Male Nursery Nurses - What do you all think?

[M2T]

At ds's nursery they have just hired a male Deputy Manager. He is really nice and the kids love him. I thought it was nice to see a man working in a predominantly female stereotyped role. I work in an industry where women aren't really welcomed, so I know how awkward he must've felt at the beginning.

DH, however, wasn't so keen on the idea. He didn't like the idea of a man changing ds's nappy and stuff. I talked him round and he has spoken to the guy now, but I think that his reaction is probably quite common.

I've never heard of a male nursery nurse and wondered if anyone else had. Are there different rules for what a man can do and not do within nursery??

I'm all for it and think we need more men coming forward and doing what must be a very tiring, but rewarding job.

You do all know that the MAJORITY of sexual abuse is perpetrated by a family member don't you?

I do found all this a bit sad I never realsied som many people would fel like this in days of equal opps and all that.

One of the reasons men don't go into these professions (other than pay) is that they are worried about people's suspicions. This then means that males in these roles are more scare. I suspect it is that scarcity that arises the suspicions in people. Hence, a horrid circle that isn't broken.

i do pie, i am also very cautious who i leave her with. She stays with my mam and dad but my sisters boyfriend who i've known for a year, i wouldn't as i feel i don't know him well enough!

Good point Pie. It is normally family members, not strangers.

BTW, some females do abuse too and use their authority to do so. How many stories have we had in recent years of female teachers seducing male teenage pupils? Bizarrelt they are not given them same condemnation by the public than if it were a male teacher and a female pupil.

It is sad, but i really wouldn't mind my dd being taught by a male teacher, as others have said, positive male influences are good, i just wouldn't allow the "changing" part.

Angeliz, don't you think you are over-protecting her?

But that is the bit I find so sad Angeliz. I have no problems at all with it. I'd treat male nursery workers as professionsals, trained to do their job - as I do all the girls who work at DD's nursery.

Isn't it sex discrimantion though if a male nursery nurse is barred fro doing part of his job and female staff aren't?

No i don't.
I think she needs my protection at this age more than she ever will and i have to make the choices i see fit for her.

The discrimination thing seems to be cropping up a lot here, but noone seems to be able to answer the question. Does anyone know? I am curious.

i suppose it is sad Hulababy, but i think in the end we all have our own beleifs and many times these have been formed based on past experiences. I think i would feel like this whatever, but also things i've seen have convinced me that it's right.

The point for me is, if (GOD FORBID!) anything were to happen to dd and it was in a situation i had allowed, then i would feel it was my fault she got hurt.
Now i KNOW when she reaches School age, or maybe nursery if she goes this year, i have to trust other people with her and i just pray they are all good people.
I am repeating myself but it's just eliminating risks!

I agree Angeliz - everyone has their own beliefs and some, sadly, have circumstances from their experiences, that makes it a harder thing for them to deal with.

I am lucky. I have no reason to be suspicous at all. But I also know that I can't protect DD from everything as she does go to nursery twice a week and I am not there. I just have to put my trust in those who look after me for her.

I am also pretty lax with family too - again, fortunately have no reason not to be. My parents and DH's parents change and bath her, my brother has, My BIL has and my sister.

Besides her new trick is to take every stitch of her clothing off at every opportunity so can't do much about who sees her then

Hulababy i'd be running after her with a towel! (JOKE I'm not that paranoid with my immediate family. Have to admit i am with sisters boyfreind though. I just don't know the guy. Trust my other brother in law as i've known him years.
I worked in residential childcare before dd so probably have seen the worst case scenarios and been scared ny them!

OK, genuine question here. For those of you who think that men working in nurseries (or Primary schools) are possibly a bit iffy...would you refuse to leave your child in a hospital if the paediatrician or nurse was male? Also do you ever think that a gynaecologist who is male might also be not entirely 'normal'? If you have no problem with these male professionals caring for your children or your private parts, why do you afford them a level of professionalism and trust that you would find hard to give to a male nursery worker or primary school teacher? Honestly, not trying to wind anyone up, just asking for the sake of the debate and because I'm genuinely curious.

