Male Nursery Nurses - What do you all think?

[M2T]

At ds's nursery they have just hired a male Deputy Manager. He is really nice and the kids love him. I thought it was nice to see a man working in a predominantly female stereotyped role. I work in an industry where women aren't really welcomed, so I know how awkward he must've felt at the beginning.

DH, however, wasn't so keen on the idea. He didn't like the idea of a man changing ds's nappy and stuff. I talked him round and he has spoken to the guy now, but I think that his reaction is probably quite common.

I've never heard of a male nursery nurse and wondered if anyone else had. Are there different rules for what a man can do and not do within nursery??

I'm all for it and think we need more men coming forward and doing what must be a very tiring, but rewarding job.

I've heard that maria too. But the general public would still trust them more that a male nursery worker iykwim.

Yeah, you're right Pie. I suppose I'd be surprised that a man would want to look after babies, simply because every man i know, including proud dads, finds non-verbal kids of limited interest. like to think i'd be rational about this.

I've spoken to dd's nursery re new male carer. Felt guilty asking the obvious - is he police checked (yes of course) is he qualified (yes)... feel much better now have asked. But I'd never have checked up on a new female carer like that. Awful to have to be so suspicious. Now it's a question of getting to know and trust him.

I do think there is a difference between doctors/nurses and eg teachers - for a start there is v long and arduous training to be a paediatrician, there would be a lot easier ways to get at children than do that! And you have to be a very special type of person to handle dealing with very sick and injured children all the time - again, if you just wanted access to children I'd have thought you wouldn't want to deal with sick ones. I do think that paediatricians as a breed are generally exceptionally nice people. I would agree with MariaLuisa that male gynaes are not generally such a nice breed - there is always a bit of a power thing going on and often a bit of creepiness. And as the daughter of a male gynaecologist who must have met about 25 of his male colleagues over the years, I really do believe this (and more to the point, so does my mother!!!)

ho hum, I'll get shot down on that one as well.
Again, I DON@T think that men shouldn't do these jobs, but I DO think that a lot of them do them for the wrong reasons and one has to be vigilant. I really do think so I'm afraid.

PPH - Teachers have a long training process too though. My friend (female) had to a degree, then a years teacher training, then a year as a probationary teacher. So all in all thats 6 yrs before she was a fully qualified Teacher (Secondary School). So I must disagree with you about the comparison to the level training. 6 yrs is also a long time for a person to go through training purely to get access to young children.

Nurseries, however I think are a year? Might be wrong.

PPH, glad I didn't offend you!

I fell in love with the paediatrician at dd1's birth. Any bloke who could pause and introduce himself nicely to a woman with her feet up in stirrups about to have emergency ventouse - seriously, he gave me back a bit of dignity. And then he was so taken with the baby. Sorry to digress there.

I've always liked mine, he's seen me through both live births and the aftermath of Tom's death, but I think I finally fell for him when he sat at the end of my bed in 40 degrees and said, Marina, you were right to be scared of c-sections, they really don't suit you at all.
Otherwise agree with others here that male gynaecologists are often worthy of suspicion - I think that reptile Rodney Ledward is the most extreme example I can come up with.
But then I'm a TUBE survivor - my solo GP some years ago (now dead) liked anyone on the pill to strip to the waist so he could have a good feel before issuing a new prescription. I NEVER thought to query this as I was much younger and more naive than I am now.
Far more concerned about this issue than about the lovely, committed and professional male teachers and nursery nurses I have met - but like PPh, my distrust is based on personal experience.

Crunchie, i wouldn't only take my dd to a female Doc,(though i prefer one !SORRY). I don't suspect all Doctors and just wanted to say i honestly don't suspect all men. He could be the nicest guy in the world. i just wouldn't want him touching my daughter there! I am aware i sound a bit ott but i'm not honest, quite sane just a bit over-sensitive maybe to these issues.
I never even thought about them till i worked with the kids in care so may have been a different person had i not worked there. At my dd's birth, i had requested female staff but when dd was in trouble the paediatrician who came in was male. This was fine and he was great

Don't forget that nursery nurses when training are observed, and nothing is done in private and behind closed doors. DD is changed in a room which is opposite the kitchen area and between the baby room and the toddler room. You can also see intot he room as you come up the last few stairs. There is no door on the room at all - so everything is in full view.

