Gross Misconduct, desperate for advice.

[ditavonteesed]

Right I have told this story on here a few times over the last week but I am going out of my mind so please bear with me.
Dh got a call from a branch of his company to say that he could do something with regard to a customer that he actually couldnt (in procedure), the branch wre ot very happy and said they were going to phone one of the managers, not dh's manager. Dh walked into this managers office to warn her of the coming phone call but the manager was already on the phone, he made a hand gesture and said quietly they are talking bollocks, the manager then shouted at dh 'dont you swear at me'. Dh apologised in a whisper and left, hee went back when he saw this manager was free and said 'I am sorry you thought I was swearing at you, I wasnt and I am really sorry if you thought that or I upset you'.

At this point the manager started shoouting at dh about lying and having a bad attitude and various other personal attacks, dh said that the manager was a bully and he wasnt going to take that.
He then went into his own managers office to tell him what was happening and the 1st manager followed him and continued to shout at him, I believe dh was shouting back, she ignored him, was rude to him and was very personal, she turned away from dh when he was speaking and spoke to his manageer over his head, dh then stepped inbetween the managers and the 1st manager said to dhs manager 'see that he is turning his back on his manager he isnt allowed to do that'.

Dh said he did not get any closer to the 1 st manager but stepped into her line of site.
She has put 2 complaints in about dh, one for swearing at her, and a second claim of Gross Misconduct saying that dh was threatening, intimdating and abusive.

This manager has put in complaints against at least one member of staff in the past who is still there.
She has also put in various informal complaints to dhs manager about most of dhs team.
Dhs manager is on his side and has backed him 100% however the decisions do not lie with him.
Please tell me he isnt going to get fired.

Has he been suspended?

No

Is he in a union?
If so he needs to speak to his rep.
Possibly about starting a grievance against the managers behaviour if he feels she was being abusive or bullying?
Certainly to get representation.

he had a meeting on mon or tues with hr where they asked him loads of questions and typed up a statment which he had to sign. this is the first actual notice of anything happeneing

Was he notified in advance about the meeting and given the opportunity to take someone with him?

Generally if somewhere is seriously considering gross misconduct, they would suspend while the investigation takes place. I second the advice of talking to his union and considering a grievance against the manager. I'd expect there to be some finding against him (saying bollocks while a colleague is on the phone won't look great), but it sounds like a lot of unprofessional behaviour all round and I'd be surprised if anything serious like dismissal happened.

he isnt in a union, he has said he is sorry and takes full responsibility for an unproffessional error of judgement, he has not been notified about anything other than this meeting on mon.

dh has come home very upset, he thinks they are trying to get rid, meeting isnt till 4pm mon and I have no idea qwhat to do. I honestly can not take another weekend like this, they are going to fire him I know it, what do we need to do, who do we nneed to see.

To be productive (until someone qualified turns up to offer advice) see if you can dig out a copy of his contract.It should outline the disciplinary and grievance procedures.
So he has had one meeting,last Monday and now has another meeting this Monday?
Has he been given written notification of the meeting and advised of that he can take someone with him?

of this one yes, I have just been looking through the grievance procedure and it says that suspension is likely in the case of gross misconduct, I may well be wrong but I think that means that it is unlikely that they are considering it gross misconduct. II feel absolutly sick. he has the statments of everybody involved.

As far as I'm aware (but I may be wrong here),I thought a disciplinary meeting needed to be notified in writing and he needs to be allowed reasonable time to arrange representation if he so wishes.
I would have thought that if this hasn't happened he could have the meeting postponed to allow for this,and then seek advice .(CAB? Is there still a free half hour legal advice scheme?) He really needs someone to go in with him.Is there a friend who has some idea of employment rights? I don't believe this person has the right to speak on his behalf,but they do act as a witness to what is said.

From what you said,I think Gross Misconduct sounds a bit extreme for what has happened and I agree withMainly that I can't see him losing his job over this,although maybe a warning of some sort.

But it still leaves whether you dh feels the manager is a bully or has behaved badly and whether your dh feels up to tackling that via the grievance procedure.

I really hope someone who knows what they're talking about comes along - like I say,I want to offer support,but I really am not speaking from a knowledgeable point of view and could well be wrong.

Sorry x posted.
When did he get written notification?

about 4pm this afternoon, apparently his manger has stated that he was intimdating so I guess he is screwed, I wish I wasnt here I cant take this.

Does the letter state what they are investigating in the disciplinary meeting (ie what the 'charges' are?)
I would imagine it would only be fair for him to be told this so he can prepare a defence to those 'charges'.
If they are looking at gross misconduct,I imagine that would be referred to in the letter(?)

I dont know, I honesltt dont knnow He is going to get fired and cant take it. I dont kbnow what to do my whole life is falling apart.

I thought that you were allowed up to 5 working days to arrange representation.

I could be wrong but I would say it was unreasonable to expect you to arrange representation over a weekend for a Monday meeting.

I have tried to read the stuff but I just keep crying so I cant take it in, plus I dont actually know what it means. dh loves it job, this is hell.

an he wont ever be able to gget another job will he?

How do we get a union, before Monday?

Please try not to get too upset, dita

I am trying, between us we have been made redundant 5 times in the last 9 years and I just cant take it anymore, if dh gets fired which I think he is probably going to he wont ever be able to get another job, I just got offered a job and I should be having a really happy time celebrating and I just feel sick, I cant stop crying now, dd1 is really upset and I dont know how to explain to them.

If he joined a Union now I don't think they would be able to act for him in a situation where he is already in dispute.
But you can spend your time to make sure you have good advice.

How, I dont even know where to start.

I think keep bumping here for starters dita.

Can you look on gov.uk or similar?

I think it is really hard because he doesnt really know what he is being accused of and what the possible outcome is, I had convinced myself it would all be ok but now I dont think it will. I am going to try and read the stuff again.