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Original poster

Would you turn down a $200,000 job to be a SAHM mum?

114 replies

Moknicker · 09/01/2013 19:27

I used to work part time in the UK at my job but recently moved to the US due to DH's job. Ive had no luck at all looking for part time jobs - the only offer on the table is a full time job for a salary of $200,000.

I really enjoy my job and value my career.

I can afford not to work.

But I have worked so hard to get here, against all odds. I don't want to throw it all away. On the other hand, DCs are small - 3.5 and 2. WWYD?

OP posts:
Gumby · 09/01/2013 19:29

I'd definitely take it

Who knows they might let you reduce your hours later

Kendodd · 09/01/2013 19:30

They are small, but they're not tiny, being breast feed.

If you took the job could you just work 9-5 or would they want a lot more?

GetOrf · 09/01/2013 19:32

God that is hard.

I think what would put me off a bit is the inflexibility of the US terms and conditions in comparison to the UK. So presumably you would only get 10 days hol a year.

And for a job of that level would they have a work you to death presenteeism culture. I used to work for american multinationals where the senior execs never stopped working. It would be bloody difficult to balance that with a working dh and 2 small children.

But - but - I would hate hate not to work at all, and feel that my career was pissing away. Is the job something you are passionate about. If thiss role is something you have strived for for years it would be hard to pass it by.

God knows. What a difficult decision that must be.

GetOrf · 09/01/2013 19:33

I do know where the question mark is, honestly.

mummyplonk · 09/01/2013 19:34

Congratulations, jobs don't come along like that very often. As long as the job was 9-5 as mentioned by kendodd and no weekends or evenings were expected I would snap their hand off (smile) however if it was a work as and when the business determines which that kind of salary could demand I think I wouldn't risk upsetting the family balance.

Original poster
Moknicker · 09/01/2013 19:37

It wont be 9-5 - certainly not at the beginning when Im trying to prove myself. I gently tested the waters about part time but was very firmly squished. I was only able to negotiate part time in the UK job after I had worked at the company for 6 years.

Somebody take the decision for me please. ARGGHH.

OP posts:
AnnIonicIsoTronic · 09/01/2013 19:37

You need more info here. For example, are any other family members available to help? How do you get on with the idea of a nanny?

izzyishappilybusy · 09/01/2013 19:37

I would turn it down based on my k knowledge of American wworking hours/holidays but then money and career dont interest me - I'd probably have answered differently when younger - priorities have changed with age

Original poster
Moknicker · 09/01/2013 19:40

AnnIonicIsoTronic - No family here but I am comfortable with the idea of nanny - well a supernanny. I havent found this mythical creature as yet but it looks like the US has much more of a nannyculture so Im optimistic that i can if I need to.

OP posts:
GetOrf · 09/01/2013 19:41

What support do you have? Do you have any family there - presumably not if you hav relocated. If not, you will need shit hot childcare. Icant imagine a role for that salary would ever be 9-5.

Original poster
Moknicker · 09/01/2013 19:42

GetOrf - you are right - certainly wont be 9-5 at least at the beginning.

You see why Im struggling with this.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/01/2013 19:42

In the US? No.

houseelfdobby · 09/01/2013 19:43

Could you postpone the decision for a year?

I would say it's not worth it for now (you can afford not to work) BUT retaining the ability to command that kind of salary and the self respect that goes with it might be invaluable to you in years to come...

It's a wealth trap. I've been there. Not sure there is a right answer but at least it is a quality problem.

angelinterceptor · 09/01/2013 19:43

I would take the job - you never know how it will turn out.
You can give it 6 months - year and see how it goes.

Original poster
Moknicker · 09/01/2013 19:44

expatinscotland - why not in the US. Would it be a yes if in the UK then?

OP posts:
shartsi · 09/01/2013 19:44

I would do the job for 2-4 years, saving as much as i can and then be a SAHM.

Abra1d · 09/01/2013 19:46

Do it for a year. Save as much of the money as you can. If you know you have an out after 12 months it will be bearable, if you find the hours too gruelling with small children.

TravelinColour · 09/01/2013 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KobayashiMaru · 09/01/2013 19:51

I'd try it. If it doesn't work out you can quit. If you don't try it you can't go back, and you'll never know if it could have been good.

LillianGish · 09/01/2013 19:53

It's a nice dilemma to have! How much do you enjoy being home with your kids? The thing is you can always get another job, but you can never get that time back. It does sound like an amazing offer in terms of salary, but I wouldn't have missed out on those early years for any money. That's not intended as a judgement on anyone who did just pointing out that we are all different.

ceeveebee · 09/01/2013 19:53

I would do it - your DCs are not that young, they'll be going to school soon (kindergarten?) and you can always leave if it gets too stressful

I was on more than that before I had my twins but was adamant I did not want to work full time until they are old enough for preschool. So I plan to go back when they get to the age your oldest is - if I can find a job

Original poster
Moknicker · 09/01/2013 19:55

LillianGish - To be honest, the thought of being a SAHM mum scares me just because i dont think i am cut out for it. I enjoyed working part-time - gave me time with the kids, and time away from them.

I guess the question is - can i get another job after staying out the job market?

OP posts:
LillianGish · 09/01/2013 19:57

In that case I'd probably lean towards taking it - find a fabulous nanny and work towards going part-time.

Snog · 09/01/2013 20:01

Do you love your work? If so then definitely take the job.

You can always resign or look to go part time later if it doesn't work out!
There are no perfect solutions for most mothers so staying at home is unlikely to be perfect anyhow. Presumably you could spend lots of time with the dc every weekend and will have lots of domestic support?

It is hard on the career to take time out with kids - something I think most women don't fully appreciate until they try to get back into the labour market after a few years out. I also think your relationship with your dh will probably work better if you are both working with good domestic support.

Just my view though Smile

Original poster
Moknicker · 09/01/2013 20:04

Snog - I do love my work - problem is I love my DCs too and the thought of handing over pretty much full on care to someone else when they are so young bothers me.

Ceeveebee - its funny - your post summed up my original thinking - part time it/take maternity leave as much as i could in the early years and once they were about 2/3 go back full time. Now that i am actually in the position, i find it very difficult.

OP posts:
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