Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Vote: Would you prefer your child to be able to say "my mum was always there" or "my mum trained people across the world"?

87 replies

fisil · 13/07/2006 20:38

I gave up work to be with my boys more, and to make ends meet by doing 1 day a week consultancy/training. Today I was offered potential work in Dubai. Whenever I went it would only be one day (i.e. 2 nights away from home). It sounds REALLY exciting, especially in the world of education when usually a field trip to the Peak District is the best you get, but then I did want to be with my boys more ....

So please vote - which would you prefer your kids to be able to say?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 13/07/2006 20:39

How often would you be away and how old are your children?

mousiemousie · 13/07/2006 20:40

the first one

Original poster
fisil · 13/07/2006 20:40

only one or two trips.

boys 1 and 3

OP posts:
morningpaper · 13/07/2006 20:40

What would YOU prefer to say

"I stayed at home to bring up my kids"
"I travelled all over the world training people and had an exciting career"

SoupDragon · 13/07/2006 20:41

Oh, if it's only 1 or 2 trips, then do it! No question.

Original poster
fisil · 13/07/2006 20:41

mp - both - that's the problem!

OP posts:
motherinferior · 13/07/2006 20:42

Oh go! GO!

SenoraPostrophe · 13/07/2006 20:42

depends what you are training them to do.

Caligula · 13/07/2006 20:42

Only one or two days per week? Sounds like the best of all worlds - your ds's will be able to say both, surely?

ComeOVeneer · 13/07/2006 20:42

As long as they had safe,familiar care whilst you were away I would say go for it.

MissChief · 13/07/2006 20:42

GO

GeorginaA · 13/07/2006 20:42

1 or 2 trips total? Good god woman, go for it! What a fantastic opportunity!!

Honestly, by the time your eldest is 4 they'll both have completely forgotten about it anyway

GeorginaA · 13/07/2006 20:43

Oh per week? per month? per lifetime? confused look

beansprout · 13/07/2006 20:43

Go! They won't even remember that you went away!

SenoraPostrophe · 13/07/2006 20:44

...but as it goes I can guarantee your kids will never actually say either of those things. what they will have though, are memories of a happy or a not so happy mum depending on what you do, I think.

Original poster
fisil · 13/07/2006 20:44

You were right Georgina - one or two weeks total (per lifetime).

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 13/07/2006 20:44

The threas title suggests you're attaching all sorts of stuff to this and actually it's TWO nights, sometimes, GO! They won't mind I bet and a man wouldn't think twice. You can always change your mind if you don't like it but you may always wonder what if if you don't

motherinferior · 13/07/2006 20:45

Sweetie, frankly, if you're talking one or two trips away in their life, I too think they won't notice.

GeorginaA · 13/07/2006 20:46

Go - honestly they won't remember.

Ds1 is 5 now and he barely remembers anything about being 3 - even the monumental stuff (and some things he thinks he remembers is only things that have been repeated to him over and over as family lore).

As long as you've got the childcare in place, I'd go for it. Sounds like an unmissable opportunity. How EXCITING

hunkermunker · 13/07/2006 20:47

Go and do it!

Original poster
fisil · 13/07/2006 20:47

Interesting www - that's made me think. It's not just men - I wouldn't have thought twice when I was working (in fact I've been away for longer, 4 nights when ds2 was 4 months old), but I was working then. I think I'm agonising because I supposedly gave up work to spend more time with the kids, and then people keep tempting me with these fabulous opportunities.

Actually, putting it that way makes me sound like a spoilt bitch, so I'll shut up now!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 13/07/2006 20:47

2 nights away from home? In Dubai? Are you mad? You wouldn't have seen me for dust!

It's TWO nights!

My dad worked away more often than not when I was a kid - he was a petroleum engineer who worked offshore for weeks at a time.

But when he was home, he was 100% at home.

We grew up happy and well-adjusted.

MissChief · 13/07/2006 20:48

If not, can i have yr job? used to work in all sorts of glamorous places\in middle/far\ east..now farthest i getis Staines. seize the day and all that...

edam · 13/07/2006 20:49

Go! Honestly, the parenting police aren't going to come and take them away because you go off on two work trips.

I am the daughter of a WOHM and am not worried in the slightest about the concept of being 'always there', if that helps.

clumsymum · 13/07/2006 20:49

If you can stay at home and be happy, then, stay at home. But if you tend to get frustrated and angry with them cos you want more out of life than being a mummy (like me atm) then think about going. Is it 2 day EVERY WEEK? if so, would jet lag impact on you? If it's 2 days now and then, and childcare isn't a problem (i.e. you can leave them with someone they know, like and respect), then go for it, all guns blazing.