Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The kind of “girl” that a boy who identifies as a girl thinks he is

1000 replies

MyAmpleSheep · 18/10/2026 14:49

How do people who celebrate the transitioning of five year old children know that the kind of girl a boy who identities as a “girl” identifies as is the same kind of girl that a girl who identifies as a “girl” is?

Other than than from what he sees girls doing, how can a boy “know” what being a girl is, to be sure he is one?

is it posited that there is an innate sense of boy:girl that exists outside of the experience of seeing and being the presence of others?

If a child was “raised by wolves”, could they be trans? If that child had a male body and reached the age of 20 never having seen or met or known of the existence of women is it possible for them to grow up with dysphoria? When eventually discovering the other sex would they suddenly recognize “they had been born in the wrong body”?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:05

brownbootsandhats · 19/10/2026 12:26

Yes the more people talk about changing people the worse I feel - partly in that I feel people want to physically harm me and partly because it would be nice to be physically different- all at the same time

i think you are missing the key point about how normalisation of “treatment “ has affected how people approach their problems and made it harder for them to take a none medical route

when we can see many people have previously lived well without treatment, when we can see that the promise of treatment has a mental impact that makes it harder for people to manage without it , we should think very carefully indeed about normalising this

I think I agree that we shouldn't "normalise" treatment, but nor should we deny it to those who might desperately need and want it.

A range of different evidence based treatment options should be available, on the basis of careful assessment, informed consent, and careful clinical consideration of the benefits, risks and harms in each individual case. As we would with any other condition.

HenriettaSwanLeavitt2 · 19/10/2026 13:09

Read some Piaget please! @prof_curiosity1 on X has been mentioned on threads recently.

Book coming out soon (wait for pic to load):

The kind of “girl” that a boy who identifies as a girl thinks he is
nutmeg7 · 19/10/2026 13:16

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 19/10/2026 00:15

Okay, that's just transphobia. The whole thing.

Minorities are not hive minds.

I mean where do you even start. Trans school shooters number between 1 and 5, in comparison to the thousands attributable to cis. Same as cis paedophiles vastly outnumber trans. And you knew absolutely nothing about the real lives of trans children.

Get out more, read more, and learn what individuals are.

For the shooter example to be meaningful, you need to compare rates proportionally.

Whatever your strong feelings on this, it isn’t any sort of argument to say “cis people are most of the shooters”.

Given trans people are about 0.5% of the population, we’d expect about 199 cis shootings to every trans shooting.

When you have the stats on that, a meaningful comparison could be made.

MyAmpleSheep · 19/10/2026 13:23

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:05

I think I agree that we shouldn't "normalise" treatment, but nor should we deny it to those who might desperately need and want it.

A range of different evidence based treatment options should be available, on the basis of careful assessment, informed consent, and careful clinical consideration of the benefits, risks and harms in each individual case. As we would with any other condition.

careful assessment, informed consent, and careful clinical consideration of the benefits, risks and harms in each individual case

From what you've come to understand, through news reports, tribunal evidence, online, and other sources, do you feel this has been generally been done satisfactorily up until now?

Health authorities in different countries all of whom would say they agree with the same principles have come to wildly different outcomes. Who's right?

OP posts:
Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:31

MyAmpleSheep · 19/10/2026 13:23

careful assessment, informed consent, and careful clinical consideration of the benefits, risks and harms in each individual case

From what you've come to understand, through news reports, tribunal evidence, online, and other sources, do you feel this has been generally been done satisfactorily up until now?

Health authorities in different countries all of whom would say they agree with the same principles have come to wildly different outcomes. Who's right?

No, I don’t think it’s been done well. I think the Tavistock provided a woeful service. One of its problems was the failure to systematically collect robust data on the patients it was treating. The service was also riddled with confused and inconsistent theory and practice, as well as lacking transparency and being difficult to access. Reform was definitely needed. But I think we’re going in entirely the wrong direction for the most part.

Having said that, I welcome the PATHWAYS trial. Although it has its flaws and limitations—some of which I see as the product of politics—I hope it will produce important, robust new evidence to inform better clinical practice.

