Would you leave a £250,000pa job to be a SAHM?

[misosoup]

Ok, I've changed my name for this, not quite sure why....

I really enjoy my job and it is pretty well paid but since I returned to work after having DD2 I have been thinking a lot about this.

I can afford not to work, dh's income is nothing like mine but still above average although it will clearly be a huge drop in our standard of living.

And I miss the kids do much during the day... I spend 2 hours per day with them plus weekends. There is no way I can cut my hours any more and part-time is out of the question.

But I have worked so hard to get here, against all odds. I don't want to throw it all away.

i do go to playgroups and have met interesting people and have friends locally that i miss when i am at work, so maybe it is different for me.
I can talk to my friends with kids about all sorts of stuff anyway, not just kids...
and i talk to my work colleagues about all sorts of stuff, not just work.

For what is worth DS is reciting Milton's Paradise Lost...

it is nice to change the way i view my life and self worth.
once upon a time it really mattered that my colleagues thought i was good at my job, that i did everything perfectly and i worked my way up the ladder.
now it is great to go to work ans be the senior colleague supporting the gang, but it is bloody fascinating to see how a child develops and how toddlers become people.

if i had nmore time then i'd do a course on child development or antenatal teaching, or breastfeeding support or politics or history...
if i do give up work then i think i will have the time to do something like that..

Ah... that takes me back. Did you know you can sing the first few lines to the tune of the Flintstones?

D*mn it! mine can't do that!

can i just say wiind the bobbin up is pants

TBH I find the "self-worth" issue becomes less of a preoccupation after a while at home with children, because your life isn't all about you any more. IYKWIM.

Wind the bobbin up is mindless drivel - but the Jo Jingles version has a very funky bassline.

Sorry for hijacking this thread with discussion of facile playgroup songs, misosoup. I really must go to bed.

I think I have not stayed home long enough to learn these songs

yeah right.... I havnt botherd reading the other posts but if my radar is right
and it often is
can i ask you this
"can a woman
who is so intelligent,
that someone pays her 250k p.a
really be asking such a question like this?
to complete strangers?
or meerly looking for affermation to a dilemma that she has already decided?"

ds2 is obsessed with wind the frigging bobbin up. It comes second only to "old MacDonald had some trains" in his not inconsiderable repertoire

That's uncharacteristically astute of you, cowmad

meerly.

Have to agree with Xenia about the 'dull as ditchwater' groups. Has anyone ever read Rachel Cusk? She just about sums it up, except I really do like spending time with my kids, just not in an organised fashion. God, I spent so much of my teenage years wondering why I was different to my 3 sisters who worked in Woolies or factories and then had kids and never worked again. The thought of giving up everything that have I worked for, cleaning and au pairing for people through university, and paying off debts for years to get my postgraduate degrees... I just feel what kind of example would I be setting my daughters? I want them to be strong and powerful and not dependent on someone else.

When I was younger, I hated my mum for not working and not having a life, when my dad would be going out to work, to the pub and to the races and doing whatever he liked, while she just sat inside and babysat for the six of us while we slept. I did love my dad more (I'm ashamed to say now) because he was fun and gave me some hint of a life that wasn't restricted and mundane (in a very small way, as he was a manual worker who died in his 60s). He left her after 33 years of marriage and she was destroyed because she had nothing else in her life but him, and us, and could have had so much more. She had talked to me since about how she would have loved to be a nurse or in the army but gave up all those ideas to get married and have loads of kids that he wanted!

I work part-time at the moment and find it hard not being there as much as I want to be, and though I love being with my kids, I find four days at home is enough to remind me why I like being out at work. I only wish I earned half of what Misosoup is bringing in!

if i enjoyed my job then no i wouldnt give it up. I imagine its very pressured though but if you need that then fair play to you. I think the suggestion that you work for a couple more years and save/invest wisely and get used to living on 50k a year. To be honest dh earned nearly that last year and i honestly dont know where its gone! Admittedly we have no debt but no serious investments either.

Is it worth taaking a job at say £100k and reducing the amount you pay to the taxman?

Sometimes affirmation is exactly what we ask from MN, and why not? Or perhaps she really wants advice? Why would it follow that the more high-powered your job, the less advice you need on motherhood?

Aaargh - I bow out.

Chandra - Wind the bobbin up, Wind the bobbbin up, Pull, Pull. Clap clap clap. Wind the bobbin up, Wind the bobbbin up, Pull, Pull. Clap clap clap.

Point to the ceiling, point to the floor. Point to the window, point to the door.

Wind the bobbin up.... etc.

Yaaaaaawwwwwwnnn.

Although I must admit that I still find 'Dingle Dangle Scarecrow' mildly exhilarating.

yes well gs
feel if shes that good for 250k talents will be transferable to lots of new opps for misoup in the future

in the meantime theres a job to be done by only one person...the parent

i saw pugyogo or whatever its called for the first time tonight - thats very catchy

Yeah.. What is that bobbin song and pointing at doors all about? I've often sung it totally mystified.

ah cowmad thats usually 2 people though isnt it - unless of course the mother loses her complete identity and morphs into her partner/the parent

pedantic jampots
was talking to a woman
addressed the woman

I think we already loose enough of our identity by losing our original surnames... forget about morphing into the partner. Actually, thinking of it, I have morphed into a sherpa. Don't take me wrong, I love my child and he is the center of my universe but no day passes in my life without me missing my professional life miserably. (even when I didn't have that life anymore by the time DS arrived)