Manager calling me at home, outside my working hours to shout at me.

[Williewarmer]

Regular poster, but have NC.

Can she do that? She had only started that day, and I had left early to collect my sick infant from Nursery. I had followed the absence policy to the letter.

She also had a major pop at me at work yesterday in front of her superior and my colleagues. There have been many other incidents in the two weeks she has been my manager. I am guessing this will continue so am keeping notes etc.

She is targeting others too, but that does not make it right. She also knows I have recently been off sick with PND and asked me what meds I am on. I am pretty sure she cannot do that either.

I work for the NHS and have done so for over 20 years. I have never ever been spoken to like that, and am still livid.

I am pretty sure that my contract does not include being contacted outside of work, unless in an emergency, which it was not.

Many thanks.

Really sorry but have no advice. Could you talk to HR or your union rep?

Is she picking you out for special attention or others too?

Also recommend speaking to HR or union rep.

She won't last. Keep notes and speak to your union. Sooner rather than later, before she undermines your confidence.

I had a manager like that in the NHS. She runs the department like a primary school clique, she thought the people she supervised belonged to her and that it was her right to know everything and anything about them all. I even saw her checking the bags of colleagues while they had popped out the office for a couple of minutes. I was off one day with a migraine and she called me demanding for me to be in the office because one of her friends was feeling unwell, I arrived back to work in pieces to see her friend leave to go shopping...

HR was USELESS, and apart of her clique's followers the rest of us felt the need to leave. Keep the notes and get HR involved as soon as you can. But keep an eye at other openings just in case.

What the others said. Carry on keeping a log of all her unreasonable calls, bad treatment of you. You will probably need it. :-(

Interestingly, she keeps getting promoted, which is a bit sad considering it comes from someone who moved by the motto "if things don't work, cry in front of a doctor, and he will sort all the problem for you" and they did, even when his position was not a medical one.

(I'm obviously still reeling about this after all these years)

Thank you for the responses. She appears to be trying to catch everybody out. She has been called in as a trouble-shooter as the department does have a few issues, but obviously I am the perfect employee The only thing she has to hold against me is the fact that my son does not keep well, and I have had 6 days off to care for him in the last 5 weeks. She has suggested I take a career break, cut my hours or leave. She has also questioned my mental fitness to work, which makes me feel a bit vulnerable tbh. I have plenty of Annual Leave to cover my time off, and always coordinate so my clients (community) are adequately cared for.

I have had initial talks with the union, but as yet I do not want to involve them. I do not have much faith in HR.

MeMySonAndI, I am sorry you had that experience. You would think the NHS would be more caring. Their policies clearly state that the dignity of the employee is paramount, yet witches like these get promoted.

I would note everything down and follow each conversation up in writing. 'Hi boss, thanks for yesterday's meeting, can you please just confirm the options that you gave me were a career break, cutting my hours or leave...and can you please let me know when I have to make this decision by. Could you also let me know why only these options are available, as I have followed the procedure to the letter and have plenty of leave to cover any time taken off for my son. Do we need to have a meeting with HR to discuss? Thanks.' And copy HR in.

Also, tell all your colleagues to join the union, and make sure you are all taking notes, in front of her, and following everything up in writing to chomp firm what she has said to you. Always include HR to keep them in the loop.

Funky that is helpful. I sent an email to her and her superior who witnessed yesterday's attack, and copied in my line manager who was not there. I have yet to have anything in writing about our meeting in relation to the time off. That was nearly two weeks ago, so I will fire off another email to her and her manager about that, and include what was said. Yep. I will try to be brave enough to say something when others are present. The trouble is I tend to cry when angry, so I do not want to look like a pussy.

I would also suggest that if she is ringing you on your days off you immediately say that it's not convenient now and you will see her when you are at work on whatever day.
Are you taking annual leave to cover the absences or unpaid dependents leave? If it's AL she can stick it but if it's additional to that then her targets may well include reducing absence which is why she is doing this.

