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Woolly hugs

Woolly Hugs is a charity established by a group of Mumsnet users. They knit / crochet handmade blankets and other items for families experiencing difficult times.

Original poster

Very sadly another blanket is needed, for Chipmonkey....

726 replies

RatherBeOnThePiste · 06/10/2011 22:22

We have heard the dreadfully sad news that Chipmonkey's baby daughter died unexpectedly this week. Condolence thread is here Chipmonkey has said tonight that she would love to receive a MN blanket.

Because Knotty is snowed under a mountain of wool, I am taking on the coordination for this, so if you are a donor or a crafter needing a match - please PM me and I will match you up. I know there is an amazing army of donor, knitter and crochet stars, and I am hoping that you will feel able to help with this blanket too.

So if you feel that you can help, please PM me with your offers: crafting, donating, need wool, don't need wool, and I will sort it all out, and when you are ready to post, PM me for the address.

I will have to get back on the deadline...

But thank you in advance.

OP posts:
Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 19/10/2011 15:14

I don't think I've said it all very clearly about the blanket making Sad It worries me about the time and energies it takes to actually put one together. The actual construction is incredibly time consuming, and as the blankets get a higher profile, they seem to come relentlessly. Too many lovely people are lost too soon, and we seem to be more aware.

I'm finding it tricky to say what I want to say here Sad

OP posts:
greenzebra · 19/10/2011 15:18

just to let you know Pistey I have received the wool yay and have started to make the squares, I am going to make a few and then send them to yoou this saturday. So I shall pm you at the end of the week for the address to send them to.

Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 19/10/2011 15:23

Brilliant greenzebra - you have a while yet anyway x

OP posts:
purplewerepidj · 19/10/2011 15:28

Thumby, if you're happy to take on the co-ordination and construction then go ahead and offer.

I'm going to make myself incredibly unpopular here, but oh well...

These blankets take an immense amount of time to construct. I was happy to do that because I was working in a job where I had time to spare. Things have changed, I'm no longer in that position, and I'm really struggling to finish Magic's. I will then have to find time to meet up with Pistey that's definitely not a hardship and put together Chipmonkey's. Knotty is currently making several blankets and organising a raffle, on top of working part time and raising a family.

It's a lovely thing to be able to offer something so lovely to a family suffering so much. But it's only a lovely thought if you are the person willing to put in the time and effort. It's a bit rude to just assume that it will fall into place because you see that an infrastructure is there.

It's incredibly difficult saying No when someone PM's you asking for help. I've had to do it, and DP has had to cope with the moody fall out when I felt guilty - even though he was the one coping with the tears and tiredness because I was overwhelmed. That's nothing compared with what the recipients of the blankets have to face, but it's the truth.

So, if you see someone you think needs a blanket, please have a think about who exactly will be putting the effort in. And what it will cost them...

Ok, shoot me now Sad

Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 19/10/2011 15:58

Not going to shoot you lovely Pidj, and I do understand what you are saying completely.

There are two parts to this. The blankets are truly amazing, knowing Blondes, and seeing how she received hers, and the emotional support she has felt and continues to feel from her woolly hug is immense, a powerful thing. There is no denying that. Blondes was blown away by the fact that MNetters she didn?t know, wanted to show her love and support.

But it genuinely worries me about their construction. Tis almost a full time job in terms of physical and emotional effort. Hours and hours and hours worth. I hate the thought of that being overwhelming for anyone. The blankets are high profile aren?t they? So more requests are made. Have they outgrown themselves? I really really hope not, and that there is a way to move forward.

Definitely not shooting anyone x

OP posts:
purplewerepidj · 19/10/2011 16:06

The effort put in is what makes them special.

But how the fuck on earth do you decide who gets one and who doesn't? If everyone who posted on Bereavement - and you can't deny that everyone deserves one - got a blanket, we'd all be bankrupt with no fingers. So, it has to be only for posters who are already an active part of the MN community. But who draws the line? And how do you decide where to stop - is it more important to get a blanket out to someone who needs the support, or more important to protect your own health?

TerrysNo2 · 19/10/2011 16:25

Maybe the blankets should be made for people who specifically ask or if someone offers it to an MN-er then they must be responsible for co-ordinating it all, including construction (or finding someone willing and able to do so). I can understand there is some emotional blackmail, however unintentional, when someone is asked to provide this role.

Pistey you are doing a fab co-ordination role here and Purple you are very kind to offer the construction. I have never been involved in one of these before and certainly underestimated how much time and effort you have to put in.

I think you are both amazing thanks

TerrysNo2 · 19/10/2011 16:26

oops, that was meant to be Thanks

purplewerepidj · 19/10/2011 16:37

Thanks Terry. i really don't want to put people off asking. That wasn't my intention. It's just that, now we've started, it's becoming a rolling project. There will always be someone to whom something terrible has happened, and there will always (thankfully) be people who want to help.

TerrysNo2 · 19/10/2011 16:50

I don't think anyone will feel that way and I certainly feel more understanding and appreciative of the work you guys put in which is very important. If everyone takes a step back before asking then at least it will make sure that they have really thought about it.

I've always had a philosophy in life that you can always ask for something you want but accept if its a no, so make sure that if anyone asks you and you really can't do it then you say so! Smile

SoupDragon · 19/10/2011 18:13

I don't know where or how you'd draw a line. My gut feeling is that anyone who loses a child deserves one with no question. other than that... I don't know.

