Cameron Diaz “has third child” aged 53

[Namingbaba]

It worries me that some people just read headlines like this and think all these women have children naturally. At least that’s the impression I got from reading the comments on this story. The surrogacy sometimes isn’t even mentioned.

Out of interest, and genuine question - do you feel the same about men fathering children aged 53?

@Dancingsquirrels I think 53 is too old for anyone to become a parent of a newborn

Yes I agree, just wondered if other people felt the same

I've got a work colleague who is a Dad to two young toddlers at 58. He's a physical and mental wreck most of the time, he's absolutely exhausted. His wife is in her late 40s, gave birth at 47 through use of fertility drugs. The oldest child is autistic with serious behavioural issues, and the youngest is showing all the same signs (both non verbal).

It's so morally wrong on every level to have children at these ages, when a lot of people that age are in fact grandparents. Add in buying the child just because you want it? There should be laws preventing anyone buying a child in the first place let alone someone heading towards old age. Surrogacy should only exist for relatives/close friends to altruistically carry a child and no money ever changes hands.

If he wants to have a child with her, he definitely needs it as well…

Not necessarily. I was 38 when my daughter was born, my husband was 51. DD is now 20 and although her dad is older than those of most of her contemporaries, it's never been an issue.

Wow. Toddlers at 58.

I personally do. 73 by the time your child turns 20? Wow.

But it’s worse when both parents are 53 to be perfectly honest.

What about all the gay men who are now buying surrogate babies?

Tbf a lot of them come across as wanting a child as a lifestyle accessory rather than it being driven by a deep biological urge.

I do. It’s irresponsible for anyone to have a baby at that stage in their life. Whilst men don’t lose their fertility in the same way women do, sperm quality decreases and there are increased risks of miscarriage, premature birth, congenital heart defects, and increased neurodevelopmental risks. And how is it fair for a child to have a father who will be rapidly heading to old age when they are a teenager?

Who will care for those children when the parents can't?

All surrogacy is human trafficking and people like Cameron Diaz putting a glamorous face to it are legitimising the less salubrious baby farm businesses in places like India and Ukraine.

The problem I see with the whole thing is that it's most likely not her own eggs (unless she froze them many years ago).

I always thought it was rather selfish to use an anonymous sperm or anymous egg donation.

In my opinion a child should have a right to find out their genetic link.

Everyone should be able to know where their biological roots are.

I didnt say that no men whatsoever want children

I said it was likely she was the main driver of this.

That is fairly common in male/female relationships

I think a child also has a right not to be taken away from its mother - the woman who gestated it - straight after birth, unless there are absolutely dire circumstances to warrant it. It’s widely acknowledged that this is detrimental to the child, but this fact is completely ignored in the surrogacy business.

They can find out, you have to agree to be contacted when the child becomes an adult

@Cheese55 only in certain countries, and you still have to wait until you are 18. Many countries/clinics still have anonymous donors and also unrestricted number of donations.

There was that recent case where it was found that donor carried a cancer gene and he had fathered nearly 200 children. That cannot be ethical

Was he someone people found on fb? Don't clinics screen to stop this happening and restrict the number of babies one donor is used for

You sound very young.

They have been together for over 20 years and seem very happy and compatible. There is no money or power imbalance and no incentive to be together other than they want to be. She has not ‘bought’ him, they both work and are on the similar levels financially. This smacks a bit of the idea of old people having sex is yucky. 😊

@Cheese55 it was something that can be screened for and other countries don’t limit the number of donations used, and indeed donations are sent to clinics across the globe including UK ones

The donor/donations were through official clinics.

@TiredOldHen i think it is more the thought of having a relationship with someone similar age to their adult DC that people are finding yucky

But at the same time, no one has the right to have a baby, even if you really, really want one. If it doesn't happen to you in your younger years for whatever reason, does that mean you ignore what's best for the potential baby and do it anyway later on and in whatever way possible? No matter your age, or whether there will be a father or not?

Rather selfish is an understatement!

I think purposely going it alone (even if you have read the profile of the donor and the kid will potentially be able to make contact at 18) is still abhorrent. Of course even worse if it's anonymous. Just awful to inflict that trauma on a child.

There is nothing wrong with bringing up a child without a father. Sometimes this is better

@Cheese55 I don’t think you should purposely bring a child into this world without one