Childcare costs are incredible, how do so many women afford to work

[Zealey]

Hi, I'm sure many people have asked this question before, but I've just seen a piece on the BBC News about how childcare costs are often thousands of pounds a month for multiple kids.
Here in London my local nursery charges £750 per child per month. Considering many return to work mums will be typically part-time and in low paid jobs, HOW does ANY make it pay? Surely not every mum in London is on £40k+ a year.
I'm sincerely curious.
Thanks.

Sorry to be moving slightly off-thread, but I just don't get what it is about marketing that earns people so much? What do they dooo exactly? I vaguely know a couple of people who are 'in marketing' and they seem to earn shed loads, while (seemingly) swanning about a lot and being able to drop-off/collect children etc. Grrrr, I'm not bitter . . . .

JJKM and ASH. Don't worry people in these positions are no better and anyway weren't they banished to a far away planet? (Hitch hikers guide) lol.

JJKM and ASH. Don't worry people in these positions are no better and anyway weren't they banished to a far away planet? (Hitch hikers guide) lol.

I've just had our third baby (3 months ago) and handed in my notice last week after many many angst filled weeks of soul searching and finally realising that I couldn't have it all. I could do it all. But not have it all. I tried. I really did.
But it's just better for me, and my children, for me to be available . It actually became trickier as they got older and now the eldest two are creeping up to the age where holiday clubs won't take them, and childminders don't want to do ad hoc holiday care (I tried to find one) it's harder. Do I leave them home alone for hours on end in the holidays? No. Couldn't do it.
Thanks to Xenia for shitting on stay at home Mothers from a great height. I'm sure she's got some dumb assed oppressed childminder skivvy to do her menial work for her whilst she's forging ahead in her power suits. News Flash- someone has to do the childcare. I hope your childcare provider knows you think it's a shit job to do.

Xenia says: 'Some housewives think they alone on the planet can bring up baby and yet they only have to elevate themselves to that position because they have so little else in their lives at whichthey are any good so they deify their housewife and mother status. It's quite funny to see but totally wrong.'

Xenia, what's wrong with a woman wanting to bring up her baby? You make it sound so unnatural and wrong for a woman to prefer to be the primary care giver for the child she gave birth to. I find that attitude bizarre. It's probably just a desperate attempt to justify the endless hours you miss by being away at work and absent from their lives. See, I can be simplistic and offensive too.

Xenia - it is fine to live your life how you wish to, but standing in such lofty judgement over others - especially when it comes to their wish to simply be at home with their babies - is not nice and also ignorant. You have no idea of individual circumstances. Whatever happened to live and let live? I want to stay at home as much as I can and have been systematically building up contracts that will me to work from home, and take on limited PT work outside the home when ready. What other people do is very much their own choice and I would never stand in judgement over them.

Well I have been a sahm for 20 years and find it the most rewarding and fullfilling job I have done and yes it can be a job! During this time I have gained a BA Hons, MA and PG Exec Dip in Management, with no need to leave the family. So you can keep your high powered suits, I find them very sad and pity people like this, as far better to be a person than a number in a corporate.

Ooh defensive or what!!
If you're happy with your choice then you shouldn't need to denigrate others.
FWIW Ive been a mum for nearly 20 years; being a parent and raising happy and healthy children is a wonderful thing, but you really don't need to "pity" those of us who combine it with a fulfilling career too. Btw I'm not into power dressing or designer suits, but i enjoy my work, just as thousands of other mums do

I was not being defensive but supporting the previous posters Henrysmama, and Lottylou. My pity is for those who think sahm have nothing else in their lives but their children. I have always been happy with my choices in life, if not I change them, its not rocket science.

Yes but the reality is that most working mums are normal women who try and juggle work and children, I don't recognise the stereotype on here of women in power suits who are never there to see their children, at least I don't come across any.

It's as bad a stereotype to say that all SAHMs haven't got a life and helicopter parent their children, I am sure most people try their best to give their children the best start in life, which includes the best balance for the family.

Childcare costs are exhorbitant and are the top reason why a lot of women do not go back to work, I do think help with childcare costs would benefit society as a whole (more women going to work, more tax revenue, etc) but that's an argument for another generation as I can't see more help coming this way anytime soon.

Exactly- having children and working are just normal things to do- indeed, the majority of parents work. Its just part of life.