OldCrone · 19/10/2026 13:34

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:31

No, I don’t think it’s been done well. I think the Tavistock provided a woeful service. One of its problems was the failure to systematically collect robust data on the patients it was treating. The service was also riddled with confused and inconsistent theory and practice, as well as lacking transparency and being difficult to access. Reform was definitely needed. But I think we’re going in entirely the wrong direction for the most part.

Having said that, I welcome the PATHWAYS trial. Although it has its flaws and limitations—some of which I see as the product of politics—I hope it will produce important, robust new evidence to inform better clinical practice.

Aren't a lot of the same people involved with this trial?

nicepotoftea · 19/10/2026 13:35

MyAmpleSheep · 19/10/2026 13:23

careful assessment, informed consent, and careful clinical consideration of the benefits, risks and harms in each individual case

From what you've come to understand, through news reports, tribunal evidence, online, and other sources, do you feel this has been generally been done satisfactorily up until now?

Health authorities in different countries all of whom would say they agree with the same principles have come to wildly different outcomes. Who's right?

Where is good practice being demonstrated?

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/mar/09/disturbing-leaks-from-us-gender-group-wpath-ring-alarm-bells-in-nhs

Why disturbing leaks from US gender group WPATH ring alarm bells in the NHS | Hannah Barnes

WPATH is no model in the search for evidence-based care of transgender children

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/mar/09/disturbing-leaks-from-us-gender-group-wpath-ring-alarm-bells-in-nhs

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:35

OldCrone · 19/10/2026 13:34

Aren't a lot of the same people involved with this trial?

I don't believe so, no.

Soontobe60 · 19/10/2026 13:36

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 07:56

Please educate yourself, by listening to the people who live with this condition everyday

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DccK9dIt9nf?xtok=cGR6ZWF2aGs5aWl6

This person, as they say, was raised as a girl. Many people with CAIS are also raised as female because that’s the easiest option. That doesn’t mean they are female. They say they ‘feel like a woman’. They may well have F on their birth certificate and passport. That’s not negating the fact that they are male.

PS - I could claim to be an Olympic sprinter - that doesn’t mean I actually am one.

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:38

Soontobe60 · 19/10/2026 13:36

This person, as they say, was raised as a girl. Many people with CAIS are also raised as female because that’s the easiest option. That doesn’t mean they are female. They say they ‘feel like a woman’. They may well have F on their birth certificate and passport. That’s not negating the fact that they are male.

PS - I could claim to be an Olympic sprinter - that doesn’t mean I actually am one.

I'm not going to engage with this argument further, as it is deeply, deeply harmful to people living with this condition. It's really not ok.

I accept responsibility for bringing CAIS up in the first place - I understand it was me who did that; it was a derail and unhelpful.

Helleofabore · 19/10/2026 13:38

I see we are again seeing a poster arbitrate who is and is not a genuine transgender person. While also speaking for transgender people when they have said they are not transgender themselves

It is actually really concerning to see.

It is reminiscent of Helen Webberley and Peter Tatchell. I don’t think it actually occurs to people who put themselves in that situation that all they are doing is speaking for people with transgender people but only the ones that they, personally, define as transgender.

Once you see it, you cannot see it.

Zbcdeg · 19/10/2026 13:39

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:05

I think I agree that we shouldn't "normalise" treatment, but nor should we deny it to those who might desperately need and want it.

A range of different evidence based treatment options should be available, on the basis of careful assessment, informed consent, and careful clinical consideration of the benefits, risks and harms in each individual case. As we would with any other condition.

“As we would with any other condition” so you are now describing being trans as a being a condition rather than an intrinsic state of being- which is it? Having a patient who “desperately need(s) and want(s) it “ isn’t a reason to provide a certain pathway of treatment when the reason they might want hormonal /surgical treatments is dysphoria/dysmorphia….it makes the case for psychological input.

DramaAndBullshit · 19/10/2026 13:42

HotChocolateHotCoffeeColdDrinks · 18/10/2026 16:14

I'd like to know how a boy 'knowing' he's a girl differs from a boy 'knowing' he's a dinosaur, cat, or Spiderman.

