Vote: Would you prefer your child to be able to say "my mum was always there" or "my mum trained people across the world"?

[fisil]

I gave up work to be with my boys more, and to make ends meet by doing 1 day a week consultancy/training. Today I was offered potential work in Dubai. Whenever I went it would only be one day (i.e. 2 nights away from home). It sounds REALLY exciting, especially in the world of education when usually a field trip to the Peak District is the best you get, but then I did want to be with my boys more ....

So please vote - which would you prefer your kids to be able to say?

But then fisil - the scenario you describe doesn't take you away from your boys all that often does it!

It depends on the age at which you want to hear thier opinion.

preschool opinion or teenage opinion. 'mummy looks after me' or 'mum cramps my style'.

Unless you are saving lives????

Errr yes, what of it?

Just wondered if you meant you shouldn't work unless you are saving lives? Or no overnighters unless saving lives? I do stints up to 10 days but I am home majority of the time and have more time with kids than if I worked 9-5.

HMC, unfortunately/sadly for some of us, who are the main breadwinner, employment can never be subsidiary.

And some of us work long hours and travel a lot for work, and are away from our children overnight, but still manage to raise nice children, who love us lots.

Even if we are not saving lives.

Would a father ask this question? I think not.

why does it have to be mutually exclusive. Just cos you are 'always there' doesn't make someone a good mother by default. I want my ds to think I was/am/will be there for him whatever, but that is NOT the same as always being there in my book...and Mrs S is right, for some of us employment is not subsidiary - it's what puts the food on the table and keeps a roof over our heads...

That would imply that single mothers who work are bad mothers which is totally false. People's family and financial circumstances vary and I think anyone who can rise up to the challange of balancing things deserves a medal.

I was actually advised to work at least part-time when it was determined that I might go down with severe PND. If dh died or ran off with someone else tomorrow like my dad did, I'd like to know that we can cope. That sense of security is essential to me but just based on personal experience.

Fisil was talking about only going away for 2 nights wasn't she? I don't see why that should be a problem atall.
I agree Black duck that "being there" doesn't automatically make you a good mother. But imo it is 'good' a mother is one who is "there" for her children as much as circumstances allow, iyswim.

I want DS to say 'my mum and dad were cool and happy and I know they loved me always'

GO!

My god, go and stay an extra night wihile youare at.