I've just left a well paid "job in marketing" because I wouldnt go ft so i had to take redundancy. Throughout the years I've met loads of self righteous (London) sahm's who couldnt possibly work as they wanted 'to be there for the kids' now I dont work i realise I know lots of mums who 'need'
Something else in their life' grrrr. And now I realise it's not them who has the problem it's me! I realise it's me who needs to be happy with what I've got and stop trying to copy the lifestyle of other mums . So what if some work and some don't. It doesn't matter, what matters is that I my family unit works - inc dp - that we are happy or in tough times not drowning.

This time of reflection is making me realise it wasn't my job that was making me unhappy per se but the rushing around lifestyle trying to fit it all in( my job involved a lot of travel) when I do work it will be for less money I don't doubt but it will also be a local job because that's what works for us

I do all day friday, saturday, sunday and dh does mon, tues, weds, thurs
he gets a good wage, I get a lower wage, but we both feel it is important for me to work not only financially but so that I have independence to support myself if anything were to happen

this is probably wrong place to post, but DD (aged 21) looking to offer childcare during summer holds before heading out to Spain in August to au pair. We are in Scotland - is there a place to post this?

I work evenings, weekends, nights.

I have subsidised childcare - £116 a month for two days 9-3 a week ( this is primarily to allow me to sleep during night shift)

So I will often look after three DC all day and then work 9 hrs til midnight/ 1am or from 11.30pm til 8am, get up at 3pm to get girls from school/ nursery.

Little Albert you are amazing. I'm sure it's not easy. Halts off to you

I'm not amazing. Lots of women and men at my work do this - shift work is certainly one way to cut down on the costs of childcare.

My cousin and her DH are nurses and they would work opposing shifts to cut childcare costs.

I am expecting DC2, DC1 is 10. I earn 3x what my DP does. I am a midwife, earning 34k FT and he works in a supermarket earning 11k varying hours some weeks FT some a bit less.

For us the answer was easy. I work FT, he drops to his basic hours (19.5) and we get childcare for those days. He will then do the odd bit of overtime around my shifts.

Our childcare costs should only come to around £120 a month. We will be using a childminder for 1.5 days a week, and hopefully family for the other day if I am on a shift (its a saturday).

I don't have the liberty of set shifts, or changing my hours, or anything remotely flexible. I work what I get told to. Therefore it makes much more sense for DP to be the one to work less. If he worked FT his take home pay would be the same after paying for the FT childcare, so why not just work less for more rewards (more time with children!) If he wants to do FT he can, the only stipulation is he needs work on set days, then he can do or work wherever he likes. Or he has to earn more than me (and that isn't going to happen!) If he was to work shifts it would be an absolute nightmare. It's just the way it is. And we are happy with our arrangement.

By the way, it would be pointless for me to ever drop my hours. I would still have to pay for the same amount of childcare, and just earn less. When you don't work set days, it all becomes a bit of a nightmare. You might pay for 3 days, but not work those 3, and be in a completely different 3 days... then have to find the extra 3 days childcare.

Every family has their own way of managing things. What we do, works for us. Its probably quite unconventional really. My mum brought me up to be independent financially and to never rely on a man for money, so I am quite glad I earn more to be honest. It means I will never worry about being on my own with children, or if DP lost his job. We'd still get by. I admit to sometimes wishing I could work less, but really, I'd be quite bored!

I also think some people are paying crazy prices for childcare btw. If we had a FT place with a childminder, it would be around £120p/w. Hourly rates start from £2.75. This hasn't changed much from what I was paying for DC1 10 years ago - it was £2.50 p/h back then. That is in the NW.

If you don't qualify for any Govt help, ie, tax credits or if your DC are under 3, childcare is extortionate. Childcare vouchers make very little difference IMO it would have saved us 10% of the cost. Near us nurseries are charging £70per day per child FT.

I find that women who go back to work do it as it is preferential to being at home for whatever reason. It's not for the money.

It's for the money long term though?

I went back after six months. I'm an academic - now we really will be on our death beds saying 'I wish I'd done more work' I love my job and have a very flexible one do childcare hours aren't too long. For one child my costs are 600 a month - DH dropped to four days to have a daddy day with DS while I do long experiments. I take home 2200 ish so even with another child in the near future (hopefully) that'll be fine. We're in Scotland btw, just left London. In London I was on the same salary but childcare was 1100

BUT even if childcare was one whole salary we'd still both work, we're both on final salary pension schemes that have now closed and no way would I give that up - even having nothing spare for a year till hey start nursery is worth it when you think of all those retirement years