Or a fairy, or a mermaid, or a unicorn, believing in Santa etc.

A 5 year old boy who wants to wear dresses and sparkles and grow his hair, and plays with dolls is just a boy who wants to wear dresses and sparkles and grow his hair, and play with dolls, not a girl.

Its nonsense. All if it.

Soontobe60 · 19/10/2026 13:42

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:31

No, I don’t think it’s been done well. I think the Tavistock provided a woeful service. One of its problems was the failure to systematically collect robust data on the patients it was treating. The service was also riddled with confused and inconsistent theory and practice, as well as lacking transparency and being difficult to access. Reform was definitely needed. But I think we’re going in entirely the wrong direction for the most part.

Having said that, I welcome the PATHWAYS trial. Although it has its flaws and limitations—some of which I see as the product of politics—I hope it will produce important, robust new evidence to inform better clinical practice.

The biggest flaw in the Pathways Trial is the willingness to medically alter the healthy bodies of children. It’s child abuse condoned by the Government.

nicepotoftea · 19/10/2026 13:44

Zbcdeg · 19/10/2026 13:39

“As we would with any other condition” so you are now describing being trans as a being a condition rather than an intrinsic state of being- which is it? Having a patient who “desperately need(s) and want(s) it “ isn’t a reason to provide a certain pathway of treatment when the reason they might want hormonal /surgical treatments is dysphoria/dysmorphia….it makes the case for psychological input.

I think you come back to confusion about what is being treated - A psychological condition similar to something like anorexia, or being 'born in the wrong body'.

There are many alternative approaches to treating the first, and the second lacks a scientific evidence base.

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:54

Zbcdeg · 19/10/2026 13:39

“As we would with any other condition” so you are now describing being trans as a being a condition rather than an intrinsic state of being- which is it? Having a patient who “desperately need(s) and want(s) it “ isn’t a reason to provide a certain pathway of treatment when the reason they might want hormonal /surgical treatments is dysphoria/dysmorphia….it makes the case for psychological input.

Something can be both a condition and an intrinsic aspect of someone’s experience. Those aren’t mutually exclusive categories.

There are some people who want to prevent anyone from being able to describe what being 'trans' is . They insist that any attempt to offer a definition is "gatekeeping". That's plainly absurd.

Gender incongruence describes a particular psychological experience, recognised in the scientific and clinical literature. We can describe it—and we must. It is not the same as being gender non-conforming or uncomfortable with gender stereotypes. People cannot simply describe their own very commonplace experience of the latter and assume it is qualitatively the same as gender incongruence. That appropriates someone else’s experience rather than trying to understand it, and it’s inappropriate.

I absolutely think a patient’s views about their own treatment should carry very serious weight. I think it's deeply problematic to suggest otherwise. Psychological support may help someone manage distress or other difficulties, but that does not establish that it can resolve gender incongruence itself. There are many neurological, psychiatric and psychological conditions for which psychological therapy alone is insufficient, and medication or other interventions may be needed. The fact that an experience is psychological does not mean that psychological therapy is necessarily an effective or sufficient treatment.

OldCrone · 19/10/2026 14:04

nicepotoftea · 19/10/2026 13:44

I think you come back to confusion about what is being treated - A psychological condition similar to something like anorexia, or being 'born in the wrong body'.

There are many alternative approaches to treating the first, and the second lacks a scientific evidence base.

This is why I've asked @Lacksie and others supporting this treatment exactly what it is that they think is being treated.

I'm not asking 'what do you think gender incongruence is?' because I don't know and think they can tell me. It's because I want to know what is going on in their minds that they think this so-called treatment is appropriate.

Is it a natural state of being like being gay? If so, why does it need any medical treatment at all?

Is it a mental health condition in which the sufferer thinks their body should be different? If so, why are sufferers being 'affirmed' rather than given psychological help to accept their bodies?

Is it a condition similar to BIID? If so, why is it seen as appropriate to perform surgery on a healthy body if it's the penis or the breasts which are the body parts they can't accept, but not if it's one of their legs?