Perhaps this year has just been particularly bad :(

purplewerepidj · 19/10/2011 18:25

Soupie, I hope so - I'd hate to think that the rate of loss we've experienced on this forum this year was typical Sad

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 19/10/2011 18:43

I have been wondering about this. This is the first time I have taken part in one, I didn't really know what was involved before but can now see that it is a massive undertaking. I haven't "known" any of the recipients, had assumed that it was people they had known well from whatever area they tended to post in that started them. I can also see that the person who starts it could get overwhelmed if far more offers of help come in than they envisaged. Or if lots more blanket projects start up it would be a shame if compassion fatigue set in and they were not as well supported.

I'm not sure what the answers are, but it has given me a lot of food for thought. Also, huge respect to those of you organising and making the blankets, you should all be very proud of yourselves.

TheRealMBJ · 19/10/2011 18:58

I really wondered about this too, with the second blanket. It is something very, very special and unique to MN, but it is a HUGE task. Many people are willing to chip in but ultimately the making up/co-ordinationing are the biggest tasks and they can't fall upon the same people time and again.

Perhaps we should only be doing them for posters who lose their children? (Not that any other loss is less painful or has a smaller impact on the family, but a line must be drawn somewhere) Perhaps they should also only be offered to posters who are known to another MN in person (to avoid emotional trolls)? Perhaps we should get an 'army' of crafters who are willing to do the making up and ask them to be on a rota of some sort? And the nominee must be responsible for co-ordinating/finding a willing co-ordinator?

Perhaps none of these things?

Maybe we should ask MNHQ to do a poll to see what most MNetters think? Perhaps not?

(PS I would be willing to help with the crocheting together, if someone will teach me how to do it properly and perhaps be willing to get together and do tea and cake mornings with me. I have a self taught method that is ok, but isn't nearly professional looking enough for a MN blanket)

purplewerepidj · 19/10/2011 19:10

So far, blankets have been offered to long-time posters known to many MNers. That's completely not an issue here.

The "problem" if it can be called that is that while there are many posters who know of people who need a blanket, and many who have the time to create a square, there are relatively few who are able/willing to take on the construction side.

I do not regret doing the blankets I've done. At the time, I was bored at work and putting together blankets was something my boss was happy for me to do while there. I will get Magic's finished, just need to get the start of a new job and this stupid cold out of the way - oh and DNephew's coming for half term, which is the same week I start the new job

We just need folk to have a think and find out about the wider picture before they make suggestions. Knotty and I are swamped, Pistey is shouldering her burden womanfully... Volunteers please! Grin

purplewerepidj · 19/10/2011 19:11

MBJ, I'd prefer to keep it within those who "know" iyswim - I feel uncomfortable enough voicing opinions like this without opening it up to AIBU Blush

Coffee and cake are always acceptable - as is a consultancy service Wink

SoupDragon · 19/10/2011 19:13

Is it possible for different people to sew squares into strips? Would that cut down the load for one person who "only" has to sew the strips into a blanket and edge it?

Bear in mind I've only ever made one blanket :)

KnottyLocks · 19/10/2011 19:17

Evening Smile

It has been an issue Pidj and I have discussed fairly recently: how the hell we decide who should get blanket. No real conclusion reached. It is not for us to measure who is more deserving and to be honest, what right have we to do that anyhow. Pain is pain. What has been a deciding factor has been time - it's the only measure we have. Being realistic, what can we achieve, what else is being undertaken.
Currently we have the following projects ongoing:

3 blankets for Magic8 - being put together by Pidj, Ivy and Lydia.

2 blankets, one for Whatevertheweather and one for CheeseandGerkins - being put together by me

the garlands for Cupoftea's girls - me again

the blanket raffle for Winston's Wish - I'm working on the logistics and planning

blanket for Chipmonkey - admin by Piste, team assembly by Pidj and me

We cannot expect people to understand the level of organisation and making behind these projects because up until now we haven't articulated it.

KnottyLocks · 19/10/2011 19:20

I haven't finished but it's time to get my two little darlings sorted!

TheRealMBJ · 19/10/2011 19:28

Yes, I can see that opening it up may cause a lot of heartache. Sad

I am very willing to help (as I've said above) but with a toddler and the immenent delivery of DD cannot take full responsibility for the making up of blankets on my own. I live near(ish) York and would be more than willing to meet up with another MNetter to put squares together over a few mornings.

purplewerepidj · 19/10/2011 19:42

Soupie, I can't see that cutting down on the work tbh, unless the two people were geographically close. Knotty, Pistey and I have the advantage of being within about 80 miles of each other with half decent train service/roads! The only way that might work is to have one person construct and another edge...

MBJ yours are very very valid reasons, and you should not be disappointed in yourself for not doing more!! or I'll retract your coffee and cake privileges

Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 19/10/2011 19:42

The really positive thing from this afternoon is the frank discussion that has taken place, and Pidj, no Blush needed you're amongst friends.

OP posts:
Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 19/10/2011 19:43

I want cake!

OP posts:
purplewerepidj · 19/10/2011 19:48

For Pistey

I'm not sure I could take it if the MN Jury declared IABU on this one Wink

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 19/10/2011 19:50

To give us an idea, approx how many squares are there going to be in this blanket?

I didn't realise so many were happening, I had been aware of 3 over the last 6 months or so from them coming up in Most Active.