Advantages of Going Back to Work Early

[Judy1234]

Coming out of several other threads this is interesting. As I said elsewhere with my first child I went back to work after 2 weeks. I always work up until I went into labour. I think the longest I took off was 5 week with any of the 5. You don't often get parents writing about returning to work quickly so I thought just setting out some of the advantages might be helpful for those who can't decide how much time to take off at home. I don't want this to be seen as me saying all parents should both be back at their desks within 2 weeks however; just food for thought particularly with the new paternity leave rights coming in next April.

1. The baby does not have a huge wrench when you suddenly return at 6 months or a year. At 2 weeks she can get used to her good childcare from the father, relative, nanny or whatever so has continuity and no shock to the system of a later return.

1. You don't have time to get out of the swing of work so it's all less disrupting to your life.

1. You can establish a breastmilk expressing system early on without worrying about how to manage breastfeeding when going back at 3 months.

1. Both parents are equally as involved with the children. The pattern at home isn't established that the mother does everything to do with the baby. The mother isn't better than the father at child things. You may get a more involved husband.

1. You only lose 10% of pay in the few weeks you take off.

1. You don't lose touch with work, lose promotion, position etc.

1. If I'm allowed say it, being at home with babies can be boring (not for everyone, I know) so you can skip all that and concentrate on the fun cuddles bit.

1. You inconvenience an employer or your customers less. No one will like me for saying this but in the real world fathers and mothers taking leave is hard to manage. I can say this having had to manage maternity leave for two of my nannies over the years.

1. You may find the physical recovery from birth easier in an office than managing small children and domestic work at home with heavy lifting, toddlers who kick you, heavy rubbish to put out, floors to scrub etc.I certainly found sitting still at a desk, time to rest, relax, get drinks at my leisure helped me get back to normal. Dressing in office clothes too helps get you back to being your normal self. I loved leaving behind the clothes at home covered in baby sick etc.

10. Sometimes it aids mental health particularly if you hate being home with a baby.

Why have kids if you are going to rush back to work and not look after them. Think your list is all for you and nothing for the child.

Each to their own and it's great that we have a choice when we can go back to work. After my DD1 was born I was going to go back to work at 6 months but when she arrived I realised it was only work and she was far more important. TBH to go back at 2 weeks and have someone look after my precious newborn other than me would have drove me mad. Also remember a lot of women especially those with difficult births, c-sections, heavy lochia etc aren't physically ready to go back either.

I look at it at aged 80 (if I live that long) will I have wished I have worked more or spent more time with my children when they were really little?

Number 3 is wrong as most women take 6 weeks to establish their milk supply so going back at 2 or 5 weeks would totally scupper that.

no peridot30 thats wrong some of her list is about what is good for her boss and customers; surely far more important than a new born!

You must be a troll because if you have a high powered job surely you have no time to make up this bollocks?

Men go back after 2 weeks. You could apply the - why have kids if you're rushing back to them surely too. Anyway we're lucky to have choices. May be I was lucky to be able to combine the breastfeeding with the going back fairly well.

Slight difference men dont carry the baby inside them for 9 months do they?

you left out the advantage of your other children not getting jealous that you are spending any time with the new baby....

Xenia, I was still crying every day until about 6 weeks after the birth.

I had a traumatic emergency c-section, breast feeding didn't work out for us so I had the emotional trauma of getting over that,DS was waking up every 1.5 hours from midnight to seven am so I wasn't in a fit state to do much during the day, I certainly wouldn't have fitted any of my work clothes never mind putting my work brain on.

Plus I don't know about your job but I certainly don't find that mine gives me time to relax, drink loads of coffee and sit still at my desk all the time. Perhaps I am in the wrong profession.

Perhaps this was because I had DS at the relatively late age of 35, if I was younger perhaps I may have found the adjustment easier, who knows ?

These are just my personal circumstances, there may be a small percentage of the population who feel differently about it and yes why not let them go back to work. I know that childbirth is not an illness but a C-section is major surgery, would you be suggesting that women who had hysterectomies rushed back into the office, well actually you probably would if they had small children.

RM, yes depends on the person and it sounds like it didn't suit you, but I don't like it when mothers are criticised because they've gone back at a certain point as if there's a divine book of rules which you transgress if you go back too early.

Xenia, I think everyone should have a choice and its good for people to share experience. Your husband is obviously very involved in your childrens lives, and it is really good that you can share that time together.
I wish me and my husband could share work and childcare 50/50 I think it would benefit all of us, but unfortunately we do not have that option. I started working a day and a half a week when ds was 6 months but I he is now 8 months and I am considering giving it up, we don't really need the money I was doing it more to keep my knowledge up to date.
I don't agree with all your points, but I think everyone should do what the think is right for them and their children and we shouldn't be made to feel bad about our decisions.

Heaven forbid that a child should disrupt your life!

Why not buy a hamster instead? If that turns out to be an inconvience you can always eat it...

LOL @ hamster comment

Xenia always starts contraversial posts. likes getting peoples backs up!

Well you don't criticise fathers going back after 2 weeks do you. Why is that? Why does the fact they have a penis make them immune from that criticism? No one goes up to them and says. Why bother having a child if you just take 2 weeks paternity leave? We don't suggest both parents give up work for 18 years do we and we know children aren't harmed by being in school at 5 or nursery school at 3. Anyway it's good women know they can go back early if they want to and that other women have and find that is easier for them.

Even if I had wanted to, I honestly don't think I was physically or mentally or hormonally able to go back to work after 2 weeks.

Fathers don't have to go through pregnancy, labour and the emotional upheaval that women do. that's even before the effect of the lack of sleep on your mental agility.

OMG.

Some people clearly had a different physical experience during the first year of their baby's life than I did!

Well, I thought having a second baby had been a doddle by the time she was 2 weeks old. It was at 3 weeks old that mastitis on both sides started - false euphoria in the first 2 weeks made manageable by my partner being off as well.

Would you really be able to get a nursery or childminder to take a 2-week old baby??

always not also!

because the baby didn't grow inside the man for 9 months and doesn't still depend on him for love and nourishment.

you were born with the egg inside you that created each of your children. they were within you since before you were born, yet as soon as you expel them from your body you can't get away fast enough.

if you're a real person (which i doubt) you have a pitiful existence.

Paternity leave? Didn't have that in my day
...

DS will be 7 next week ....
I know your eldest children are in their 20s aren't they Xenia? How come your husband had paternity leave then?

think men should be encouraged to take more time off anyway

dp took 6 weeks both times

mmm beans on toast

xenia, you've missed the whole point of having kids, especially sad that you've had 5 and still not found it out.

and you're kids will be the same with theirs............

twat

You live in a totally different world I am afraid. If I am lucky enough to have another DC I am loving the fact that I will have 9 months of payed Mat leave in which to spend at home with a new baby and DS.

Also your 'working up to when I went into labour' is all very good when you are sat on your arse all day with people running around after you. I strongly suspect most peoples jobs are not like that. Anyway, I hope that you will always be happy with the choices you made - you seem to think you have it sussed so well done you. Now can you shut up about it? tia.

Excellent post, Flossam. I doubt Xenia could do your job, and definitely not up to labour started or a fortnight post-birth.

Xenia - I'm glad you've convinced yourself because you really haven't convinced me.
I am also very happy with the choices I have made. They are very different to your choices, but I know for certain I will never regret the time I spend with my children, and they certainly seem to want to have me around them. I would feel sorry for you but you obviously don't want to hear that.