Would you leave a £250,000pa job to be a SAHM?

[misosoup]

Ok, I've changed my name for this, not quite sure why....

I really enjoy my job and it is pretty well paid but since I returned to work after having DD2 I have been thinking a lot about this.

I can afford not to work, dh's income is nothing like mine but still above average although it will clearly be a huge drop in our standard of living.

And I miss the kids do much during the day... I spend 2 hours per day with them plus weekends. There is no way I can cut my hours any more and part-time is out of the question.

But I have worked so hard to get here, against all odds. I don't want to throw it all away.

And, another thing, I'm not talking about people on benefits in general. I'm talking about people who make a concious decision to get benefits rather than work. This does not include people who are unable to work for medical reasons, or because the ferocious cost of living makes chilcare more expensive than what they take home, etc.

breasfted babies NEED the ir mothes to go back to wrork thoguh obviously

Eh? We aren't talking about people on maternity leave.

but women shouldnt get maternity leave

at cod.!

This thread is taking an effin age to load as well.

men whoduld have boys

women have girls imfo

Oh ok, cod. That's a sensible contribution.

yeah, cod, point taken. there is nothing left to say on this topic that hasn't already been said by one of the 760 plus comments.

and it has drifted so far from the original point. i mean, what have benefits got to do with someone on 250k per annum?

yes I work, although to be fair even with help with childcare care I'm not much better off at all, but I want to work, I want to progress in my career, and eventually go back to university.
The state is there for a reason to help those in need. Yes there are people who do abuse it i.e claiming disablility alllowance but working off the cards. Also the story about the mum sendin her ds to private school!
single mums who want to stay at home with their children until they are 3 or so shouldn't be blighted with the same label though.
ok so they could have been unlucky in love they might not be 'fortunate' (depending on your viewpoint) enough that the father of their child stuck around and married them and went out to work. so they shouldnt be punished for that and made to go and work indstead of being a sahm if they want to be.

250 00 thast not much really

riab -in answer to your question...
dh was my boyfriend at the time, we had never lived together, were 18 & 19, we both lived in student digs (seperate uni's) I rented privately before uni. He was 1 year into a 3 year course, I was 2 years into mine. So yes I was classed as a single parent.

Custardo, I heard the violins play as I read your post. That was one scenario that, I'm sure, many people are living in right now. I would argue though that a lot of those awful things you mentioned are down to cultural atittudes and patterns rather than just because people are on benefits.

I know myself that it is not easy, I know it exists but the picture that you painted was so very different to my experience.

I was not suggesting that everyone should (fu** the taxpayer) give up work and claim benefits if that is their only option (miss-bloody-quoted again)
I was suggesting that for some people it can work out. like it did for me, for example.

And would any of you like to challenge me on whether I would have been an un-necessary burden on society if I had chosen to stay at home on benefits a while longer while my dboyfriend finished uni and got a job to support us at home?

(see my last 8.50 am post if confused!)

Oh, and another thing, for some of you (perhaps high earners) that are surprised about earning 7k per year -I earnt that for a part time job as a paediatric nurse on icu! shocking, yes, but frankly, it's the way it is for a lot of people.

I cant beleive this thread is still ongoing.

me23, I think the cost of childcare in this country is one that the government needs to adress sooner rather than later. Let's face it, you don't need to be poor enough to be on benefits for childcare to be unaffordable. I mean, 2 kids for £2600 per month. Who the Hell can afford that?!?!

uwila I'm sure that is above average childcare cost? maybe not for places like london..

Also, in a truly feminist society this thread would go on about how to get a more affordable, reliable child care system. Before moving to the UK, I've never heard such controversy about nurseries.

poppet, I e-mailed a childminder this week to find out what it would cost to put my kids in, commute to work, and commute back to pick them up. This is 5 days a week, and 11 hours (to allow for a 1 hour commute and 9 hour day. This was her quote. I have 2 kids, the first one is £6/hour and the second one is £5/hour.

uwila - i work in social housing. i think my desciption is most apt

ouch!

Ok, Custy, I'll bow to your expetise on the conditions of typical council housing, as I am no expert.

Exactly, poppet. Ouch! Guess I'll keep the live in foreign nanny.

do you work everywhere in the country custardo?

I have also worked in the community as a peadiatric nurse in a health visiting team. In one of the largest council estates in the country.

yes i havebeen in every council house in the country. i have intricate knowledge of not just every persons house in england, but also ireland and scotland.

dont be daft.

whats your point?

i have worked and lived in oldham - i know oldham inside out

i worked for one of the largest housing assoications in liverpool - but was based in manchester on an overflow estate - you may have seen it on the telly. as its shithole status was so high - it was on everything from films to documentaries.

i now work for one of the largest housing associations in the south. My area covers london - all of it. from dover to portsmouth INC. the IOW.

oh yes

and i am a soical housing tenant - i have a social landlord and also have experience on a personal level.

am i qualified now?

am liking custardos thoughts and postings! and while i dont like strong language feel it needed to get thru to thickos!

I didn't say you weren't qualified did I?

I was suggesting that it isn't all like you tell it.

Cowmad who are the thicko's, out of interest?