F*****g Goverment! Im so upset - I dont know what to do

[MammyShirl]

I just called Inland Revenue and they said we are not entitled to any help with childcare so basically I can't afford to work and I cant afford to not work. I don?t understand this government, they don?t seem to want to help people who want to help themselves. They just waste money on no-hopers!

I might as well chuck my boyfriend out, leave my job and say I'm homeless to get any help, and on the way damage my leg so I can be registered disabled and get a free car - its sad but true!

So what's next for people who don?t get help with childcare - where do us people who want and need to work stand? Is there no government funded nurseries?

What are my options?

We earn what I consider low wages well under 30k, we are in a lot of debt and just about makes ends meet each month, we dont earn enough to pay our bills we just balance it. i work part time and we need the money. my mother looks fter my dd but is now finding it difficult so i need to get my dd into a nursery, ive been looking for a couple of weeks and yesterday, trailed arouns chiswick/acton from 10 - 5pm, i was so tired, they are so expensive and i really stupidly thought we would get some help with the costs - but no! nothing! so what do i do now, we cant live on my dh wages, we cant afford to pay the nursery costs as it costs two thirds of my monthly wage. i am desperate, what the f* is this goverment up to. when i lived in australua they really take care of you, their money is well spent and not wasted on no-hopers like it is here. im sorry but i cant express or say what i really want to say as i will come across arrogant and racist which im not im just saying what is true! the goverment needs to start taking care and putting people first who want to help themselves, they really do have their priorities wrong.

im so anrgy and i feel so low, my debts feel like a ton of bricks on my shoulders, i work hard and always have, i dont spend much, i dont have much. i pay rent, my bills and ive worked since 14, i see people from school living in nicely decorated houses, do they work? - no! they get all because they can, because they choose to cheat the system, but who is they clever one? not me the mug! i should learn a lesson from them that i cant fight this system i should just join it or suffer in silence as no-one wants to hear from me unless im disabled, homless, single or a refugee. sure they need help but what about all the falling people around them, soon we will be in the same boat as homeless people an dthen they will have to help me and it would cost alot more then it would if they just gave me some f help now so i can look afte rmy family.

i just want to screaaaaaaaaaaaaam!

sorry if i offend anyone but we should be allowed to say what we feel, i dont hate anyone just the goverment.

dino, where do you work? i agree, i live in a very socially mixed area and there are loads of people much better off and i also work in a very well paid industry, and i think it does distort one's perceptions.

zebra, i'm glad i don't have to start munching on my hat then

I work for a big law firm in the City, BK.

Dinosaur - would rather not say as I know people who use mumsnet and am keen to preserve annonimity (SP)- have given away rather too much already.....woops

No worries Sonnet. I'm just very nosey

Kaz33, come and live in sunny Camberwell! Swap your 2bed flat for a rambling house with 90ft garden! Enjoy the social diversity and wonderful parks! It's not so bad, honest. I have lovely neighbours.
Sonnet - honestly, my comments were not aimed at you in the slightest and were not meant to be sarcastic or critical, just an observation. As Kaz33 says, when you spend a lot on whatever you spend it on, you may well have little left over whatever you earn. I certainly understand that.

Mammyshirl

Just one thought, you say you work two days a week, how many hours is that? The reason I ask is because if it is less than 16 hours per week you will get no help towards childcare regardless of your level of income or cost.

2 days a week for me 9-5 with an hour for lunch would be 14 hours so below the limit.

My brother lives in Chiswick, won't let me come and stay with him.

The thing about average earnings and where you live is interesting though. There was a survey last year ranking places in terms of disposable income and how much you could get for your money, a quality of life thing. Most, not surprisingly, were in the North. Most, even less surprisingly were in Cheshire - the Surrey of the North. I realised I now lived in the 7th richest place in England

Well according to this , Hounslow (the borough that most of Chiswick is in) has spot on average income!

u do have to work 16hours a week or more.

i am annoyed woith your generalisations, i have council flat, am on benefitsm dh is on long term sick, one daughter gets dla and other has problems. it aint all plain sailing u know. i may have money in my pocket for doing 'nothing' but i wouldnt want anyone to have my life and all the appointments it has jammed in. if only i could get a 'free' car.
i will swap your debts and your life and u can take a look in my med cabinet if u like.

When I first started back to work after having my DS twins,the crech at work (an NHS one NOT subidised), wanted £1000 a month for the boys, my earnings at the time were £1400 a month. So we looked around and found a very nice, cheaper one just yards away in some government buildings, we qualified for this as DH works for local government and they subsidised our places making the cost ONLY £800 a month, this was also before the Tax credit system, so we got no other help.

It seemed alot at the time, but we really couldn't aford for me not to work, but I just kept the thought in my mind that it would only be till they went to school, and then the costs would drop dramatically.
As it happened I went P/T and so did DH to cut our child care costs, because for every days earnings we lost, we also saved £43 a day, and gained presious time with our DS's.Money was very tight but now that they have started school I'm really glad we did it.
Perhaps, Mammyshirl, you need to have a good think about other possibilities, or just carry on working, even if it is for next to nothing, just until you've paid off the debts, and then think of maybe giving up, or a different type of job.

