Friends suggesting transphobia and misogyny both rooted in policing gender roles

[Pyjamatimenow]

Friend of mine has posted on her social media ( a very long detailed post) that basically trans rights are women’s rights and that what she sees as transphobia is akin to people who ‘punish’ women who don’t fit into gender stereotypes, don’t get married, don’t look ‘feminine’, don’t have children…Says she’s a feminist and defends the rights of trans women to live safely etc …whatever that means. Cis women mentioned several times. I don’t normally comment on these kinds of things on FB but struggling with this particular post! If I were to say something what would you say?

Perhaps they were channelling their inner "female" with flamboyant displays of lace?

I hope he didn't pay much for that portrait something in the proportions is very off.

So all upper class males for a good century and a bit were trans? Could there have been some sort of social contagion? 🤔

My point exactly! "Pink" lace is clearly meant for the make sex, after having been bestowed upon them by the female sex who understood instinctively, psychologically (and sometimes physiologically) how to make "lace" as a physical manifestation of their inner femaleness.

Who needs proportions when they have heels, lace and pink pink pink?

And the hat and gloves.

And a bloody big sword to kill you with if you're not sufficiently impressed by his manliness.

Or because you can get away with paying women next to nothing due to their lack of power and lace was very time intensive to make but could be done at home.

Well, I'm certainly not above admitting that this part of it eludes me, except that I know (because Google told me so) that "lace" would definitely have played a part in this. Sounds like a good research paper waiting to happen, as long as the researcher starts from the fundamental understanding that "lace" originates the essence of "female."

I have an old friend who did a series of outraged FB posts after FWS decision last year. i felt I couldn’t let her “be kind” and “I’ve no idea why people don’t feel the same way I do about male bodied people in a toilet/changing room” posts stand unchallenged at all, so I made a very mild comment about being pleased that trans men retained their maternity rights. Another mutual friend made a similar mild comment about women’s sports (and thus we outed ourselves to each other as GC!).

However. It turned out the friend who posted originally has a lot of online trans-identified friends and I inadvertently got into a “discussion” with them. There was lots of emotion on their side, and arguments that have been debunked numerous times on here. It was mostly polite but a strong example of not being able to reason people out of positions they didn’t reason themselves into.

I love my friend who is generous and kind, but recognise there is some rigid thinking going on about what “kind” means on this topic. She gets stuck at the point of thinking she doesn’t have a problem with mixed sex changing so why does anyone else. She’s never been very good at putting herself into someone else’s shoes, and there is a lot of neurodiversity in her family so I think there are lots of factors involved in why she holds the position she does.

Like PP, I’ve noticed that my friend’s posts on this topic get a lot less engagement than her other posts. I scroll past them now, we’re never going to be able to find common ground on this subject.

Possibly, although Google didn't tell me that, so I couldn't comment.

BridgetPhillipsonIsACowardlyJobsworth is on fire today, got the whole gender thing nailed! * *

Surely the male gender is nailed, while the female gender is pinned? Nails are far to manly for the little ladies.

Except when they are mani-pedi nails, of course

Of course, but it seemed obvious that thirdfiddle was referring to the 'and hammer' type nails which are definitely male coded. Just like glasses are female coded if they are rimless but male coded if they are pint. 🍺

I'm so easily influenced - I fancy a pint now.

Well, I'm out. If you're going to start comparing hardware as physical manifestations of inner, psychological sex, then it's clear to me that not one of you has the capacity to understand an argument. I'm a busy person, far too busy to have to start doing your research for you.

<flounce>

ps. forgot to wish you all peace and love

Are a you a man? Pints are not ladylike.

Ooo oooo I know this one!

Pint mugs and nonic glasses are for bitter and never ladylike.

Weizen glasses are ladylike for bitter, but manly for larger.

Pilsner glasses are ladylike for larger.

Half pints are, of course, just for children.

Source: Northern pubs in the 1990s.

I was a woman, but once I have that pint glass I will obviously become a man, because my psychological sex will have changed. Or something.

I've got orange squash in a pint glass, am I non binary now?

@FlirtsWithRhinos - I worked in a Northern pub in 1989 and got told off for serving s half in a 'Ladies glass' to a bloke. Apparently I should have asked which drink was for which sex of customer because I basically emasculated the poor sod by giving him a glass with a stem.

My aunt insisted on buying me two halves when we went out for lunch because she wouldn't buy a pint for a woman. Still, at least she bought me a drink.

Obviously only in the lounge though. If you walked into the bar of a pub in the back streets of Gateshead in the 90s while being female the music scratched to a halt on the jukebox and the balls clicked to a stop on the pool table.

I may contemplate Spikes psychological sex when I have a bath later. I'm not sure what to make of her??

I especially love the way the same glass was a ladies glass for bitter but a man's glass for larger. Bitter being clearly a weightier manly drink needed an extra manly glass, while larger could get away with a more gentle shape of glass.

Kind of like linen only being manly in the summer.

They are if they come in an extra large champagne flute.

This is so cool, I never knew the names of all these glass types. And now I want a Weizen (the drink not the glass). But how will I tell whether this qualifies me to apply for a male passport or a german one?