Or is it 'born in the wrong body'? How does that work?

BackToLurk · 19/10/2026 14:08

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 13:31

No, I don’t think it’s been done well. I think the Tavistock provided a woeful service. One of its problems was the failure to systematically collect robust data on the patients it was treating. The service was also riddled with confused and inconsistent theory and practice, as well as lacking transparency and being difficult to access. Reform was definitely needed. But I think we’re going in entirely the wrong direction for the most part.

Having said that, I welcome the PATHWAYS trial. Although it has its flaws and limitations—some of which I see as the product of politics—I hope it will produce important, robust new evidence to inform better clinical practice.

Do you have an example of it being 'done well'? GenderGP maybe?

Zbcdeg · 19/10/2026 14:13

@Lacksie so if you had research evidence or studies showing that amongst those who received medical and surgical interventions , those individuals showed an increase in psychiatric morbidity ( ie, the Finnish study) would you consider that those physical treatments are helpful or unhelpful? Why would we give hormonal and surgical treatments that have the potential to cause physical harm ( incontinence, sexual dysfunction, fertility loss, bone and joint changes) to people when the evidence so far is not showing a reduction in psychological distress but actually indicates worsening mental health? Indeed “Finland was among the first European countries to conduct systematic evidence reviews of “gender-affirming” care for minors.”

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 14:19

OldCrone · 19/10/2026 14:04

This is why I've asked @Lacksie and others supporting this treatment exactly what it is that they think is being treated.

I'm not asking 'what do you think gender incongruence is?' because I don't know and think they can tell me. It's because I want to know what is going on in their minds that they think this so-called treatment is appropriate.

Is it a natural state of being like being gay? If so, why does it need any medical treatment at all?

Is it a mental health condition in which the sufferer thinks their body should be different? If so, why are sufferers being 'affirmed' rather than given psychological help to accept their bodies?

Is it a condition similar to BIID? If so, why is it seen as appropriate to perform surgery on a healthy body if it's the penis or the breasts which are the body parts they can't accept, but not if it's one of their legs?

Or is it 'born in the wrong body'? How does that work?

I'll try again.

Maybe you will consider reading my reply?

Gender incongruence is a neurocognitive/psychological condition whereby a person’s internal recognition or representation of themselves as male or female does not correspond with their physical anatomy. The person is not deluded about what anatomy they have, but despite this anatomy, they continue to experiences a persistent incongruence between those bodily sex characteristics and the representation of self constructed in the brain.

This may seem counterintuitive, but it is entirely compatible with our understanding, drawn from neuroscientific literature, of how the brain represents and experiences the body and self.

It is a natural condition. There is no evidence that it occurs as a consequence of social rearing, and it is entirely independent of whatever stereotypes about gender a person may hold, their intellectual beliefs or political ideologies about sex and gender, and their personal preferences regarding activities, clothes, etc.

For some people, the experience of gender incongruence can be deeply disorientating and distressing. It can result in severe clinical psychological distress and therefore require healthcare intervention and support. Those interventions may include a range of psychological, hormonal or surgical interventions. Decisions about healthcare should be based on clinical evidence, thorough assessment, informed consent, and the balancing of benefits and harms in each individual case.

Imdunfer · 19/10/2026 14:19

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 10:19

Yes, findings from animal studies are used to inform human research. That doesn’t mean that any evidence of harm in animals automatically precludes human trials. The nature of the harm, the dose at which it occurs, its relevance to humans and the potential risks and benefits all matter. This is basic pharmacological research methodology.

You also seem to be suggesting that pharmacological treatment of psychological or neurodevelopmental conditions is only appropriate once psychological therapy has failed. That simply isn’t a universal principle of clinical medicine. Different conditions have different treatment pathways, and psychological and pharmacological interventions may be used independently or alongside one another.

As for your claims about psychological interventions, you’re conflating affirmation with the absence of psychological exploration. These are not the same thing. A psychologist can respect a child’s account of their gender identity while exploring their feelings, experiences, relationships and the social context in which their distress arises. There is no inherent contradiction between the two.
Indeed, the NHS England service specification published in April 2026 explicitly requires holistic assessment, psychological formulation and individualised care planning, including exploration of factors that might contribute to a child’s distress.