I guess with your experiences you are likely to be more safety conscious, yes - mean that in a good way

The clothes thing is so funny at times. This weekend her little friend came round with his dad. DD and friend playing nicely in bedroom where he came through saying "Mollie no clothes on". Sure enough when we all went into the bedrrom she was completely naked and jumping up and down telling the world about it Just hope she doesn't do when they are together in her room aged 16!!!

oooh pie that's an interesting one. I have to say, i'm still cautious! When dd had an operation they wanted to give her an enema and that upset me, (but i agreed as i wouldn't go as far as letting my worries cause her physical pain!), in the end they didn't have to!
I would still (and am) be wary i'm afraid, but i don't see a male Paediatrician and think of that i guess !

You know something it would never have occured to me that people who have a problem with hteir partners taking kids into the mens loos!! As far as seeing another mans willy, don't men face the wall/urinal when peeing, and put it away before they turn around? This means my dd's wouldn't see anything would they? Also usually the cubicles are opposite the urinals, therefore if dh was taking them into for a wee, they would be 'protected' by his body as well (?) wouldn't they?

I think Tom has made the most relvant point here, if the cp policies are good, there would be no need to worry - wih open door changing rooms etc in nurseries.

My next door neighbours are both primary teachers, he went into it as he knew as a man his prospects would be far far better and he would become a head really quickly. My dd's school has a male head and at least one male teacher. My dh does loads of teaching (drama) of primary school kids too. In fact it really upset him one time when he went to cover another class, he and another actor (female) did the workshop, but when a parent came to pick up her dd she went bonkers. Started yelling at dh and saying that she should have been forwarned that a MAN was going to be in the room (with another adult present!) and that she would not have sent her dd to class, and that my dh should be ashamed of himself!!!! He has had police checks, he goes into loads of school situations, but as a guest there is no time he is 'alone' with any pupil. This is for his protection too. When he had a proper drama teachers job, he had his own class (no FEMALE shock horror!) and as a teacher did far better.

I want strong role models, male and female, for my kids, and I am so happy when their swimming teacher/class teacher/music teacher or whatever turns out to be male.

I am so sorry that others feel differently

lol Hulabay, but that innocence is so precious and i'd hate to stop that for my dd. I guess that's what fairymum meant.

Good point Pie - Hadn't thought of that!

V interesting question Pie. But since I am of the same opinions as Hulababy and see male childcarers as a positive I can't answer.

Blu I'm glad you would be happy on the toilet issue but suspect you are in a minority. Not that I can imagine DH in a million years considering taking DS into the ladies so not really an issue.

Crunchie, i think that is awful and wouldn't go that far. It was obviously over-reacting.
I am really enjoying this debate but must go as i have promised dd i'll make her a dolls house from a shoebox Will check back later

Well my brother is a peadiatrician and most obs/gyne consultants are male (I think) are we now saying we would only take our children to see female doctors??

I really hope not, Angeliz I do understand your concerns, I certainly don't dismiss them and can totoally see your point. I just feel it is a sad reflection of society that you are forced to feel this way

I agree Crunchie...and there does seem to be a double standard.

Pie, men who go into obs and gynae are generally regarded by their fellow medical students as being a bit creepy (sorry if that offends any MNer who's married to one). At St Mary's medschool (now Imperial College) in Paddington, "future gynaecologist" was the standard term of abuse for any male student who was a bit dodgy/slimey, IYSWIM

I really like the idea of male carers. It gives the children a chance to see men in a caring and nuturing role, and they enjoy playing with them too. I've only been able to have a quick look at this thread (long!), but it's sad to see that so many people are worried about the idea. As Tom says, the CP policies should be in place to protect children from risk of abuse from both male and female carers.

I think more men should be encouraged to help look after children - not only do the children enjoy the contact with men (and get a different view of the world), but it's good for men too.