I hope it becomes more common, but sadly feel that many men are probably put off by people's reactions and suspicions. I find it really sad as so many children could do with an extra male role model in their lives.

Hey, even the Tweenies have a male career too!

Angeliz please don't apoligize there is no need. I understand that some people, due to experience or whatever, would simply prefer female doctors etc.

I suppose I am sad that as a society it is seen as an issue regarding men and small children, whether they work with them, or want to take them to the loo, there is so much suspiscion. Of course we all have to take precautions, I am sure many of you here would freak at the lack of precautions I take. However I have no experience of any problems. It just upsets me the level of fear in this country

taking up the point about police checking, I wish I knew exactly what gets checked in a standard police check. What happens? how far does it go? what boxes are ticked? Personally, I haven't much of a clue. I've never had a police check done on me.

When I've had dealings with nurseries, childminders and schools, I've been told from time to time that staff have had police checks, but there's no information given out to say what is checked. Since this procedure is a key reason to trust a new adult with your child, I find it odd that info leaflets on police checking are not readily available to parents.

I was having a think about the loo issue. When I take my sons out, we have batters problem in reverse - boys/mother. I let my 9 year old go to male loos alone. I have on rare occasions let a male member of staff take my 4 year old into a male loo - but not the cubicle itself. I use my judgement and would not do this if I felt I had lost contact with my son. If the loo is a tiny one and I can stand outside the door, can talk to my son and hear exactly what is going on I feel OK about it. Any hint of difficulty and I would rush in! Batters, I wonder why the restaurant manager did not offer to let a female member of staff take your dd to the female loo, with your dh standing just outside, if he felt this was a safe choice?

There is some information about CRB checks here .

I've been rather saddened by some of the discussion here. Surely your children are going to be picking up on these sorts of fears and insecurities? I know they are not totally groundless fears, but you can't keep children wrapped up in cotton wool forever. I am a great believer in freedom for children, and am very surprised that people nowadays would hesitate even to take the 'risk' of having a male primary school teacher for their children.

Toilets are a problem though. Public male toilets can be horrid places, and if you are in an unfamiliar setting can actually be notorious locations. My boys still come in the ladies with me (they are 4 and 6), but the 6 yr old is very tall .. already he is starting to get 'looks' when we go in the ladies changing area at swimming.

A friend of older boys told me she always goes in and checks the gents are empty before she lets her boys in. I'm not sure I'd have the guts to do that. And anyway they are still often dirty and smelly ... Fortunately ds1 has a cast iron bladder and rarely needs to go when we are out and about

thanks for the link, hulababy. It is very informative. But I have never seen that information in a leaflet format. I think it would be really good to have this info freely accessible at nurseries and childminders estaghlishments,and possibly schools. And make it clear what staff have had standard checks, and enhanced checks.

KMG - the loo and changing room thing is a problem as sons get older IME. I have even had complaints from another woman about him sitting at the side while I did and all female gym class. There is no way my 9 year old could go into a female loo or changing room with me now, unless there's a family section. I have to trust him, make sure I feel OK about the particular loo/changing room he will visit, and ask him afterwards if everything was OK.

Or go the way of the French and have "unisex" toilets and then the problems are solved.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest having to use unisex toilets and it does make me laugh (and probably the French!) how the Brits are so hung up about using single sex loos.

I saw a wonderful Ad in the Recruitment section of the Scotsman newspaper this morning!

It was looking for people to train in childcare and in huge letters it said:

"Children need men too!"

I thought that was lovely and shows that they are actively trying to get more men into childcare. Just thought I'd share that with you all.

In reply to kmg1, i know my dd has not the foggiest idea of my fears because it's never discussed infront of her.