Would you turn down a $200,000 job to be a SAHM mum?

[Moknicker]

I used to work part time in the UK at my job but recently moved to the US due to DH's job. Ive had no luck at all looking for part time jobs - the only offer on the table is a full time job for a salary of $200,000.

I really enjoy my job and value my career.

I can afford not to work.

But I have worked so hard to get here, against all odds. I don't want to throw it all away. On the other hand, DCs are small - 3.5 and 2. WWYD?

[dreamingbohemian]

I think you should take it. 50 hours a week is not impossible! Unless you have a long commute on top of that?

I'm American and it's not all horror stories, working in America, it really depends on the firm.

If your ultimate preference is to go freelance, then I think it makes sense to take this job for a year or two, build up the contacts, and then be able to go freelance and work from home when your children are older and will remember/enjoy your being there to do the school run and all that. Not to mention all the money you can save, which can be a cushion while you start your own consulting.

Remember that in the US we don't do long maternity leaves or gap years or long-term sick notes or anything like that, so gaps on a CV are much more noticeable and frowned upon. I would be seriously worried about finding a similar job if you don't work for a couple more years.

It's concerning that your husband is not in favour though. Why? You don't want to end up with a situation where, if anything goes wrong, his response is basically, you wanted to work so you deal with it.

[Moknicker]

Thank you to everyone who responded and all your views.

Update on my situation - I turned down the job in the end for the following reasons:

• The company seemed extremely inflexible and expected some travel
  
• DH is traveling quite a lot so this would be hard to do
  
• My DS is going through terrible twos and seems to benefit from some one on one time with me
  
• Finally and dont know if this is true, a couple of headhunters said that in the US employers were relaxed about a career break of upto 2 years due to the shocking maternity leave policies here
  

I may live to regret this a couple of years down the line but have concluded that as a mum and working woman it is difficult if not impossible to optimise your life all the time.

[ElectricSheep]

Don't ever regret your decision OP.

Your DC are people - the most important people in your life and are well worth putting before some stupid job that expects blood from you and to take over your life.

Your DC may not remember the time you have at home with them now, but your influence will shape their personalities and characters all their lives.

I can't say in 2 years the decision will look any easier. IME DC need you just as much as they get older, just in a different way. If I were you I'd look at consulting roles where you can choose part-time commitments.

[happyyonisleepyyoni]

Do you know what OP, I think there will be something even better, not necessarily in money terms, but that will suit you better, around the corner.

Life has a way of working out like that.

I think its for the best, enjoy some time at home and look again when you are ready.

[Mama1980]

For what it's worth I would have turned it down too.

[musicalfamily]

Well done for making a decision, it is very hard....but two years isn't a long time and you might feel ready sooner. Like others' said, when you are ready there will be other opportunities out there that might suit better.

[dufflefluffle]

I would jump on it!!! I have been a sahm for 10 years. I completely value what I have done and I have enjoyed almost all of it and hope that my children benfitted from it. However, our situation has changed in a way we never anticipated and I am now looking for a job. Any job at all but I have been turned down for everything. My ten years at home have evidently wiped out my previous experience. My voluntary work and OU studies while being a sahm also seem to be negated by my sahm years. So the upshot is that while being a sahm might be of value to you, your children and your partner, it will not do your career any good and if you take this job you may be able to look again for something part-time in a year or so time. Well done you!

[dufflefluffle]

OOPS Moknicker - just read your update. Well, fwiw I do think children benefit from having a parent at home - I am just being bitter negative on the back of the discouraging feedback I've had on my attempt to return to work. Enjoy your time at home.

[fluffymindy]

Brilliant, I am delighted. No one lays on their death bed and wishes they had worked harder on their career. SAHM is hard but I did the working thing with my first two and then stayed at home after that and there is a palpable difference between how it was for my children. In difficult situations re. work with no family, the only thing that can 'give' is the children and they end up being compromised. I know that is not a populkar view but it is what I believe and I would never like to give full time care of my children to anyone else.

[Moknicker]

Dufflefluffle - Im so sorry to hear about the job hunt struggle. Im quite nervous about that at my end as well. Hope you have some luck soon. The state of the economy cant be helping.

[handcream]

I would have taken it tbh. However I am surrpised that some are posting that for $200k could you work 9-5 - are they serious. Of course you couldnt! That's why people earn those sorts of amounts of money!

[chipmonkey]

Take it for 6 months and see how you feel after that

[chipmonkey]

Sorry, Mo, should have read the whole thread!

[peanutbuttersarnies]

Definitely turn it down. Time with your kids when they are little is worth more than anything. It'd be different if you really needed the money.