producing 2 gorgeous grandsons, though!
Then I stayed at home for 12 years - ran the Mother & Toddler Group, PTA, Residents' Assoc etc. Brain has degenerated into scrambled egg, sadly, so about a year ago I got a part time job. I do really enjoy it, though - I work for my local council setting up & supporting Residents' Associations, so I get to meet lots of lovely people on council estates! Xenia would be horrified - she probably thinks they've all got 2 heads.

I got into University of Texas at Austin law school, which was then ranked no. 7 in the country.

I skipped out to go trekking.

I got into Oxford straight out of high school, b/c it was one of those G&T places that offered an IB diploma.

But to me, Oxford was full of gits or people just there b/c of nepotism. Boring!

So I turned it down.

I never worked hard at much b/c other stuff was more important to me, chiefly, until I was 30, climbing rocks and mountains.

I came here after being made redundant and FIVE people I knew personally died in climbing accidents or on their way to climbing - incidentally, all of them intelligent professionals.

I thought I'd trek around till the money ran out, then go home and find another low life legal secretary job.

That was nearly 5 years ago .

zookeeper - I think you're dead right about tiny babies not caring who is cuddling them. It IS very hard to get bf established for some babies, though, so I wouldn't advocate returning at 2 weeks if you wanted to bf.
As I've just said to expat - mine had me at home for 12 years and my present job is only 17 hours a week.
I think there are pros and cons whatever you do, but I do genuinely believe that my intellect has suffered somewhat. That sounds SO pompous - it was fun, though!!
I ride a friend's horse once a week - she rides her other one and I often get them both ready and muck out afterwards - she works almost full time based from home. I've told her that when I've gone senile and can't afford to eat because my pension is so crap she must visit me in my old people's home & bring me food parcels!

I met some of the finest people I've ever known on council estates, including DH.

And in slums all over the world.

My father was a petroleum engineer for Shell who held a Mexican passport, so he worked a lot in S. America in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Lots of slums. Lots of desperate poverty.

I never hated it.

I left the council estate b/c I could see people shooting up junk in the block across from ours from my kitchen window.

expat - ooh! You sound brainy! I know someone who works at University of Texas - Prof. Terry Golding.
You won't know him but he was the thick kid at same primary school as me - went on to do PhD in Atomic Physics & worked for NASA.
He was one of my younger brother's friends & we used to play kiss chase. (Or at least I did - he wasn't so keen!)
Saw him at a part this summer & he kindly tried to explain his current project to me - something about 'spraying' layers of atoms.
WAAAYYYY beyond me!

Expat would be scared of anyone who lived in a council house - she'd think they were going to nick her jewels

OOPS - it's that befuddled brain again! SORRY expat - of course I meant Xenia would be scared... etc

Must admit Xenia - its beats me howcome you spend so much time on here too..

My supremely good multi-tasking skills. I've learnt how to divide my body into 6 pieces by special cloning techniques so I can be in 6 places at once.

Re the US do more parents share childcare equally when mothers return to work earlier at the sort of 2 - 6 week periods I did but which are rare in the UK? In other words does it help ensure more equality in the work place and the home and thus although they don't realise, actually is in women's long term interests?

That you must make you supremely good at everything then I guess.

... don't take me so seriously. I have loads of faults.

Well at least you're good enough to admit it.

I am perfect.

You should see the queue outside the confessional box when I'm in there...

"Almighty and merciful God, we have erred and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have offended against your holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done and we have done those things which we ought not to have done, and there is no health in us."

no. 11 xenia) baby is likely to become a robot like mummy.

madness

'Re the US do more parents share childcare equally when mothers return to work earlier at the sort of 2 - 6 week periods I did but which are rare in the UK? '

LOL! PMSL!

What a load of capitalist spin!

Yes, they'd like you to believe that.

In reality, it's bolleaux for the vast majority.

Be under no illusions, for all the Christian fundamentalist values bandied about there, there's only one God there: money.

FWIW, I don't take much of anything seriously.

Why' madness', TYP ?? It is Xenia's reality, and she has made it work...and so do millions of other women around the world.I like to think of myself as one of them...expat..you don't take anything seriously ? Therein lies the sad difference between you and Xenia,( and others like her...) What sort of example/message are you sending your children ? your daughters ?

It's quite hard to run a society which isn't capitalist. I'm not sure where we've ever managed it on the planet. Even North Korea doesn't quite seem to have got it right. China never quite got there. A lot of communes seem to collapse.... Most SAH parents are supported by a capitalist. It seems to be human nature to want to acquire Inca Gold, salt, slaves or whatever your preferred symbol of wealth might be.

mohze
madness that someone can appear so emotionless and robot like.

but gladly, she represents the minority of mothers.