Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

[BernardBlacksMolluscs]

As I was cleaning the house this morning I was musing on those songs that come on the radio that you've been singing along with for years where you suddenly actually listen to the lyrics and either think 'well you sound very sensible' or 'intervention. NOW'. Any one got any suggestions? The ones I came up with first were

Healthy - Respect by Aretha Franklin. I know it's a cliche, and the guy she's singing about sounds like borderline not a keeper frankly, but I love the line 'I ain't gonna do you wrong, cause I don't want to'. She's all in, but she's still telling him how she expects to be treated

Red buntingtastic - Never Gonna Give You Up - why wouldn't she get a full commitment from any other guy Rick, you gaslighting bastard?

Anyone else fancy whiling away some weekend time thinking up some examples?

(mumsnet's AI suggested a thread title of 'Songs that sound sensible or alarming once you really hear the lyrics' which I kind of love but decided not to go with!)

I feel everyone needs the earworm I now have (I must have heard this a lot growing up as I remember it well!)

There's this beauty from Glen Campbell -

It's knowing that your door is always open
And your path is free to walk
That makes me tend to leave my sleeping bag
Rolled up and stashed behind your couch
And it's knowing I'm not shackled
By forgotten words and bonds
And the ink stains that are dried upon some line
That keeps you in the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
That keeps you ever gentle on my mind.

AKA he'll stick around as long as you don't make any demands on him, woman!

Exactly. Like its totally normal and acceptable to engage in some form of abusive behaviour because you really love/fancy her.

I'll add I Can't Stand Losing You to those two particularly the following chilling lines

I guess this is our last goodbye
And you don't care, so I won't cry
But you'll be sorry when I'm dead
And all this guilt will be on your head
… I guess you'd call it suicide
But I'm too full to swallow my pride

Emotionally manipulative bastard.

Sting does feel like very hard work, all round.

Just cos it rhymes Sting, doesn’t mean you should write it

I've always heard it as that we're meant to see the narrator as a manipulative loser, though.

I had a vague recollection of the accompanying video to Springsteen’s song that indicates the woman he desires is rich and “kept” by a wealthy older man who doesn’t deserve her, so I sought out the video and I think I’m right.

Either that or he loves the car, the lyrics work for both 🤔

Worth watching for peak Springsteen as a mechanic 🥵

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lrpXArn3hII&list=RDlrpXArn3hII&start_radio=1&pp=ygUcQnJ1Y2Ugc3ByaW5nc3RlZW4gaW0gb24gZmlyZaAHAQ%3D%3D&ra=m

The whole tantric sex thing sounds like an actual nightmare

it would get in the way of mumsnetting, that’s for sure

Perhaps one could Mumsnet whilst doing it, the whole tantric sex thing has always sounded quite slooooowwww to me.

A little bit more.

So creepy

When your bodies had enough of me.. I'm going to love you a little bit more.

Just gross

Yes me too about the man in Baltimore!

Yes! This is always one that makes me shudder

if her body’s had enough of you then leave her alone. This should not be complicated

It would be a clever way of saying she's gone to America but... I don't think it means that. It's a reference to the fact Sir Walter Raleigh introduced tobacco to the UK due to his travels; not sure he discovered America, that would have been Colombus.

There's a 60s era song I heard recently - maybe Beatles - where the bloke is singing how 'I'd love you more than any other guy'; not sure these days that is much of an inducement; it would suggest all manner of lovesick stalkers would have pole position when it comes to a woman's affections, if you follow that logic.

surely they must have used this at some point in MadMen

The song I hate most because of the shit message is "working my way back to you" - I used to mess around and make you cry, it made me feel like a man inside? Just no girl, tell him to fottfsof and then fosm!

Also a second nomination for Nuno and Extreme with "more than words", the song that basically says if you don't put out you're dumped. Ugh.

I adore that song especially as I know the meaning

For calling out unhealthy relationships “Put Him Out” Ms Dynamite.

Also from her “Now U Want My Love”

Her album A Little Deeper is over 20 years old and a favourite I still listen to regularly

this thread (which I love btw) reminds me of how hard it was to find an appropriate first song for my wedding. So many songs that seem like love songs have some really sketchy elements.

we landed on ‘I get the sweetest feeling’ by Jackie Wilson which I think is unproblematic.

On the other hand, I heard ‘Better the devil you know’ a few months ago and properly paid attention to the lyrics. It’s quite depressing how many songs are about women putting up with shitty cheating men.

We went for ‘these foolish things’ written by a gay man of course. Comes across as wistful, sweet and romantic to me

Love that song @AnniesFrangipaniin a similar vein think Flowers by Miley Cyrus is just fabulous!
I still buy myself flowers even though I’m in the most loving and committed relationship

I think The Proclaimers are good on the healthy side. As well as the aforementioned 500 Miles and of course Sunshine on Leith, there's Let's Get Married:

And I'll be the one
Who's by your side
I'll be the one
Still taking pride
When we're old if they ask me
"How do you define success?"
I'll say,
You meet a woman
You fall in love
You ask her and
She says "Yes"

Their love songs just feels like the singer simply, straightforwardly love the woman they're singing about.

(I'm not familiar with all their work, they e been going a long time, and now I'm scared someone will pop up with horribly misogynistic Proclaimers lyrics and I'll be all sad.)

But it was written for Johnny Cash's first wife, who he definitely wasn't faithful to. And apparently still wasn't faithful to June Carter, the love of his life (we went to see The Ballad of Johnny and June this week)

Maybe a bit niche, but "If You Want To" by Dadi Freyr should go in the healthy column. Chorus as follows:

If you want to do
I want it too
But if you don't want to
I don't think we should

So many 60s songs, mostly about young girls or 'nasty' girls that 'run around'. There's one that Tony Blackburn plays nearly every week on sounds of the sixties. I don't know who it's by or what it's called, but it goes
Have I the right
To kiss you
Have I the right
To touch you

I always shout at the radio when it comes on!