And finally, PATHWAYS requires prior psychosocial support and assessment of clinical suitability

You are deluded in so many directions at once that I don't know where to start.

So I won't bother.

BackToLurk · 19/10/2026 14:19

OldCrone · 19/10/2026 14:04

This is why I've asked @Lacksie and others supporting this treatment exactly what it is that they think is being treated.

I'm not asking 'what do you think gender incongruence is?' because I don't know and think they can tell me. It's because I want to know what is going on in their minds that they think this so-called treatment is appropriate.

Is it a natural state of being like being gay? If so, why does it need any medical treatment at all?

Is it a mental health condition in which the sufferer thinks their body should be different? If so, why are sufferers being 'affirmed' rather than given psychological help to accept their bodies?

Is it a condition similar to BIID? If so, why is it seen as appropriate to perform surgery on a healthy body if it's the penis or the breasts which are the body parts they can't accept, but not if it's one of their legs?

Or is it 'born in the wrong body'? How does that work?

I think that is an interesting question. We've previously had raised the fact that other psychiatric and psychological conditions are treated with medication but I'm not sure how useful or appropriate that parallel is.

When someone is treated with medication for a psychological or psychiatric condition the rationale is broadly this. (and I'm simplifying). The brain is causing the individual to experience hallucinations or mania or depression or anxiety or lack of focus, so medication is given to prevent the brain from causing the experiences in the individual (or to reduce them). We alter the brain chemistry. The site of the disorder.

In gender dysphoria, we seem to be saying (if it is psychological or psychiatric) that the brain is causing the individual to believe they are not, for example, female despite having a female body. Rather than medicating, as in the other examples, to stop them believing this, we medicate the body to conform to their beliefs. We alter the endocrine system.

Zbcdeg · 19/10/2026 14:21

Zbcdeg · 19/10/2026 13:00

@Lacksie If we are looking at trans from a neuro-cognitive angle, from what we know about brain development during this period, then it absolutely makes the case that we shouldn’t interfere with the processes of puberty using either puberty blockers or cross sex hormones in teenagers and young people, and that we should be paternalistic in our approach and not let any young person make irrevocable decisions about medical treatment until at least the age of 25.

@Lacksie I’ll re-quote my own post that you didn’t respond to about the neuro-cognitive argument.

Imdunfer · 19/10/2026 14:24

It is entirely independent of whatever stereotypes about gender a person may hold, their intellectual beliefs or political ideologies about sex and gender, and their personal preferences regarding activities, clothes, etc.

And yet the only way they can describe this dysphoria is by reference to female body structure and female gender stereotype.

So that can't be true.

nicepotoftea · 19/10/2026 14:26

Lacksie · 19/10/2026 14:19

I'll try again.

Maybe you will consider reading my reply?

Gender incongruence is a neurocognitive/psychological condition whereby a person’s internal recognition or representation of themselves as male or female does not correspond with their physical anatomy. The person is not deluded about what anatomy they have, but despite this anatomy, they continue to experiences a persistent incongruence between those bodily sex characteristics and the representation of self constructed in the brain.

This may seem counterintuitive, but it is entirely compatible with our understanding, drawn from neuroscientific literature, of how the brain represents and experiences the body and self.

It is a natural condition. There is no evidence that it occurs as a consequence of social rearing, and it is entirely independent of whatever stereotypes about gender a person may hold, their intellectual beliefs or political ideologies about sex and gender, and their personal preferences regarding activities, clothes, etc.

For some people, the experience of gender incongruence can be deeply disorientating and distressing. It can result in severe clinical psychological distress and therefore require healthcare intervention and support. Those interventions may include a range of psychological, hormonal or surgical interventions. Decisions about healthcare should be based on clinical evidence, thorough assessment, informed consent, and the balancing of benefits and harms in each individual case.

Edited

So if it's a psychological condition that causes distress, why is there so much opposition to a cure?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.