Cameron Diaz “has third child” aged 53

[Namingbaba]

It worries me that some people just read headlines like this and think all these women have children naturally. At least that’s the impression I got from reading the comments on this story. The surrogacy sometimes isn’t even mentioned.

Yes there is. Very wrong. Purposely having a baby with an unknown donor is so, so fucking wrong for a start.

Unknown donor maybe but not a proper donor from a clinic. They also wouldn't allow single adoptions if single women (because it usually is) offer a child a substandard life.

All children have fathers. Most will have some desire to have contact at some point.

Even that is awful

from birth, no earlier than that, you are already down one parent! And that’s fair on the child? That’s a good parenting decision for your child? No. Nope.

having one loving parent is better than being in the care system. That’s not a valid point to what we are talking about.

No, I'm old. I'm 70.I find that it seems OK if women do it but wrong if men do. I can't imagine having a relationship with a man of a similar age to my children. .for starters we would be at different stages of our lives,which is evidenced by having a child at an age where women either have teens, or in some cases are already grandmothers.
Your arguments are exactly the same ones that men make when they justify having relationships with women young enough to be their daughters.
Edited to say thanks for thinking I'm young.

with adoptions the child is already here. Thats not purposely going out of your way to bring a child into the world.

That word “welcomed” is doing some heavy lifting.

I know a woman who had a baby naturally at 51. Not impossible.

And they cut her money because one of the twins she was carrying died! Apparently this was agreed in the contract. Talk about a business arrangement covering every eventuality.

I assume there was also a contingency if the baby was born with a disability?

Agree I came to say this. Glad I checked first that it had been said !
I often think about Victoria when I am shattered !
I've looked after my grandsons for years then another was born when I was 50 and another when I was 52. DD went back to work when both were a week old. I have had them full time and they both started nursery at 6 months for 3 mornings.
DD Breastfed till both were over a year we had a good routine but it was still tiring and I haven't done night feeds and financial provision. BUT I have found it a lot harder in my 50s looking after babies and toddlers and the mental load of child rearing these days. So I don't know how much of all that Cameron Diaz or any other celebrity with plenty of funds have to do.
I'm sure the surrogate was happy with the money though, I mean she had a choice and chose to provide the child commodity for the rich couple.

In my heart I agree with this as I grew up without a father. Gives you issues.
But on the same level in my experience a shit parent does more damage than an absent one.
Two of my grandchildren have a father who thought it was ok to smash their Xmas tree up and their mum and then demand he sees them while not providing for them. He's damaging them which is really sad.

Going now to read some Phillip Larkin.

Oh yes just remembered my absent father who I eventually met when I was 28 went on to have another child when he was 56. Then died age 71 when she was 15. Well done that man.

I agree. Carrying a baby for a sibling is a whole different thing to commercial surrogacy. Celebs like Cameron Diaz should be adopting to give homes to children who need them, not renting a womb.

The midwife who delivered my youngest told me she had delivered a baby recently from a woman of 50. Natural conception. It's rare but not impossible. I believe Victoria Coren Mitchell was pregnant with the child she had at 51 and didn't use a surrogate although ofc she may have used donor or frozen eggs, we don't know.

Does anyone remember baby Gammy? A Thai woman was carrying for an Australian couple about a decade ago. She agreed to the process as her family were experiencing severe financial hardships. She was expecting twins, one with downs syndrome. When the twins were born the couple initially took the healthy baby and left. There was public outcry, I think a Go Fund Me was set up for the baby but the couple did later return to Thailand and said they always planned to take the baby boy, Gammy, at a later date. The courts were involved and it all became very messy.

For me, this case raised lots of concerns about international surrogacy in the Global South not fitting into any established legal framework. It didn't seem like any legal protections were in place at that time for the mother and baby, especially as it ended up in a courtroom. I think Thailand has now changed surrogacy laws for foreigners. It was food for thought for a lot of people.

Surrogacy is disgusting and so is selfishly renting someone's womb when you are 53.

The super rich can buy anything and everything, Law and common human decency no longer applies to them. They can buy children, rent poor women's wombs, fly around in private jets every day while preaching about the environment, disgusting creatures. Nothing has any consequences for them.

No, it's not. My grandmother had a baby aged 50. It was confirmed two months ago by my gynecologist that at almost 53 I am still ovulating regularly, I have regular cycles and my hormones are just fine. I can probably have a baby. I don't want to, but I probably could.

Lots of people still have an issue with gamete donation.

I think it goes farther than that.

I think children have a right to have a relationship with their biological parent. And that in all but some very unusual situations it is immoral for a parent not to maintain a relationship with their biological child, on purpose.

Yes, there are times when a person would be unsafe or is otherwise totally unsuitable, or cannot maintain a relationship due to things like death, mental illness, or addiction. Those are sad instances and in many case represent a kind of failure, though the parent will sometimes be less culpable than in other instances.

But what we should absolutely not be doing is deliberately creating a situation where the parent is not involved in an active parental relationship on purpose, in order to "gift" the child to some other parental figure.

We would think it was crazy if someone did that with a 5 or 10 year old and it's not ok with a baby either. Being a father or mother isn't an opt in thing once there is a child, it's absolute duty.

That seems so strange.

It's not like that means the person is related to you.

An adult, even one half your age, is a person in themselves with a personality, interests, values, hobbies, just like any other person who is an adult.

Why wouldn't you be friends with them, or attracted to them, if you have things in common? It seems so arbitrary.

'The gays?' That's a disgusting way to speak

I wouldn't have phrased it like that but I do find the use of surrogacy by rich gay men hugely distasteful see Adam Kay, Elton John etc.