The Bluestocking, where we look forward to good things happening, both soon and later.

[AsWithGlad]

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women's pub. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by a very enthusiastic crew of gerbils, who enjoy doing this and other interesting things. Any curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road.

Previous thread: here.

Sounds like a job for Gillian!

@MarieDeGournay I love My Cat From Hell. Jackson Galaxy is the expert, he is great. I have tried some of his tips on the marshmallow but he's still a wimp 😁 He is very good at attacking his Ouija board though so he's brave when it comes to Eldritch horrors!

Thank you for the validation, Rum, it occurred to me later that my opinion on a programme about cats isn't worth a hill of beans, so it's good to know that a 'cat guardian' [I think that's the phrase he uses?] also like the presenter/expert.

I think I'll take this opportunity to post again the nearest thing to a 'look at my cat' photo that I can manage: a ginormous Maine Coon that appeared in my back garden a couple of times and settled down for a snooze. Totally ignored me when I approached it with a bowl of water - it was a very hot day and I thought it might be suffering in the heat with that big heavy coat. Well it can't say I didn't offer😠

Kitty & Fred have bonded in the past over their Ouija boards 😀

Thank you for reading and enjoying it so much!

It is not your fault. If it hadn’t been the data stick, I would have found something else to put them in jeopardy.

And at least you haven’t had days of fretting about the gerbils’ whereabouts.

When I was getting Kitty’s breakfast, I was chatting to her about what a good girl she was helping MyrtleLion & how she was going to save the gerbils.

I don’t think much of it got through.

Is Jeopardy that town between Stockholm and Uppsala?

🤣

I'm impressed by semi-sentient Fred.

We had a Fred and he was smart as a whip. His ginger brother Danny had dryer fluff for brains. Every now and again he'd stick a hind paw deep into an ear to give the fluff a stir. It didn't improve matters.

My other ginger nonsense, on the other hand, looked like a total moron and was actually very smart. When the other cats would try to catch the red laser light on the floor, he'd just grab the pointer out of my hand and make off with it.

Isn't Jeopardy the place where there is loads of jobs?

Yes, you're right. It's a bit like Random being the most bombed town in Britain during the last war. Every day during the Blitz the BBC reported that bombs were dropped at Random.

I thought it was where all the big black cats live.

It's actually quite close to Jest.

Batshit discovered today that she could jump onto the garden table.

Then she realised that it was catching the sun and was pleasantly warm. So she stood there, in an entirely supervisory capacity, watching me do some fairly savage pruning of an overgrown shrub. I kept an eye on her, lest she fall off, but although there were a couple of moments when she almost did, somehow she didn't.

I had to saw up some of the shrub's smaller branches (monster twigs, really), and used the table as a saw bench. Batshit of course had to come across the table and stick her nose in, but managed, with a bit of help from me, to avoid the saw.

Brains meanwhile was on the patio, sunning herself there.

It was all very autumnal. It was cool out of the sun, and not that hot in it. Farmer Giles from down the road drove by with a sack of seed to feed the hopper of his drill. A shotgun was popping off at intervals the whole time I was gardening, someone (almost certainly the old chap with the old Landrover) getting on top of the woodies. Now and then there would be a pause, as he either drove a way along some farm tracks and repositioned his decoys and himself, or retired to the tailgate of the Landy for ten minutes with his flask of tea. Driving back from walking the dogs, I passed a huge heap of recently lifted sugar beet, looking like an infant volcano.

Summer is definitely over.

Evening all. I have had A DAY.

I did find myself in our local church this week. I was admiring the window of St Francis of Assisi, but couldn't see anything suspicious in the leading.

I had an appt the other day and passed a building I have passed probably 100s of times before. I noticed it, finally, and it had the most glorious stain glass windows. I immediately wondered if the gerbils had checked it over!

The gerbils are real. I will hear no argument to the contrary!

I went to an event in a local church last weekend & kept getting distracted by the stained glass windows. They were too high up for proper inspection.

One for Errol!

Or anyone else with wings. Like either of us, for example!

Nobody would notice a beetle flying around a stained glass window. A magpie doing the same would draw some comments but seeing a fuck-off great big dragon would cause pandemonium in the strange world beyond the Bluestocking.

This is very true, as explained in Chapter 34

“Liverpool Cathedral,” she said, “is the largest cathedral in Britain.”

“It was large enough for Errol to be inside,” said Gossip.

“I went inside. By the west door, and I stood in the middle and there was room above me. There was a great deal of room above me. I could have flown in it.”

“You did fly in it,” said Gray.

“Briefly,” said Errol.

“Did anybody notice you?” asked Girdle.

“Everybody noticed me. I am a dragon.”

“They assumed Errol was something to do with an exhibition at the cathedral,” said Gospel.

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/34-revelations-from-liverpool-cathedral

The next chapter is on its way.

No argument here, Boily.