Wow - i was not expecting all that!
Just re-read what i wrote this morning and I really did not think that through, i was so upset and online as i was emailing Inland Revenue and just let it all spill out plus a few tears!
So im sorry if i did offend anyone as my entry does come across mean and I really did not want to offend anyone. I was just trying to say that I dont understand why there is no help for people like me, Im not picking on the homeless, disabled etc... That was anger!
I work 16 -18 hours, two full days. Right now my mother minds my 10 mth old dd but she has a bad back and has already had 5 kids so i think its about time she relaxes. she does not say it but i can see its too much for her. my salary is great for the hours i do £615 per month. I just cant beleive how expensive nurseries are.
Whe my family came to the UK we arrived with £10 and where homless, we where put in a b&b with other homless families, no-one spoke enhlish, it stunk and every week we where ill. my mother and father finally got a job and they paid our way, if we had waited around we probaly would still be there. im not picking on the homeless - ive been there and its not nice. im not single and im not disabled. i know im lucky in other ways. today i looked at my litte angel and almost cried - just her smile makes everything ok, i know ill get through this somehow. ma

i'm sorry i was so short earlier too.
the childcare provisions suck. there is not much more i can say about it. i think larger companies should provide childcare facilities, it woud help a lot of people get back to work

hi tinker, i can easily believe that!

we have some good friends that live in greater manchester/cheshire. despite earning a fair bit less than we do, they have a 4 bed detached house, two expensive cars, the area has excellent state schools at both primary and secondary level, and a lowish crime rate.

we have a 3 bed terraced house in an "up and coming" area (i.e. dodgy, grimy, high-crime), an elderly super-mini, appalling state secondary schools - good primaries though to be fair.

guess which family would be more likely to be in the "rich" super-tax league?

sorry mammyshirl - will stop hi-jacking this thread now.

good luck with the debt reduction. The two threads already linked contain really excellent advice.

hello
im at work today, its so quiet now and im bored. to be honest, i dont think my boss needs me but he knows i need the money. i work for a very small company, another mum works here two , we do two days each but her partner earns alot of money.
My dh drove me half way today and we where silent for most of the drive. we are both worried about what will happen. he said he is going to look around for a better paid job. we live in surrey andits not cheap. we have looked for cheaper rent, we signed another years contract in november so i dont know if we can get out of it. we need to move somewhere cheaper really. if dh had a better job, i could leave work and scrimp for a bit but go back to work when she is 3 as i know you get help with costs then. i am willing to work shifts packing shelfs at sainsburys if that what it takes but dh said no way that we will work it out. i feel lost right now, i think i'll go speak to citizens advice. i came on my period today so that explains alot too. since giving birth i have def started to suffer with pmt - never did b4. i feel like i want to open my mouth as wide as i can and scream with all my breath and life. i feel like im falling apart, im tired, weak, unfit, unattractive, deflated breasts, cracked dry feet and hands and crying......

right there... feel a bit better now. think i'll blame all that wingeing on periods!

I know it doesn't reallt help Mummyshirl but reading some of other people's problems on mumsnet always brings me down to earth!!

Oh...you poor thing - I do feel for you. PMT could have a lot to dowith how you're feeling though - I also get it badly now (post DD's)

Going back to you original thread - it does appear that if you could get rid of the debts life would be a lot easier.
Have you read stoneybrokes thread. I followed that and thought she was amazing - she was just so determined. It inspired me to look at my own finances and whilst luckiliy I have no debts the money just seemed to disapear each month.

Maybe the first thing to do is see if you can reduce your rent. If your not busy at work can you sneakily do it now?
I'm not much help - sorry, but I am thinking of you and sending you all my support!!
XX

Mammyshirl, why not contact your local benefits office and have a benefits check. Also do look at the threads on debt reduction. I think credit card debts are tough ones but can be tackled.

aloha and sonnet -
thanks!
is stoneyrokes advice on this thread?
i went to the benefits office a few months back toget on the housing register and sat down with some guy for acouple of hours going through my problem. he said i was not entitled to anything as far as theywhere conceerned we earned enough. but after bills and debts we dont - i know its nottheir problem. i just want to work to pay off my debts.
do youk now if i can get out of my tenancy contract if we did find somewhere cheaper?
if you coul dgive me any links that would be great.
i know im bad moaning as i know other people hane much more immediate problems. my problem is not just this, son both side of our familes there are major health and other issues with our families so i guess its just getting me down. im not good at talking about my problrms, i always feel like i need tobe strong and justget on with it. but mumsnet really helps me let it out. its great!

sorry for all the typing errors

Stonybroke's thread is linked to by Zebra in a post further down at 11.30 yesterday. There's loads of good advice about debt reduction and stonybroke's positive outcome which might help cheer you up.

If I were you, I'd take a deep breath, grab a coffee/tea and settle down and read stoneybrokes thread...That should inspire you to make a list of what you need to tackle.
First thing should be to check out your contract and see if there is a get out clause
Second is to swap all credit cards to zero percent ones and DO NOT USE ANY MORE.
So go on, read the thread and then post on here afterwards and we'll all help you come up with some actions...

Hello Sonnet

I had a quick look - im at work so cant look too long. im glad to say im not in that much debt so i feel slightly better. i cut my 3 credit cards up last november so i would not use them over xmas. one of them is almost paid off.
ill have to check my contract when i go home.
i did have 0% ontertest cards but the free perios has run out so im going to change them again, would like to get both cards transferred to one really.
just banged my leg really hard on the cornber of my desk and its f***g killing... but other than that i feel alot better. think i just need tsome evening primose oil tablets.

Sorry about your leg mammyshirl. As long as your balances aren't too huge you should be able to combine them. Get them moved asap. Do you have any other debt you could transfer in this way eg hire purchase (you know buy now pay later with a thousand percent interest )?

gosh am so angry at a lot of the posts on this thread

i dont know where to start ..so i wont at the mo