The nhs is no longer a caring employer IME

Tweety I was so gob-smacked when she called I was a bit like a bunny in headlights. I was caring for a small vomiting person and she caught me off-guard. If that happens again I will certainly say that. I am using A/L, and control my own diary so there was no need for my colleagues to do a thing as I just re-appointed my clients. I am sure it is all about targets. Nothing to do with how good I am at my job, just that she can tick her boxes.

She is also getting pissy about upcoming hospital appointments for him.

Keep notes of everything, talk to your Union, copy in HR with correspondence, check the grievance procedure. Keep calm, make a plan, breathe deeply if you think you are about to cry.

Then I would catch her head on too. Arrange a meeting with her and ask her what is causing her concern exactly.
Your caseload is covered and you are using your leave allowance so it is only impacting you really. Have the relevant policies to hand and be calm.
Micro managing people like this is pretty poor practice really. I had similar after my last manager was an admin person who was legally unable to do my role but felt she could coach me to improve

Mind you 6 days off in 5 weeks is an awful lot. Is there a specific illness that keeps him off school so much or is it just colds and sickness etc? If the latter you should have emergency childcare arrangements in place and not assume that you can just fail to go to work every time he is off IMO.

Celestial, he has only just turned one, and has a weak chest after getting bronchiolitis at 5 weeks (hospitalised) and has reflux that is not well managed, plus CMPI and an intolerance to soya. I extended my Mat Leave as long as I could so I could look after him. I appreciate it is a lot of time off, and understand the manager's point of view. But he is a small baby in a nursery full time, and has two older siblings, so he gets everything. He has had D&V three times in as many weeks as other parents do not keep their kids off and it is just going around the nursery, plus he had an ear infection, and thrush both ends, plus 4 molars coming through.

Thank you peeps, some really helpful advice here.

I had not thought to copy in HR.

I would bet good money she is on MN

She cannot contact you outside of your working hours to discipline you.

If you are in a union,contact your rep.

I would consider initiating the grievance procedure against her.

Just realised that you don't want to involve the union.
Why?

Remember the union represent YOU.If you don't want them to act they won't.

But they can offer you advice and support.

Poor little thing. Well they should be able to support you with all that. I was just thinking if he was a healthy but snotty/throaty 7 yo I might see why they were unhappy. Your situation quite different.

Celestial exactly. I am hoping it is temporary and as he gets bigger he will get stronger. I have doubled his meds (checked the BNF first honest) and he has not vomited since, and is sleeping the best he has ever done. Still pretty shite, but better than sleeping on me only.

VerySmallSqueak I am considering starting a grievance, but I am also in the process of applying for a promotion and I would be directly under her if I were to be successful. I need to play this carefully. Even thought I know realistically I am fucked I have had dealings with the union previously and they were not that great, but it was a completely different issue, and would be a different person. Incidentally do you know where I can find something documented to say she cannot call me at home? I have scoured the NHS policies, but to no avail.

I don't know anything documented,I'm sorry Willie.

My Dh is a union rep and he says that the only way you should be contacted outside work with regard to being disciplined is by letter.Everything else should take place within working hours.

I think you would find that if you started a grievance you could request that any interviews with regard to a promotion be carried out by someone other than her.

But,yes,I understand what you are saying,and in reality life in the workplace is often not as equitable as it should be....

I think she could be entering the territory of bullying at work,and you absolutely must keep a record of any contact with her if you do nothing else.

As my union told me,when I was using A/L to cover my babies sickness and my (ex) employers got arsey about it,
'you are doing them a favour by taking emergency time off as annual leave rather than emergency time off for dependants.'
In that way it is taking you out of the workplace for less time ultimately.

Please talk to your union and give them another try.It's what you pay your dues for.

And I hope your little boy's health improves soon.

FWIW I would urgently start looking for emergency childcare cover as the right to emergency time off for dependants is limited,so I would do my best to find someone you can call (and heaven knows I know how hard that is).