61. Reunion

In which everybody speaks at once…

At a little after 10 o'clock the next morning, Gosie and @EmpressaurusKitty turned into the depot gate less than a minute after the KS courier carrying the crate from Pernilla Ågren's studio.

They stepped out of the car just as the courier wheeled the crate in through the office door on a sack barrow. MyrtleLion was already standing at the counter with the clipboard against her chest and a cup of coffee at her elbow. She looked round as Gosie and Empressaurus walked into the office and made a tick.

Signe logged the crate onto the system, then turned to MyrtleLion.

"This crate is for the same consignee as the previous crate. It will be collected later this morning," she said. "Half past eleven."

MyrtleLion made another tick on the clipboard.

"Collected by whom?" asked Empressaurus.

Signe ignored her.

"Have you seen Kitty?" asked Empressaurus.

Signe continued to ignore her and indicated that the courier should wheel the crate into the depot. Gosie, Empressaurus and MyrtleLion followed the courier and watched as she placed the new crate beside the rollers. Then they walked the length of the loading area, past the cages and the padded envelopes to the far end, and the last pallet.

Kitty was lying on the concrete against the back wall. Nestled into her white stomach, fast asleep, lay Griffin, Gimbal and Graphic.

Everyone stopped walking immediately. Empressaurus nearly walked into Gosie's back.

Kitty opened one eye and began to purr. She brushed a paw slowly over the heads of the gerbils to wake them. Gimbal sat up first and looked up.

"Gosie!" she said, running over and hugging her tight. Griffin and Graphic also sat up and also ran over to Gosie, nearly pushing her over with their weight.

Then all three of them were talking at once.

"Fenella found Boily D:!" said Griffin. "Halcyon couldn't save the spreadsheet and Fenella came over and saw Boily D: in the recent files, and she didn't say anything, she just saved it somewhere, said nothing to worry about, all saved now, and went back to her bench."

"And then she had us pack the window," said Gimbal. "The real one. With the crack."

"The crack was just above the Reconstruction mark," said Graphic. "In the lead."

"And the docket said Consignee 3859, I read it out, and then the door was locked," said Gimbal.

"We banged and banged," said Griffin.

"And we shouted," said Graphic. "But nobody came."

"We used the far corner," said Gimbal. "We covered it over properly afterwards."

"There was a box of our seeds on the second shelf," said Graphic.

"An advance," said Griffin. "On our wages."

"Four each," said Gimbal. "I put one back."

"Then the lights went out," said Griffin.

"And it was cold," said Graphic.

"And we got in the crate," said Gimbal, "to be warm."

"I checked the wool first," said Graphic. "There was enough between us and the glass."

"Then a hammer woke us up and we were being nailed in. Twelve nails. I counted them," said Gimbal.

"Then we were in a van, and then on a plane," said Griffin. "Our ears went funny."

"We didn't have passports," said Gimbal.

"Then we were taken in another van," said Graphic.

"And we shared the seeds carefully because we didn't have many," said Griffin. "Gimbal counted them for us."

"I did," said Gimbal. "Then we needed to get out of the crate in case we couldn't hold it in, and we gnawed through the corner."

"We couldn't go in the crate. Not near the glass," said Graphic.

"We were going to go back in," said Griffin. "Because of the docket. We knew you would find the crate and if we weren't in it, you wouldn't find us."

"But the van went without us. In a car park. It said KS on the door," said Gimbal.

"There was a big red sign," said Griffin. "And picnic tables. Somebody had left chips."

"And half a sandwich," said Graphic. "I checked the tables first."

"The bag had a circle over the a," said Griffin. "Like in Umeå. That's how I knew we were in Sweden."

"I counted the vans," said Gimbal. "Four blue postnord, two green bring, two white DB Schenker. If there were four blue ones there was going to be another grey one."

"The courier had a grey fleece with KS on the sleeves," said Graphic.

"I counted the fleeces," said Gimbal. "A wolf. A man without the letters. A skier, I counted her anyway. Then at three minutes past midnight, KS."

"We waited eleven minutes for her by the van door," said Griffin.

"Then we slept in the back of her van and woke up here," said Graphic.

"And Kitty was here," said Gimbal.

Gosie took the small brown paper packet out of her pocket. "We knew you had been in the crate. I found this," she said. "It was as if you left us a clue."

Gimbal took it, then said, "We didn't mean to. The driver only took off her fleece. We wouldn't have left the van if we'd known."

Empressaurus put her arms around all three gerbils. "You're here now. You're safe. And Kitty looked after you."

At that moment, Signe came out of the office and walked over to MyrtleLion. "The crate will be collected now," she said. As she stepped aside, they could see a goldfinch in overalls coming in through the roller door, dusting off her wings.

It was Gemma Glasswing.

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/61-reunion

Wait what? I'm expected to actually do some work? When did that happen? Can I contest the ruling?

I have already spent decades looking at stained glass windows, although a limited selection. That’s what comes from singing in chapel choirs, where we face each other across the building rather than looking forward to the altar.